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What a day!

Gerisabel's picture

Submitted by Gerisabel on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 12:10pm

So last night around 11:30pm I told my stepkids that it was bed time daddy was watching tv on the couch. I went to take a quick shower before bed, when I came out my stepkids weren't in bed, they were playing xbox, so I asked them why they werent in bed as I told them they replied daddy said we can play xbox, so I went and told him that I was tired of this, I feel like it rest me authority, its not the first time I tell them to do something and because they dont want to do it, they go and ask daddy to do something else, it really bothers me, makes me feel like my word doesn't matter, so I was pissed off the whole night. today morning he brought breakfast to bed, the reason why he did it its because his friend invite us to eat otherwise he wouldn't care less if i was pissed off, I told him again that it bothers me, I watch them everyday the whole day and if I said it was bed time they didn't have to go and ask him to keep playing, if that is going to be the case, then he need to find someone else to watch them. so we started arguing again and he told me he was leaving and not coming home, it made me so angry that I told him if you are leaving take your kids, because I am not watching them while you are having fun out, so he said too f***g bad, they are your step kids and you have to watch them, I said no, I never told you to get in bed with their mother and make kids you dont want to take care of, so stop saying they are my responsibility. he said you knew I had kids and now you have to take care of them, thats what happens when you marry a man with kids, now f**k off. So I said if you leave, I will leave too so you better take them with you. He got out of the room and told his kids that they better not talk to me ever, because I have them, I hate that they were born, I hate living with them an they are not allowed to talk to me, I came behind him and said I have never in my live said that stop laying to them, but he kept screaming you hate them, you hate that they are born and dont want to watch them, the kids were crying now they dont talk to me, they walk straight. I have been crying because all I wanted have more respect, I take care of them and I want them to listen to me as well as I listen everytime they say they are hungry or they need medicine, I guess I just have to let them do what they want because everytime I say something it just turns against me.

Comments

Gerisabel's picture

Submitted by Gerisabel on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 1:01pm

I do work selling stuff online, I am able to watch my three years old daughter and make decent money, to pay my own bills, but not enough to pay my own place yet.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 12:40pm

No, that's not what you want (your last line).

What you want is a new life.

This man is horrible. Get your ducks in a row and file. By staying you are participating in this man's assault on childhood. He basically loaded his kids into a cannon and aimed them at you, not caring that they themselves would be splattered to bits.

You can't live with that. Ever.

Gerisabel's picture

Submitted by Gerisabel on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 1:09pm

Their mother left them two years ago and nobody knows where she is at, my mother in law doesnt care, doesnt even want them in her house because they make too much noise and mess, my sisters in law are teenagers and dont have time either, their moms family dont even call then just their grandmother(mother's mom) she calls just on christmas and for their birthdays. Basically, I am the only one they have and and I agree with you, he was trying to hurt by saying all that, but I am grown, they are kids and he doesn't see how much it is going to affect them.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 1:56pm

Don't tell yourself they only have you. They don't have you.

You cannot raise them properly and save them. You can only lose yourself. They. are. not. your. kids. That is the lesson that takes so long for sms to learn. Of course we don't think they are "ours" but we can love them and care about them, right? Well, that's the problem. What we don't "get" is that they are not only not ours but that they do belong to someone else.

Your dh has a right to be the *hittiest parent he wants to be. Just like you cannot waltz in to a house six blocks over of a Zoroastrian family and raise their kids to be Greek Orthodox instead because you believe it would be so much better for them, you cannot take over your dh's kids and provide them what you think they need. Last night should have showed you the bald truth of that.

You can make a report to the authorities on your way out the door if you know of any behavior that rises to the level of illegal if you like, but by living in the home you. can. do. nothing.

As for your finances, how were you living before you met this man? Go back to that. Plus, you will be due your share of the marital assets and if that 3 year old is his you will get child support. You can do this.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 3:05pm

Do not rationalize your warped thinking that they have no where to go. Think about it: why can't they go to his moms? Because they are bad? Why? BECAUSE THEIR CRAPTASTIC SON ISNT RAISING THEM! They do have somewhere to go, it's just not ideal. Too bad, so sad. Maybe if their dad cared enough about them to provide a loving stable home with his wife he wouldn't have to worry about them not having anywhere else to go but he'd rather hang with friends.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Submitted by Dontfeedthetrolls on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 1:28pm

He has just shown you what you are to him. You are a babysitter, a maid, a teacher, and everything but a mother or equal partner. I agree you do need to get out of there.

Yes as a stepparent its normally understood that one will help but at the same time they are a partner. They are to be respected and supported. He doesn't get to run around doing whatever he wants and expect you to pick up the slack.

On top of that he has damaged your relationship with them. Possibly to the point it can not be repaired. He has caused serious harm which will impact the children in the long run and should be considered verbal abuse.

Luckyone's picture

Submitted by Luckyone on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 2:02pm

Well you are a lot nicer than I am. I would have slapped his damned face and threw his keys in the grass for him to find on my way out.

That's an awful thing he did, abusive to you and the kids both.

Gerisabel's picture

Submitted by Gerisabel on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 3:06pm

Ive been looking for a job the whole morning, not just to get more money but to get out of the house. He is the father of my daughter so he will have to pay for child support and probably alimony. my family lives overseas and I have nobody to help me. It really hurts me that he doesn't appreciate what I have done for him and his kids, all I wanted was some respect and that makes me a dramatic because that is what I am for him a dramatic.

momof3smof2's picture

Submitted by momof3smof2 on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 2:52pm

Why on Earth are you with this pathetic excuse for a man? A decent human being does not treat his children the way he just did. Forget how he just treated you, what he just did to those kids has zero excuses. It's child abuse, and he doesn't deserve to be a parent. WTF are you still there with him?

Gerisabel's picture

Submitted by Gerisabel on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 3:19pm

I know, he did it to hurt me and make me feel bad, but he didn't see that he was hurting his own kids even more than me. Its not the first time he tells them not to talk to me but they would still talk to me and I talk to them because I am raising them and I love them, but today he told them I hate them and I hate that they were born, even if it was truth that I said that I would never tell a child that. It hurts me that the kids now walk straight or go away when I am around, because of course they believe their daddy.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Tue, 07/04/2017 - 3:01pm

At first when I read your first sentence I thought "well that was your 1st mistake" (telling them to go to bed when their dad is up watching tv), but then your post manifest into this huge falling out. It sounds like your husband is using you as his free nanny. It sounds as though you reminding him of his responsibilities to his children makes him guilty-angry where he starts being aggressive and lashes out. Him telling the kids you hate them was a manipulation tactic for you to fall back into the place he's created for you (nanny). What he wants is you to feel guilty for not wanting to take care of his kids for him and he wanted to get back at you for reminding him it's actually his job by telling his kids to ignore you thus making it payback for you. He's a Man-Child who's throwing a tantrum because Wife-Nanny won't watch the kids so he can go play down the street with his friends.

Well the last I checked every child has a mother so if I were you, I would have dropped those kids off to his mother (if their own mother isn't an option) and went home to pack my stuff to move to my mothers. People will keep using you until you either end it or they find a new source. It's time for you to head out the door.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Wed, 07/05/2017 - 2:40am

Hon - get out of there, he's not looking for a wife, he married you to be maid, baby sitter and bed warmer... not because he loves you and he does not care if you are a good awesome lady... which you are for taking care of his brats.

Simply pack and go... you owe him nothing,