Disappointed in DH
Okay ... ya all know that we foudn out SS4 hasn't been to the DDS in 2.5 years. Well, DH sent BM an email about his concerns, he had scheduled an appointment (a month out) and offered to take SS if BM couldn't. She threw a hissy fit - of course. Her boyfriend even responded to an email. It appears she isn't going to take SS to the DDS for the appointment we scheduled.
DH and I were talking about filing a motion - she neglects SS in other areas too. I originally told DH that we should just schedule the appointment during our time and take him ourselves - we have to do this with hair cuts, swimming lessons, lessons, and sports because she won't work with us on getting these things done.
Anyway I discussed with DH just scheduling an appointment up here for SS to see my dentist and then we'd just take him every 6-months to make sure it got done. DH was furious with me for even suggesting it. Said it's her responsibility as primary residential parent (we only have him every other weekend) and he isn't going to waste what little time he has with SS taking him to DDS - it's bad enough I have to get his hair cut (he said).
Okay, I do see his point, but to me ... it's more important that SS is taken care of, and if she isn't going to do it then it's up to us. I was very disappointed in DH's response. Anyone else had this experience with DH?
Mocha 2001
Dh could take him and make it a father, son trip. It is important for ss to see a dentist and if Bm won't do it then Dh is going to have to. It will only look good for you if Dh is stepping in even when he doesn't have primary custody. It will make her look bad and irresponsible. You can document things like this for later use.
As I said earlier, we went through the same thing. My Dh had to take ss to the dentist and to get haircuts when Bm had primary custody because she never got around to it. In the long run, Dh ended up with primary custody because of Bm's lack of doing things that ss needed.
Dawn
I agree with Dawn....
What is important here is that SS get the the dentist.... I too think it looks better for you and DH if you take him when she refuses. Also, keep the e-mail she sent in which she refuses to take him to the appointment.... it could come in handy!
Dawn I am With You on This One
Who cares who takes him as long as he goes.
I agree with both of you ...
I agree with everyone on this and maybe, once he isn't in so much pain from back surgery, he'll change his mind. He's also pretty pissed that she has done this while he's recovering from major back surgery.
Anyway, I'm still pushing for us to take him to DDS ... I agree with you guys!
~ Katrina
Thats Not Right
I don't agree that you guys should schedule anything on her time. If he's adament then he needs to do it and take him on his, and whats the big deal with hair cuts also. 10 minutes at Super Cuts.
She won't do it ...
I know we probably shoudln't have scheduled the appointment, but ... 2.5 years not having been taken to the dentist is just a bit too long. It isn't like it's only been a year or anything, and she has absolutely NO VALID EXCUSE - SS has had Tri Care (military) dental insurance, so she wouldn't have had to pay a dime! AND she was unemployed for 3/4 of 2006 - so literally no excuse.
As for the hair cuts, I don't know why she won't take him. DH gets pissed because that's what he pays CS for. But we don't like SS looking like a rag-a-muffin so we get his hair cut. They make a fun morning of it dad-son getting "military" hair cuts - and SS looks so dang cute after he gets his hair cut.
Of course this is from the BM who can't pay the home equity line of credit, but can buy a new riding lawn mower, and a boat, but can't find time to take her kid to the DDS orpay the mortgage. She sure didn't go without getting her nails done when she couldn't afford to pay the mortgage either. Oh, Yeah, and toward the end of last year, when she WAS working ... she went for 2 months without paying for daycare - even though DH paid his share to her and CS on time - hummm. Anyway, she clearly just isn't being resposible.
With this latest with the DDS we are wondering if going for even 50/50 custody would be doable at this point - but you all know how hard that is.
~ Katrina
Update ...
Just a quick update ... After DH's anger settled he agreed that we should take SS to the DDS. I think we are going to take him when we have him in July.
~ Katrina