Not over how skids treated us during the storm
SO decided that my dd, ds and their families would just have to squeeze in at sds house once we got to Ga and saw that the motels he found on line were trash surrounded by trees. When we got to sds house she told my kids and their families they were welcome to stay but it would be tight and asked if they brought pillows and blankets. Apparently sd only had a alloted amount and my children and their families didn't make the cut. Sd told them they could go to Walmart and get some and also get some food and snacks while they were there. She told them this infront of everyone and it was really embarrassing. SO offered to take me, ds and dd and their spouses to Walmart and leave the kids there rather then put them back in the car after a long ride and sd insisted they go with us and she wasn't coy about it either, she flat out said take your children they aren't staying here! When we got back dd wanted to lay her baby down for a nap and sd told her to put the pack in play in the living room where everyone was. Dd said she needed a quiet spot for a nap and sd said all the rooms are taken and you might be more comfortable at a hotel. I could go on and on with all the slights that SO's kids did to my children but the one that really pissesd me off the most was that ds's dog accidentally bit one of sd's teens and the next morning the dog was gone and no one cared to help us find him or knew who let him out or cared he was even gone. Ds has had this dog for 5 years and he loves him like a child. We still haven't found him and I think the SO's kids had something to do with him disappearing! I was planning a big Christmas dinner to include his children and now they won't be invited. I am aghast at their behavior!
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I am pretty sure your SD said
I am pretty sure your SD said that she had a full house and couldn't accomodate your family and all their kids. sounds like her dad over rode her on that. (I would NOT be happy if I were HER). So, she didn't plan on having your brood there (adults and kids in a house she was already using to accommodate OTHER families first). So, she didn't have extra pillows and blankets.. because.. gasp... she didn't expect them to come and was already stretched thin. Oh.. and asking the interlopers to pick up some food so they weren't mooching.. oh and not wanting to babysit a bunch of strange kids?
I'm sorry, you and your family have been over presumptuous and entitled in what you think you should have been given by this woman. She was not obligated to take in your kids and their families. They were not her problem.
Honestly, if the hotels in that town weren't great...they should have driven a little further instead of imposing on a stranger. At this point, your families were out of the danger zone so it's not like she was denying them the last spot in a lifeboat or something.
You are probably not a bad person, but you are wrong to resent her. This was more your SO's fault for over riding her initial objections to hosting these people.
well said.
well said.
oh well now you know what to
oh well now you know what to do if she's in your town..... there's a hotel SD...
but seriously I would never bring my whole family and a dog to some one else house, I will stay in a crappy hotel or even my car before living in a cramped house with people I do not really know nor like
Again I feel no sympathy for
Again I feel no sympathy for you. You assumed in the first place your adult children would be welcomed when you weren't given that invite.
Your mad because after she did allow them to stay she didn't have enough blankets for them too and requested that you guys pick up extra food. YEAH. That's kind of how it goes. She was prepared for a certain amount of people and you bring along all these others. Get over yourself you imposed on her not the other way.
SD refuses to watch the kids. She doesn't have to and considering your attitude I think it was best she didn't because heaven forbid something happen while you were gone.
Honestly I'm wouldn't have let you in the door. I find your entitlement in this situation very telling of your character.
If the big Christmas dinner is at the home you share with your DH then don't be surprised if he get's mad at you for not including his children.
Honestly I think your being petty, entitled, and are in the wrong. You need to grow up and look outside of yourself for a moment. Your ADULT children are more then capable of taking care of themselves. Your DH found them a place to stay BUT OH NO it wasn't good enough for your children so instead you basically bullied your SD into taking everyone in. Now you have the nerve to complain about it.
Wow your still at this "not a
Wow your still at this "not a mom"?
I sure hope you 1. Wrote them a Thank you Note and enclose a gift card for their favorite restaurant say to the sum of $100.00
Personally, I feel bad for
Personally, I feel bad for the poor dog. Super stressful situation the poor thing was forced into. Hopefully the poor thing finds more conscientious owners. You are also lucky they don't press charges for the dog bite.
I also agree with what everyone said. You can't invite a ton of people - regardless of who they are - to someone else's house. To then not pitch in with whatever is needed? Then complain? If I was your SD you couldn't pay me to come to your place for Christmas or anything else.
