A friend who is an international consultant with BA, MBS, MBA and the salary to go with all of that is married to a guy that I've decided must be her expensive hobby.  He stays home and arranges the house improvements, acts as their own personal travel agent by planning their international adventures and provides a concierge service to book fun things to do locally for her to keep her amused.  I once took him out for lunch when DH had to drop out at the last minute due to YSS issues and I would have lost a big deposit at the restaurant.  I was never so bored in my entire life.  It was like the worst work client dinners multiplied by 1000.  At best this might be the same for your YSD.

Your DH needs to stop stressing and definietly not nag YSD too much.  The one thing that would make the relationship stick is for him to say something that makes YSD think that she's staring in her very own Romeo and Juliette true love story.

~snorty~

Yes, it's true. I snorted when I read that.

Hey, Mr. TwoOfUs! If/When YSD makes mistakes, that's on her. She's 21 and going to do what she wants and anything negative you say may very well drive her closer to marrying Larry. Have fun!

What I've learned from my kidults dating lives is to say my piece as a parent then back off.  Pushing, nagging, ripping their intended to shreds will only bring them closer together.  SD may get bored of Mr. Immaturity, lets hope this is the case. Or she may fall into the same dynamic that she's comfortable with, a blended family, and try to fix her Prince Charming.  Either way, there's not much daddy can do besides encouraging and funding iron-clad birth control.  

A similar example of this is when Sophia Richie was dating Scott Disick.  A gorgeous young woman with the world at her feet, dating an older man with kids who had lots of drama with his ex-wife.  Eventually, they broke up, I guess Sophie made him choose between his ex and her, he chose the ex.  My point is that SD will hopefully tire of her new beau's drama and live her own life. If not, there's a whole lotta Instant Karma bout to be served up.   

young adult live and learn. I totally understand all the concerns about this man and I understand expressing the concerns about him to SD, whether it be your DH or both of you. Personally, when I was in college, I dated someone 10 years older than me, had nothing going for him, was basically the bad boy type with tattoos all over and a drummer. My parents found out via facebook, they actually knew him too, and were very against me dating this man. There have been tons of domestic disputes with him and his ex, blah, blah, but you know as a 18 year old, I thought my parents were wrong etc. Long story short, my parents were totally right about him, but them telling me wasn't what made me realize, instead I had to figure it out for myself.

So my advice would be unless things get really serious, be passive about the guy and when people aren't telling her no it is a bad idea, most likely she will find out on her own. Not a fool proof plan and not the same circumstance, but as a young adult on my own, I wasn't being told who I should/shouldn't date.

Spawn 23 or 24 is dating a man with children, she is already pretending to play happy family with him, but I'm not surprised, Spawn takes after Meth Mouth and dates older guys with lots of baggage. She likes to be the arm piece until he finds one younger.