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Pity party for one, anyone care to join?

AJanie's picture

My mom just told me her and my dad made the decision to retire full time to Florida in 2018. They're currently part timers who are there a few months each winter.

It makes me sad as hell because she asked if I would ever consider relocating and of course DH would never do that to the skids. For better or worse I do care about my parents very much. Granted, they can drive me insane. If I ever have a child I would want to be a driving distance from my parents but now that probably will not happen. What's worse is I am sure my sister and her (kid free) man will relocate too.

I have been doing SO WELL and now I feel the resentment creeping back in.

I know it would hurt the kids and I truly would never want them to feel abandoned. Ever. I just feel like having a pity party of one for today. Just to mourn my feelings. I hate winters here. I suppose I would miss fall, I enjoy the scenery and crisp air, but once November ends I despise it. I belong in the warmth.

DH said maybe a few years from now when they are a bit older we could consider it. I highly doubt that will happen, probably just said to placate me.

Comments

Ninji's picture

When SS turned 8, my DH started talking about how in 10 years everything was going to be about us. Kids will be grown.

Well SS is now 11 and DH still says 10 years. Steplife sucks sometimes.

SM12's picture

OMG!!! I hear the same crap out of DH. "In 8 years we can move away babe!" WTF ever!! My BS is launched...I can do what the hell I want NOW....not 8 years from now.
I am on the fast track to home improvements to get my house ready to sell so I can make enough to pay cash for a smaller house. THEN I will be buying a second home somewhere warm and sunny. DH can either join me, or get an apartment and stay here while I become a snow bird....

ESMOD's picture

I have a house for sale in FL.. not far from Tampa.. under 150k }:)

You know you want to move..lol

I understand 100% where you are coming from. I would love to live somewhere different, but I have a great job and am not near enough to retirement. So, I live where I do. Sometimes I pity me too.

AJanie's picture

What a price! So much cheaper to live down south.

My parents will be in Naples. I fly into Tampa sometimes when I go down...

I think I would simply love it there. I have been a New England girl my whole life and feel like the change would be amazing for us... then again, it is hard to ever predict anything with any sort of accuracy. lol.

ESMOD's picture

I know.. it is inexpensive there. The house is actually on a canal that has access to the gulf of mexico.. Where else can you find waterfront like that?

But, also one of the downsides is that there are a lot of retired people willing to work for not a lot of money.. so the low skilled jobs are not really great paying jobs. But, if you want work, it's there. My DH was offered a job installing sunrooms when we were down there the other month. He just was buying some trim..lol.

AJanie's picture

Maybe one day...I am sure we could find something for work...

for now I will stay in my tiny state... freezing and sliding on ice from December through March haha.

BethAnne's picture

Accepting that our lives will not turn out exactly the way we imagined can be hard and will take time. That is not to say that this new alternate future that presents itself is any worse than what you imagined or that the two futures might not converge somewhere down the road but accepting it can be difficult. Be easy on yourself.

Thumper's picture

NAPLES wonderful area!!!

Good for your parents. Thank goodness they are both healthy enough to make this change.

Cool for you too...now you have a great place to visit during those AWFUL winters in New England.

I am sorry your hurting. Sad