You are here

Dh came home with a tattoo

Taris's picture

Submitted by Taris on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 5:57am

Dh came home last night from staying with sd. One of her friends came to stay with her for a few days so dh decided to bless us with his presence. How nice right? He got a flipping tattoo over his heart about the size if 3 fists of an angel and the date the baby died with a poem that strolls down to his stomach. It looks f@cking awful!!! I am not a tattoo person and neither was he. It's not attractive at all. He said sd got an angel over her heart and then she picked this out for him. I am so disgusted. I loved dhs body and he has really worked to keep a 6 pack and stay in shape. I can't imagine wanting to have sex with him now. I can't believe he did this!

Comments

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 6:11am

Have you seen the damage done or the effectiveness of tattoo removal? Even if it was taken off it would leave scarring or residue of the tattoo which will always be a reminder to OP. So it cannot be undone.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 6:20am

EMOD, I find this whole scenario surreal. Having said that, if my husband came home with a tattoo of his unborn grandchild all over his chest from any of our children he would be looking for a new place to sleep. I would not be here venting.

If my husband got a new tattoo of anything without at least telling me before it's done, he'd be lucky if I let him sleep in the landlords wooden, broken dog house with a pet blanket for comfort. I love my husbands body and his tattoos. I actually don't mind him getting more. But to make that decision with our finances without at least touching base with me would be seriously crossing a line. The same applies to me btw. I wouldn't do anything to alter my body/ hair without telling my husband first.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 7:06am

Oh.. I always tease my DH that I am going to get my hair dyed red when I have my hair appts. He hates red hair..lol.

I agree, major purchases or image modifications that are permanent need to at least not be a surprise.

I'm not talking a tiny butterfly on your hip.. this sounds like my EX husband's rabid tomato tattoo (was supposed to be a GNR album cover but didn't turn our like that .. before I met him)

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 6:12am

Ugh... I would be looking up laser tattoo removal. Provide him two numbers. The first will be the removal shop.. the second the divorce lawyer. He picks.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 8:08am

THIS!!!

I don't know that I could stay married to a man who was this emotionally involved with his daughter. It's a total infidelity.

Ewwww.
Ick.
So gross.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 6:39am

That is very weird. But when you tell him what a dickhead he has been ask him what about when he DOES become a grandfather? His future grandchildren will see a meandering tribute to a sibling that they never knew. They will always be 2nd place now.

If my DH did this I would be telling him our days are numbered. Yes he will always have his daughter however she will NEVER take care of him like you do.

secret's picture

Submitted by secret on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 7:02am

In the end, it's his body... but I get where you're coming from. My SO has a tat on his forearm with his kid's name, birthday etc... fine. He wants to get a tat of the kid's face.... on his chest... which would be his choice... but when I mentioned whether he had considered that I'd be the one seeing his son's face every time we got intimate, he reconsidered.

Also, I've gone through tattoo removal. It sucks.

Im sorry he did that.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 9:57am

I would ask him to send you a picture via text.

When he does and asks why you wanted to see it. Tell him the laser removal tech couldn't give you an estimate until he saw it. }:)

hurtingbad.13's picture

Submitted by hurtingbad.13 on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 7:26am

She has too much power over him in MHO. I would wonder what is coming next? As you, tired of emotional manipulators. Sounds like the situation. Believe me when I say that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

TwelveLongYrs79's picture

Submitted by TwelveLongYrs79 on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 7:49am

Why are you still with him again? This would be it for me. The beginning of the pregnancy and his actions would have been it for me. The whole situation is very sad, but you have to draw a line in the sand here.
Many people have told you time and time again to get an exit strategy going...I suggest you heed the advice and just do it.

This is too much.

AlreadyGone's picture

Submitted by AlreadyGone on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 9:44am

This post sent my creep meter in to overdrive. His kidult is writing on YOUR walls with permanent marker, and your DH seems just fine with it. Creepy! :sick:

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 11:24am

Because the $37 Scout saga played mostly out? Now up, men on sleeping on the couch over vacation and finances along and a man with the wall of words down his chest.

Next! At least the topics are an assortment of topics. There's that *shrugs*

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 9:51am

I suppose a tiny little angel on his back shoulder wasn't enough?

I don't like tats, except for some that are small and discrete ...your guy got a huge drawing and a wall of words.

It's done now. I doubt your husband gives a hoot what you think of it or he would have asked your opinion per tat.

So what are you going to do now?

Just J's picture

Submitted by Just J on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 10:43am

Wow. This is so over the top! I am a tattoo person and I had a miscarriage in 2007, and I would NEVER do this! I know everyone is different but I didn't want a constant, permanent reminder of what happened. And that was MY OWN baby! I also can't imagine my dad being that emotionally attached like that. It's actually creepy. And I can't imagine my DH going out and getting any tattoo, much less a psycho one like that, without telling me. Not that he needs my permission but it is partly about the expense (something that big was probably a few hundred dollars) and partly about me having to look at that all the time. In your situation, this would probably be the proverbial straw for me. This is a bad situation, I'm so sorry!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 12:21pm

Ditto, Just J. I miscarried at 5 months. That day is still carved in my heart and I certainly do not need any additional reminders. I threw away the baby book my sister gave me and got rid of all baby things in the house.

A tattoo after the loss of an infant or child would make a lot more sense.

classyNJ's picture

Submitted by classyNJ on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 11:45am

Try this. My artist uses this method and I have not seen evidence of any scarring on the two clients I have seen this done on.

tatt2away.com

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 11:51am

I firmly believe that once he married DH's body was no longer his alone to with as he pleases just as your body was no longer yours alone to do with as you please.

My SIL has consistently pressured DW to get a tattoo with her. My DW has amazing body and incredible skin. She is not a tattoo person and neither am I.

Prior to one long ago trip to SpermLand to visit her family the tattoo pressure was at a peak. DW asked me if I thought she should give in and get a tattoo with her sister. I was pretty direct. "That is of course your decision but if you do.... don't bother coming home."

She has teased me about that comment for a decade or more. But... my statement stands and she knows it.

I would not disrespect her by getting a tattoo without her agreement. Neither will I tolerate that disrespect from her.

Now many, many years later SIL and her DH look like cheap trailer trash with their very cheap art work. I have no issue with tattoos on other people but for God sake if someone is going to get a Tattoo then make damned sure the artist they choose is the best of the best of the best and the piece is of impeccable quality and class.

Please!

If a person can't afford to pay their bills and feed their children then they can't afford a decent tattoo IMHO.