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So glad this yr is ending

Taris's picture

I haven't posted in forever but i read every day. I'm so ready to end 2017 like the bad nightmare it was. 2018 will be better because i refuse to live another yr like 2017. Sd is happily living her life, she is back in school in her own place with a boyfriend. She is doing really good and she is nice to me but i struggle to forgive her for dhs tattoo. She has no idea how pissed i am at that!! I can't have sex with dh unless the lights are off or he is wearing a t-shirt. Its disgusting to me and it makes him disgusting to me. How sad is that? Dh doesn't get it and when i talk to him about it he gets offended because it's in honor of his grandchild. The man introduces himself as pop pop now to everyone. Its like he turned old. He no longer wants to do things with my kids and acts like a damn grandpa!! Which is why i left him this week. I just can't get past the anger and resentment of this yr. To everyone thinking about leaving, just do it! I feel relief and a new passion for life.

Comments

Veritas's picture

Glad to hear you are doing whatever it is you need to do in order to take care of yourself :)....this is a big life change, and as such, can take a toll on you.

What was your DH's response to you leaving?

Roll with the good and bad emotions. I am sure you didn't want the situation to have to get to this point yet you took the steps necessary to ensure your own peace of mind....hugs to you and wishes for a fabulous New Year!

Taris's picture

He was passive aggressive and tried to gaslight me into thinking he wanted me to leave. He even packed up my kids rooms and offered to drive their stuff to our new place. He doesn't want to show me that my leaving hurts him but I know it does.

oneoffour's picture

I m sorry it has come to this. I hate seeing marriages fail, call me a hapless romantic. But I am also a realist and this situation was doomed back in February.
STBX is acting like an overbearing Mother In Law. And you are going to have a much better life without living with this silly man who values himself more as an extension of his daughter than as his own person.
The sad thing is one day his daughter may have other children. What then? Is there an inch of skin left for his future living grandchildren or don't they 'count' as important? If my grandfather had some sappy massive tattoo in memory of my mothers long ago miscarriage I would think he is more concerned with the past rather than me and my siblings. And what kind of woman with a modicum of sense would see this as attractive?
Move on with your life. It will only get better after this total change in his personality without a thought for how it will affect his marriage. Well his marriage to you, not his marriage and emeshment with his daughter.

twoviewpoints's picture

You really need to put the anger/frustration where it belongs... your DH. He's the one who went batsh*t nuts over his daughter's pregnancy and loss of child. And the young lady didn't tie the old f(rt down holding a gun to his head to get the ridiculous tattoo. Nope, your DH did exactly as he wanted. You have troubles 'forgiving' her for the tattoo, but still want the idiot who got and wears the tattoo.

Anyway, glad to hear the SD is back on track. Hopefully she's taking birth control until she is really ready to try again and is in a serious long term relationship with of love and happiness.

Men can be so stupid.

May your new year find you peace ... wherever and however you must do to find it. Don't be afraid to seek whatever it is you need and want out of life.

DaniellaR's picture

Glad to see you posted an update! Good for you for getting out of that situation. I couldn't be intimate with a man with a chest tattoo like that. Nope, that would totally kill the mood. Not to mention all the other craziness and disrespect your DH has thrown at you. Enjoy your freedom and putting SD away as a distant memory.