Fortunately for us, BM only mentions the divorce once in a great while, when she wants to say DH is still bitter about the divorce when he pushes back against her demands.

However, she still manages to mention in every email what a terrible father DH is...how the kids don't feel comfortable around them, how he makes the kids feel bad, how he never wants to pay for anything, etc, etc, etc.

She also mentions that DH is out of compliance with the parenting plan...every.single.time...even when she's arguing with him about something she wants that is totally out of compliance with the parenting plan.

She doesn't mention that I'm evil, but does mention, in almost every email, that my expectations for her kids are too high, I just don't like her, I'm not part of the family, etc etc etc. She's upset that I won't be friends with her, but she can't say that in an email, because it would make her look lame. When DH still took her phone calls, she cried to him on the phone about how she couldn't understand why I didn't want to be her friend. She also cried to him at one of the pick-ups for the kids and then cried to MIL about it. Um, there are many reasons, but you crying to your ex husband about how I don't want to be your friend is another one that will be added to the list.

They have been divorced for almost four years, separated for almost five, and DH and I have been together for 3 years, married for 1 year.

I used to wonder how her DH (together with BM for five years) didn't get sick and tired of her griping about DH all day or calling DH every day or texting DH every day. Why doesn't he just say to her, "why do you waste so much energy being angry and bitter about your ex husband. Just move on!" Which is what I want to say to her and what DH has said to her (he basically said to her in one email, you have a new life, go off and enjoy that new life, instead of getting so caught up in telling me how terrible I am). Then again, BM's DH has an ex wife who he tells everyone was a meth addict, even though I don't think she was, so he too is crazy.

It took a solid 2 years of DH being with me for BM to cut that out. She finally found another victim- I mean boyfriend and it became less and less because she "moved on". I don't know how she hid her crazy from him because he's still with her.

I say forward the emails to her BF and friends... }:)

Really, though, that's just annoying. BM this year reminded DH around "their anniversary" that they would have been married 15 years this year had they stayed together.

How touching coming from the woman who left DH for someone else, then proceeded to do everything she could to punish DH with the kids. Yep. He's really feeling sentimental about their marriage.

Because she gets value from reminding him about all his shortcomings. If he is bad she must be good because she cannot qualify herself as a good person based on her own life and choices.

Answers would follow like this:
#1: Yes I know we are divorced. You decided you wanted to sleep with another person outside our marriage which made it null and void.
#2: I am not a bad father. I provide for our children very well. They have a good life. Not doing what you tell me to do makes you a nag and me freaking awesome.
#3: MJL is not evil. She is my wife. Although she is very devilish in the sack. Is that what you mean? When she goes ... oops! TMI!
#4: Your heart breaks when the kids aren't with you? OMG woman, How do you cope when they are in school? How does your BF deal with the eternal weeping and depression because being a mother is the ONLY thing you are capable of doing? So that makes BF pretty redundant and useless. Does he know why you are perpetually practically suicidal when they are away?
#5: We are divorced? When did that happen? Shock Horror! I wondered where you got to....

Yeah I know. He would never send it.

Ya know I really dislike my skids BM, but I’m very thankful she’s supposedly moved on from this stage. She did it in the beginning, but then realized she looked foolish and now tries to act too good/above us.

yep, we get this too. But only if DH is not doing what she wants or if she has a gripe. When she's trying to get her way she leaves it out but the minute he says no or does something she doesnt like then she will throw in all sorts of rubbish. They just never seem to move on do they? Pathetic.

and this is 10 years after she decided to end the marriage. Her decision but she still can't move on and now she has remarried but I don't think it will stop. It's just part of her arsenal of weapons against us. So she thinks.

The BM in our life also bad mouths my SO every chance she gets to the skids and to him. Their marriage ended when she cheated on him and then he had the nerve to move on and had a son with another woman (that didn't work out either obviously) - but she has never gotten over that. According to his sister, the BM used to tell him that he'll never find anyone who will love him and he'll be alone the rest of his life. Well, here I come years later to prove her wrong. She can't stand that he's moved on and is actually happy and doing better than he ever has, financially, emotionally, physically. Every single family member of his that I meet, tells me what a change they've seen in him since we got together - he's happier than they've ever seen him. And he's finally developing that backbone to stand up to her - she HATES that.

This post reminds me of when BM sat in my home arguing with SO. He was asking her to switch to every other weekend Friday night to Sunday night rather than what she wanted which was every Saturday, no overnights.

He said to her most normal families allow overnights with the Dad.
She kept saying to him over and over how theyre not like other families, they have been through so much together. Barf! She wanted SO to have SD every day for a week too but no overnights. She ended up storming out of my house saying to me "Well I don't have to like you!" Just because i said I'm not driving to hers to pick up SD every morning and driving to hers to drop SD off every evening for a week. She can stay overnight or we're not doing it. It would be me as I needed the car to get to work so I'd be doing all the running around.

SO said to me afterwards the only thing he could think of that they've been through together was the divorce.

Thankfully she hasn't said anything of the sort in my presence since! I really feel your pain!! I think they have a hard job letting go even though it was their fault the marriage broke down!

Oh also SO is a bad dad for leaving her alone with a baby. There's far more to it than that but I need to go to a work meeting now

I get called "the new wife" all the time. She mentions divorce, tries to bring up them being together... it's been two years are she literally was cheating day one of the marriage... Narcissists just like to run their mouths... I am a criminal because I am what she is not. And narcissists don't like that. She legit told everyone that she could "get DH back whenever she wanted" but then s*** he's married and doesn't love her. Ah snap... poor baby doesn't control that anymore. She still has the occasional try (hence bringing up the past) and yes t does make me livid... But it is what it is.

You are under the mistaken belief that BM has a brain linked to this reality or planet. If she STILL mentions these events it is clear that she has NOT moved on. She may be incapable of doing so - which means she is emotionally stunted. There is no reasoning with these kind of people because she will ALWAYS believe that you and DH are the source of the misery and unhappiness in her life. She is incapable of taking ANY responsibility for herself.

Your job is to ignore all this kind of crap that she writes or says. If she sends this as written text. Do a cut and paste job of her emails and edit out all the constant BS she spews. DH only addresses relevant issues - or ignores her rants. It is not worth your time to let this kind of thing upset you. It is 8 years or nine years later for you guys too. Time to ignore it and not let it get to you: you control you and your reactions. She is not worthy of your time or reactions.