You owe her a massive apology for your and your family's behavior.
It sounds like it was a scary
It sounds like it was a scary stressful time for everyone involved. It's hard to say what is right or wrong or how hospitable someone should be in an emergency situation. I hope that you and your family can find peace and move forward.
In this particular situation,
In this particular situation, SD was not denying them a safe refuge in a storm. This wasn't like barring the door on a nuclear fallout shelter. SD lived in an area that was likely to be less impacted from the storm.
She had other family who she had already opened her home up for. She was gracious to include her father and his wife by inviting them also.
The new wife took it upon herself to extend that invitation to her TWO ADULT children AND their families that apparently included at least one pet. It wasn't her invitation to extend... it wasn't her hospitality. I'm not sure how you would react if you were already hosting 6 or 8 family members and then were told that you should open up your home to another 8 or 10 people! Now.. disaster? not were they were.. the new wife's adult kids certainly could have made different arrangements in the town. They could have stayed at the lesser hotels or driven further to a place with more selection. They didn't have to descend and then expect the poor SD to figure out sleeping arrangements for another 8 people plus feed them PLUS watch their kids!
Oh.. and there were hotels available in the area and likely a better selection if her kids had just driven a little further.
This was no longer an emergency at this point since the Wife's ADULT children were now outside the danger area of the storm. They most certainly could have gone to a shelter or booked their own hotels. I don't know why they think it was SD's obligation to save them from their own poor planning.
yes, thank you.
yes, thank you.
" SO offered to take me, ds
" SO offered to take me, ds and dd and their spouses to Walmart and leave the kids there rather then put them back in the car after a long ride and sd insisted they go with us and she wasn't coy about it either, she flat out said take your children they aren't staying here!"
*slowly raises hand as guilty* That's exactly what I would have told you all also. How many adults does it take to drive to Walmart and purchase some food, pillows and blankets. I counted six adults (SO, you BS and spouse, and BD and spouse)...the woman had a houseful of people, she doesn't need to be babysitting your grandkids.
Not sure why something such as informing you and your gang that Walmart was available to purchase your needs was considered a "slight' nor made your tag-alongs embarrassed, either. Where exactly did you think you were staying? A 5-star hotel complete with mints on your pillows, a fruit basket and a chilled bottle of bubbly?
Oh well, at least you all made out alright. That's the important thing, right? I mean, you all could have just stayed home and taken your chances or kept on driving on down the road to the next towns until one suited you if the accommodations weren't up to your expectations at SD's. No one forced you to go to nor stay at the SD's home.
I sincerely hope your SO and you have now discussed the necessity of pre-planning and preparedness for any future such events.
This reads of a self entitled
This reads of a self entitled BM who has raised her precious snowflakes to be self entitled and completely incapable of adulating. Beware fair reader!
Why am I getting images of
Why am I getting images of the movie The Purge when I read this?
This reminds me of an incident in my home state, where there was a horrible blizzard, roads were quickly becoming impassible. A family of four went off the road. A truck right behind them stopped and offered to take the two kids to safety, but leave the parents and send help back for them. The parents refused--they wanted to all stay together. It would have been tight in the truck with four, but they could have all fit. Nonetheless, the truck driver took off and finally and barely made it to safety. He told the cops about it, but they said there was no way they could go back and get the family. The roads were now being shut down and blocked off, so no more traffic of any kind could go back on that road, and no one would even be able to make it anyway. The roads were now covered in several feet of snow.
The man driving the truck launched into a tirade, but it did no good. A couple of days later, after the roads were finally able to be cleared, sure enough they found the family of four, all frozen to death in their vehicle.
I'm sure when that truck driver turned away taking all four, the storm wasn't quite yet that bad and he thought it would be no big deal. Just go down the road and get assistance. Sounds simple enough. But, it sure as H- didn't wind up that way. You never know what a storm of any kind will turn into. What is the moral of the story, you decide. Personally, if it were me, if I would have had 50 people trying to cram into my home along with their pets, some of whom I may have never even seen before, during a blowing, intense, blizzard, with warnings that things could get even worse, I would have made it work. But, maybe that is baby boomer thinking vs. millennial thinking. I don't know.
