Last straw
DH & I got into a big argument Friday, Saturday pretty much didn't speak and yesterday we kind of made up and were fine. I had deleted facebook but got it back a few weeks ago, against my better judgment. I noticed yesterday AM a post to DH from a friend... so as of yesterday DH and I were "friends." Then this morning I sign on and notice my own husband blocked me. :?
I know how childish this sounds... but this is the kind of bullshit I deal with. Then I texted him asking why I would be blocked and no answer. I call and he hits ignore. I know his mindset is "I don't have time for this BS right now." When it comes to my feelings, it is always BS.
I feel like he has the upper hand and can be immature and dismissive of me and knows it will anger me... but doesn't care. I hate being ignored and it always causes me to fly off the handle, call repeatedly, demand his attention. Then I hate myself for appearing weak and needy. Well, I am fucking tired of trying to get someone I love to give a shit about my feelings.
I don't know why I play into his games. I really don't. I know I am a great person and he is lucky to have me. I am tired, Steptalkers. I don't want him to have this power over my emotions anymore. I am literally at the end of my rope.
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No idea. Probably some
No idea. Probably some passive aggressive cry for attention. Then when I get upset about it, I am the bad guy. He wonders why I say terrible things when I am angry. I HATE being ignored...
We did some counseling (a few
We did some counseling (a few months), the counselor was nice but not really helpful. I don't even know if I want to go back. I am just so mad right now. I don't get what is the point of freezing out someone you love, and I also don't get why I let it shake me up so badly. It just shouldn't be this hard...
Some men like to test the
Some men like to test the woman they are with. They do this because they are insecure themselves so they want to see how far they can "push the envelope" before said woman walks out. They know that they are imperfect despite the bravado and swaggering; they know that the woman they're with is worthy of much more and so they try and alienate, freeze out or bully.
Especially true of "alpha" males.
Makes me sad. I think he is
Makes me sad. I think he is insecure. It is so disheartening to think he may never be capable of actually loving me.
I think it should say some
I think it should say some people like to test their relationships they are in. Woman can be as bad as men are.
the last person on earth can
the last person on earth can be SO and I will still not add him to my facebook...... hell if he wants to show me a photo or talk to me he can do this irl.....
I simply ignore him when he goes off about my facebook, I'm an adult and I have the right to keep my stuff secret and I have the right to choose whom I will befriend and whom not.... SO and Aergia nope never ever, both are blocked.
If you call him and he hits ignore, don't let it get to you, simply go on with life, and teach yourself not to run if he calls..... might sound tit for tat... but it's not, simply show him you do not need him.
Being ignored is a trigger
Being ignored is a trigger for me. My sister always tells me I need to learn how to get on with my day and not fly off the handle. It has always been a challenge for me. It isn't so much that I give a shit what he does on facebook, it is the act of randomly deleting me that boggles my mind.
He is immature and acting
He is immature and acting like a teen girl who had a fight with her BFF..... he also knows it will get you off the rails.....
you know you hate being ignored lol... so does he..... time for you to start working on that little thing....
fine he ignores you let it go, not worth getting your temper into red about it.... find something else to do...
You're right, Acra. I let
You're right, Acra. I let these things impact me too much. I need to stop giving him (and others) the power to effect me emotionally.
so what will you do next time
so what will you do next time he ignores you mmmm...
download candy crush or farm animals, soduku, world build anything.... and if he ignores you play a game on your phone....... it will be hard at first but belief me it will help in the long run and get your mind off being ignored...
I don't have my DH added to
I don't have my DH added to my facebook either. I don't want to see his stupid political post.
It has never crossed my mind
It has never crossed my mind to block my wife from facebook. This is emotional abuse and you deserve better. I hope you find the strength to move on.
my SO doesn't have facebook,
my SO doesn't have facebook, but he did ask me to add some of his family to mine so we can exchange pics etc... every now and then one of SO's sisters will send some messages or whatever and we chit chat...
I really don't put much up on facebook, it's pretty much just sharing of funny memes... I have nothing to hide... but I think that even if SO did have an account, I don't think I'd have him on there
Nope I even refused to do
Nope I even refused to do that...... adding friends and family SO wanted me to add... I simply said - get your own FB...
It is just the passive
It is just the passive agressive-ness of it all. I don't care if he doesn't add me. Nothing he says is that profound that I give a shit to see it. I just don't understand what drove him to randomly block his wife AFTER a fight was resolved. Weird.
As you know, I was married to
As you know, I was married to an addict. He was also a narcissist. The emotional games he played really took a toll on me. It eventually got the point where I was nuts. I would call him constantly, analyze everything, and get so upset when he would ignore me. It was all a game to him and I was the perfect pawn. It made him feel good to know that he had absolute control over my emotions and self worth. But I finally got wise to the games and little by little, I just stopped caring. I stopped caring if he came home. I stopped caring if he talked to me. I stopped caring if he even existed. I just reached a point where I couldn't care anymore about someone that cared so little for me.
You'll reach the point where you're tired of the games. Tired of being the rock. Tired of being the only voice of sanity and reason. It's an unfair partnership.
I've been telling you for about a year now that he isn't worth this.
I don't think anyone is worth
I don't think anyone is worth my peace of mind and when I think about all the times I have let him (and other men) drive me to the point of insanity... I shudder. Of course with addiction I know I will always overanalyze everything. Perfect example: the other night he took a $100 bill out of the spot we keep cash and left to go down to his home town. He "needed a part for his car." So, when he came home I automatically flew off the handle accusing him of blowing the money, said some harsh things. He calmly pulled the $100 out of his pocket. It upset me almost as much as if he HAD spent it, just how hard of a time I have trusting. But that is to be expected, really. I don't want to be so off balance within myself that I let someone get me so worked up. This has always been a struggle.
Do like Acra says and do not
Do like Acra says and do not let it get to you. Do not even let on to him that you noticed he blocked you or whatever it is. Block him if it makes you feel better. Then he will notice when he unblocks you. If he requests to be your friend again ignore it.
Facebook is not real life.
Perhaps go to counseling for yourself only to work your own reactions when you feel ignored. Your feelings are not wrong. Finding a way to process them and dwell in a place of calm assurance and your own power will help you in dealing with the people in your life.
Be the change you want to see in your world. This is not just a saying. Think about it. Be how you want to be. Do not let the actions of others dictate your reactions.
Breathe, think, act.
Find your own balance and calm place. Invite others in to share. Do not dwell in their frenzied places and angst.
Create the world you want for your life.
Yes changing myself is
Yes changing myself is important to me. And my hardest battle.