Does BM have an income?? LMAO! Not beyond the government freebies she gets and what she gets from selling her prescription drugs. Highly doubtful that SD would move in with BM. She didn't even stay with her for the 2 weeks that she was home at Christmas time. BM is a low life and gets evicted every 6 months or so. BM would be bad for SD "image", as SD thinks she is all that and likes everyone else to think so as well. DH and BM signed custody of SD over to Aunt J when SD moved to Aunt J state, but when SD went to college and got all her student loans, she filed as an independent. Not sure you can go back from that at 20 years of age??

Mark my words, SD whole life will be bouncing from one thing to the next. That's how she's ALWAYS been. Just HADDDDD to take gymnastics.. begged DH for the money to pay for it, lasted one month and quit. Just HAAADDDD to play lacrosse. Suckered DH into buying all her gear, lasted 3 practices and quit. Just HAAADDDD to get an apartment with BF, lasted 2 months and now they are done. I could go on and on. But it's because she was allowed to. She's never been told no. The few times DH finally DID start saying no, she just badgered him until he got sick of it and caved or she finds someone else to get what she wants. Well DH is done being played. He's done pretending she's something she's not.

I warned DH back when she was 14 that this is what was going to happen, but he just wanted to yell at me and accuse me of not liking his kid, instead of holding her feet to the fire and giving her consequences for her actions/inactions. I'm not trying to say I told you so, but Jeepers H Christmas! What did he expect??

she's an idiot. She said she wanted to be a CO because her weirdo uncle (BM1's brother) is one. She said "he makes good money and just sits around and does nothing all day" how the man even passed the physical fitness and psychological exams is beyond me. When I say he's a weirdo, he's a weirdo to the nth degree. I'm sure they placed him in a job pushing a button or watching monitors or something because he would without a doubt be eaten alive by the prisoners if he was in with general pop. And the 2 prisons in our area are both Max security.

I also know for a fact that A LOT of people that enter this radiology program end up dropping out because it is not easy. They generally have a graduating class of like 8-10. She won't make it.

But as DH said, it's really nothing I need to worry about, because she is not living with us, we're not funding her latest whim and she's an adult and will have to figure it out and have consequences for her actions for once. I'm just thankful that DH is not letting her manipulate him anymore.

Sorry, I'm just assuming her debt is up in the $20,000 range. No parent cosigned for anything, she applied as an independent. DH is smart enough to know better and BM probably has a credit score of -100.

So then at the moment she is looking at $12,000 in student loan debt.... way more than I'd want to be facing down at 20 years of age with nothing to show for it!

Unfortunately DH knows full well there is no "encouraging" SD. She'll do what she wants. DH NEVER wanted her to get student loans and go to college, because he KNEW this would happen. He very emphatically encouraged her to join the military. He thought the regimen, boundaries, etc would be good character builders for her, then she could get college education for free. but nope, she wanted no part of that. Just haaaaddd to tag after her BF to college. She's always trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. She chose Speech Therapy because that was the only thing university was offering that she was semi interested in. She did not choose Speech Therapy because that's something she's always aspire to do. She's "choosing" prison guard or radiology or whatever her next whim is because those are two things she can do back in our town. She is not choosing these things because they are something she's always wanted to do.

Nope, there is no encouraging with this one. She's going to have to learn the hard way.

This was my question to DH. Her freshman year Aunt J put her in all cake classes....remedial English, theatre, sociology... all kinds of fluff stuff. Aunt J said she wanted to make her first year easy so she wouldn't drop out or do poorly. SD actually did well, was on the dean's list first semester and just short the second semester. She bragged about her grades quite frequently (which is understandable). However, THIS year her classes were a bit tougher.. I know she was complaining about physics and math. ZERO word about grades... but lots of Tweets and pics on FB about partying. So my guess is her grades have tanked. Enough to be kicked out of program? That I don't know. Knowing her that could be a very strong possibility and that is why she is in such a rush to "go home" in her sociopath mind, she's thinking it's better if it looks like SHE made the decision to leave, rather than get kicked out.

Because she has independent status, nobody has access to her grades, so everyone has to take the word of a known liar and master manipulator.