Just Dumb Gripes on a Tuesday Night
So, I'm sitting here alone...after having cleaned up the kitchen...alone. Because DH dropped everything to take princess YSD17 up to the store to get some ice cream. We actually HAVE most of a half gallon of ice cream in the freezer...but she has a craving for a specialty item.
Here's how it went down:
DH, YSD and I were all watching a show together. Well...DH and I were watching the show and YSD was staring at her phone and texting, then looking up every once in a while to ask us what she missed. So annoying.
YSD: "Nutty Buddies!!! Ooooh! I want Nutty Buddies!!"
DH: "You've got a car. Go get some."
YSD (best little girl whiny voice): "But Daaaaaddddd...I'm watching this shoooowwww and I've never seen it before and you and TwoOfUs haaavvveeee!!!"
(Of course, she hasn't been "watching the show" at all. But whatever.)
DH: "OK. I'll take you to the store to get some as soon as this episode is over."
She then proceeded to NOT watch the show for another 15 minutes. When the show was over:
YSD: "Daaaad!! Nutty Buddies!!!"
DH immediately took her to the store. I mean, FFS. I did a big shop on Sunday before she showed up here for the week and we have PLENTY of food...both healthy and a few treats. He and I are on this special diet and aren't eating sweets, which YSD knows...so basically the translation to all this is...even though I work and have a car and my own money, I don't want to drive myself and spend my own money...I want YOU to go and spend YOUR money on an extra treat that ONLY I want.
I don't know why this got under my skin so bad just now. I know it's such a little thing. But Good Lord...please let visitation end soon.
**UPDATE: DH and YSD just got back. She didn't get those novelty cone things after all. She got a very expensive pint (like $7+) of high-quality ice cream. So glad I just paid for that for her. Must be nice to be her.
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lol...I would. But the diet.
lol...I would. But the diet. I'm pretty committed to losing some weight and stopping the sugar habit right now.
What kind of princess demands to be driven to the store for a special treat, though? I mean, really. When I was her age, I would NEVER have expected either of my parents to drop everything to run me to the store and buy me some treat. I had wheels and I had money...if I wanted something that hadn't been on my mom's grocery list that week...I got it myself.
Again...I know it's so small but I also think it's incredibly disgusting, entitled behavior.
What kind of princess demands
What kind of princess demands to be driven to the store for a special treat, though?
My DH's sd16
she's BM's feral child
Only she would throw royal fits because dh would toss her a couple of bucks and tell her to take the bike
(the $200 mountain bike i bought her and she refuses to touch) and/or walk the whole TWO BLOCKS to the grocery store
to buy her own damn ice cream
she would get all teary eyed and weepy because daddy told her he wasn't doing for her....
she would try to call bm but bm ignored skids phone calls all the time
quite honestly no means no
Especially when there's food already in the house
You have a DH problem. Your
You have a DH problem. Your SD acts like an entitled princess because Dadddieeeee lets her.
I'd cut off my SO from every penny of my $$$ if I had to deal with that crap. Is it petty, perhaps - BUT when you add up all the small things they make something huge.
I would of told her to eat what is in the freezer or he should of told her that he would take her , but she is buying whatever it is that she wants.
Two - why are you still
Two - why are you still funding all of this?
Simply stop giving them money, DH should loose all his rights to any bank account. Do not even give him gas money.
It's time to teach Daddy how to budget his money and how to pay his bills and survive.
That's such BS, Lashy and I
That's such BS, Lashy and I really wish you would grow the F up. Here is a short list of "treats" that I PERSONALLY have provided this girl in the past year...in addition to covering 85-90% of all food and other household expenses here at our home:
Phone service & a new iPhone...just because. I do phone service for all skids.
A trip the NYC w/her dad for her 16th bday.
Car oil changes, fixing her drivers side mirror
$$$ for college tests and prep books and application fees
Clothes and books for Christmas
I'm sure there have been many other things I'm forgetting. Not to mention the things BM provides with CS...which technically my DH pays but I subsidize by paying most bills and expenses here. These skids are not deprived or "treatless" in any sense at all. If anything, they are spoiled and entitled.
And Brick - there's nothing wrong with going to buy your kid a treat IF you have the money and IF you have the desire. Obviously. My issue is with how SD just demanded a specific treat, even though we already had treats bought for the week, and then wasn't willing to go get it for herself, even though she has a car and $$$. DH was already in his PJ's and settled in for the night for Pete's sake. I find that kind of demanding behavior entitled and disgusting...and if you would oblige a 17 year old kid in this exact scenario...I think that's bad parenting.
Two - ignore Lashy and
Gah. I know! But I just
Gah. I know!
But I just can't stand this "all stepmoms are evil leeches" mentality...it makes me feel ill. I have definitely been a boost for these kids...not just financially but I'm teaching life skills and independence. Everyone kind of implicitly acknowledges this...even their own mom...who has asked me directly on more than one occasion if I would talk to one of the kids about something because they "respect" my insight and opinion. I helped DH talk SS out of joining the army and into this two-year program...and SS has already asked me if we can get coffee and go over his budget together...as well as do some simple meal planning.
My feelings simply DON'T come from a hateful, treat-denying place at all. I get so sick of that shit.
Partly...but I think I'd be
Partly...but I think I'd be upset even if we were both contributing equally. Honestly, this year DH has done a much better job of contributing overall. He's missed two months entirely, has done half contributions two months (aka 1/4 of our needs for the month) and has done 1/2 of our expenses or more for 3 months (one month he got a windfall and did more than half and helped retire a debt)
So...not perfect but picking up significantly from last year. Still find this "jump when SD makes a demand" behavior to be incredibly upsetting and problematic.