If there was no other
If there was no other option.. then yeah..you have a point but these adults and their families had reservations at hotels in the same local area. They didn't like the hotels... so they could have driven further away from the storm.
They weren't in a wrecked vehicle. They could have gone ahead on their own. They were in no imminent danger (vs stranded in a blizzard on a barely passable road.. hello they had an accident due to bad conditions).
It's not like they were turned away from the only property above flood elevation. They had options.. they chose to take the mooch option and inconvenience everyone.
OP's Husband had already
OP's Husband had already secured lodging in a hotel in the same area as SD's place as the original post stated.
OP states in this one that the hotels that her husband found were "trash surrounded by trees". The indication here being they weren't good enough for her family.
Nope she has to blame SD for not rolling out the silver carpet. She complains that they were asked to provide there own blankets "OH THE HORROR". To go get more food "INSANE". That SD wouldn't watch children that appear to be completely unknown to her "WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD DO THIS."
I'm not sure what group you put yourself in when it comes to "baby boomer thinking vs. millennial thinking" but if we consider the standard thought that millennials are self entitled babies who expect to be given everything then OP fall's into that category more than SD who had already put herself out to her max it seems.
Let me add that OP clearly states that they did end up staying with SD. Her complaint in here is that it was to her liking or standard.
I mean really complaining that you have to go get your own blankets when you show up with an extra 10 people?
There are 6 of us in the
There are 6 of us in the home.
We have 3 queen sized beds and 2 twin beds. We also have a queen sized blow up mattress. Due to my not hoarding extras of stuff, we have 4 sets of queen sized sheets, and 2 sets of twin sheets.
We also have a couple sleeping bags. We also have 2 couches that an adult could sleep on, and 3 couches that kids could sleep on.
That still only sleeps 15 people.... sure, we can stick people on the floor, but we still only have 8 pillows in the house and enough blankets to covers those in beds.
Maybe I'm missing someone... but by my count there is SD, SD's siblings (2, right? with 2 kids each?) and you and DH.
You asked to bring your dd and her 2 kids (2y and 6m - a husband too?) as well as your son and his family (so an extra 4)
She already had 14 people in her house, and you invited 8 more.... that's 22 people in the house....give or take a few people, I went on the assumption everyone has a spouse and 2 kids.
Maybe she only had enough blankets for the beds in her home - and a few extra... which she was already using by hosting her own 2 siblings and their families... and you and your dh... maybe she didn't have enough extra blankets for the 8 extra people you invited... and it is NOT unreasonable for someone hosting an "emergency housing situation" to request that newcomers bring extra food... i mean, it's not one extra person... it's EIGHT.
As for watching the kids.... you said they are 2 years old and 6 months old. She likely had enough on her plate without having to watch a toddler and a baby she didn't know.
Seriously, OP?
Let it go.
It's my understanding that
It's my understanding that this wasn't in the storm zone. You have to keep in mind, those people still had to go to work and school.
The rest of the family should have driven further and gotten a hotel they liked.
Wow, you and your children
Wow, you and your children are rude and pushy. The fact that SD didn't lose her cool, especially when you brought an uninvited dog that bit someone really shows that BM did a great job raising skids. I know it wasn't their father that taught them how to be decent people....hard to teach when you aren't one yourself. You and your children need to learn decency from the skids.
When you get a bill for the
When you get a bill for the medical attention from the dog bite, please realize that the victim had no real ability to stop this. Their insurance will not cover the injury if someone else is obviously at fault. With a dog bite, that is the dog owner.
I am appalled that you would impose on people like this. You should be gracious, invite them to Christmas doinner, and apologize profusely for your poor behavior.
Nope OP wants to pick a fight
Nope OP wants to pick a fight and keep it going.
She's going to put her DH in the middle and make him chose between her or his kid. Hopefully DH tells her to move out but I have a feeling that wont happen and we'll be reading some amazing new post in a couple months.
It's not her DH and they
It's not her DH and they don't live together. He's her boyfriend and they've been dating 2 and 1/2 years.
You're in the wrong. You're
You're in the wrong. You're SD is in the right. There is no argument or discussion to be had on this topic.