Happily living in the bubble.
I have been a member for over 10 years!!! Wow, time flies. Of course, I haven't aged a bit. Its been 5 years since the separation (except for that year of reconciliation) and 2 years since the divorce. I have to admit, I'm still a full time lurker of this site.
One of my favourite (Canadian spelling) things to do is eat my lunch at my desk at work and read all of your posts.
I'm in a new relationship with a man who has an ex and 2 kids. I won't give you too many details yet, because its still a very new relationship (4 months). I haven't even met the kids. I'm want to delay that as loooong as possible. You see...I know how challenging it will be if and when that happens, so I'm happily living in the bubble.
There are a few posters on this site that I admire. Some of you have such sage advice. Although, I hope with all my heart of hearts that I'll never need advice. Something tells me that if things progress with this dude, I will. Well, at least I'm going into this relationship sans rose coloured (Canadian spelling) glasses.
So, this post is just to say "thank you" all for reminding me of all the challenges that come with step parenting.
- TheBrightSide's blog
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Comments
I remember you, I think.
I remember you, I think. Didn't you used to have a SD? Western part of Canada?
Congrats on 10 years. I'm about the same. I'm still here everyday too.
Good luck with the new relationship.
Yup. That's me!! Hello from
Yup. That's me!! Hello from the west. SD is now 17 years old. Up until a few months ago, I still spent time with her. EXDH has a new live in girlfriend who has 2 teenaged daughters of her own. Good luck blending exDH.
Karma.
Hi from Ontario! I can't
Hi from Ontario!
I can't believe SD is 17... holy moly. Time flies.
Three teenaged girls under one roof... oy.
Ontario here too! Almost at
Ontario here too!
Almost at the 8 year mark on Steptalk myself.
My SD's are 19 and 17 and life is good now. They come for occasional dinners and family get togethers and that's about it. It's nice being an empty nester.
This is my second kick at the stepmother can as well. Part of me is kicking myself for taking on someone with young children again almost 10 years ago. My kids were adults then, so it was very difficult.
Good luck with the new boyfriend TheBrightSide! Have you picked up on any red flags from any of your conversations yet?
I'm not on the
I'm not on the steppy-go-round yet! I'm just living in the bubble remember. Please don't burst it quite yet. Maybe I'll meet them when they're all grown up...like in their 50s. Delay, delay, delay.
What a difference since my first time around. I was so naive then.
This is my second go at the
This is my second go at the dreaded stepfamily life too but this time, like you, I am not so naive now and really tried to establish boundaries from the get-go on my role in SO's family. I'm lucky this time that my SSs are young adults and SO is not one to put up with disrespect, but I still keep my distance and wish not to become too overly involved in his side of the family for the time being. When the time is right for my involvement, it will be right... but until then, I remain involved at my own pace. I sometimes get a little pressure from SO to be more involved (such as with his granddaughter) but I explain my position clearly and with logic as to why I am not "grandma" and he gets it... phew!
I remember that bubble...
I remember that bubble... Such fond memories... LMAO.
The new dude said to me a few
The new dude said to me a few weeks ago "they're going to like you"! I laughed and laughed and laughed.
Sounds like he's wearing
Sounds like he's wearing rose-colored glasses, too!
Welcome back!
I don't think I could ever
I don't think I could ever again go into a relationship where minor child(ren) are involved. I just gave up too much of myself and my life for that.
Happy anniversary and good luck.
I feel the same. I just won't
I feel the same. I just won't do kids anymore. I'm too old, don't have the energy
DITTO!
DITTO!
no no no how can you date a
no no no how can you date a man with skids again lol, was the first time not hell enough }:) }:)
Remember, you are dating him not his children, so no need in meeting them, remain disengaged from day one!!!
Oh Acra...believe me. I
Oh Acra...believe me. I tried to avoid men with kids. I triiiieeed. Those 40 something guys that have no kids, or those men who've never been married.... there is a REASON they've never been married.
So here I am again. 5 years later. Dating a man with two kids. (I actually love this guy, lord help me). If I gave you all more details on his situation you would be yelling at me. "Nooooo girl!".
Here's the difference. I am armed with knowledge. I know what to expect. (I'm expecting the worst by the way).
I know how to disengage. I know not to get involved with his dealings with his ex. I know how to bite my tongue. I know to leave the parenting to the parents. BUT you know what the most valuable thing I learned from my past experience? Its that I am perfectly alright to want the life I want. I want a man who will prioritize me. Who will value me. Who will respect me. Kids or no kids, if he is not that man AFTER those kids are in my life, then bye bye. Never again will I compromise myself for the sake of someone else's children.
Also, I'm not getting married.
hahahahaha yes when we get a
hahahahaha yes when we get a certain age, it's much easier dating a man with children and divorced then dating a bachelor... og hell those are like little cry babies....
If you have mutual respect, friendship, companionship and trust then by all means go for it, you will notice I have not included open communication, cause no man can communicate imho...
if you are his top priority most of the time... yeah.... I'm still teaching mine to make me top priority most of the time, but heck it's a struggle lol, and I would rather stick it out with the Devil I know then the unknown.
Well keep us updated...
Hi Brightside..Welcome
Hi Brightside..Welcome back!!
A few of us have changed our names. I am Long time Steptalkie here also.