How do you "be there" for the dh
Forums:
My husband is wonderful to his daughter. He calls her atleast 3 times a day and we get her every weekend. Sometimes things go very smoothly with the bm and her family, but lately it has been difficult. It bothers him tremendously b/c they say alot of things in front of the sd and belittle and talk bad about him. They blame him for any problems that arise and try to convince her not to stay extra time with us when she asks too. It has only gotten worse since we found out we are having a child and I'm sure it'll get even worse when the baby gets here. How do you "be there" for him. I can't honestly say I know how you feel, b/c I don't have children of my own yet and luckily I don't have to have a relationship away from them.
Iced tea and a smile
I find the best way to "be there" for my spouse when he is dealing with the ex and other troubles is to bring a tall glass of iced tea and greet him with a "I'm here to listen" smile. Southern women have a real gift for coaxing their man to talk about himself... we lead with compliments, then questions. We often keep our thoughts about the matter to ourselves and if we are bursting to tell someone, then we call a friend to meet for lunch while he's at work. Some men don't do well with eye contact... my best "be there" conversations with my husband take place on the front porch sipping iced tea at night. We don't even look at each other. We just hold hands and he starts talking. After a while... the whole story comes out. When he's finished talking, he's often embarrassed for talking uninterupted for so long. I always tell him that I love those times and treasure our talks.
It seems to work.
I think his daughter will
I think his daughter will come to her own conclusions. It sounds like your husband is very involved in her life. As for your baby on the way, watch out - because I am sure your baby will have his daughter's heart from the day he or she is born.
Both Skids resented my pregnancy but once my son was born. My bio son age 12, and the two of them couldn't get enough of him. They are all a big help. So I am sure this is all going on because you are pregnant and they do not know how to react but once your child is born thing's will all work out. Trust me
Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.
BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.
Frightened....
Oh Southern Belle, enlighten us some more!! That sounded great! My style is so Sopranos-like...LOL
"Nothing Changes 'Til Something Changes."
Personally, I know I need to react differently in order to get different results.