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Adult Step Children Articles

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 7:27am

I am trying to share articles with my husband regarding adult step children, more specifically adult female. If you have any you think are worth sharing, I would appreciate any links.

Thank you in advance...

Comments

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 10:19am

Thank you for your honesty Clever, your husband is fortunate that you are grounded in reality.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 7:38am

I will be honest here. What are you trying to accomplish with the articles? Are you trying to point out how horrible she is? I honestly am not sure it will really make any difference to him whether he reads an article about some other women's poor behavior.

If you have specific grievances with him and his boundaries with his child, dealing with those specifically without making it personal may be a better approach.

Trying to convince daddeee that his little girl is defective.. not going to sell well.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 10:17am

It is NOT daddeee's girl I blame... I would like to know if there is current literature to review to glean a better understanding of life.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 10:27am

Is this something your DH wants.. or you want for your DH. There is a difference.

It's great if he wants to gain more perspectives. Shoot, for that, give him this site to read..lol.

If you want him to read in hopes that he will have a lightbulb moment about something, I think the odds are much slimmer that it will accomplish that goal.

Or.. what does he want to get from the articles

Or what do YOU want him to get from the articles.

"a better understanding of life".. not really sure what that means.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 11:35am

Hi ESMOD, it is a stretch to want anything, I get it and I am past that really.....oh, there will be no lightbulb moment, I completely agree with you lady.

But if there is good literature out there to at least consider, I would say it is worth both of us reading. He is clueless and is happy to remain that way, yet he has given up so much, as a result. I am not expecting anything to change anything, but insights by experts could never hurt either of us...

SacrificialLamb's picture

Submitted by SacrificialLamb on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 9:24am

My DH read Stepmonster. I think he even finished it. I positioned it as "Step life is hard for everyone; maybe this will help us to understand everyone's perspectives." It did open his eyes to an extent (as it did mine), about everyone's feelings. Jealous kids since resources were now shared, SM stepping into an unnatural situation and wanting approval and not getting it, and dad feeling pulled in multiple directions. And I liked that there was a section on father's and what drove their feelings and actions.

DH told me later he suggested to OSD that she read it, but she was not interested. Not surprised, only her perspective is interesting to her.

I'd like to know of some articles too, just for my own understanding. There would have to be drastic changes for me to change my mind about disengaging, but anything that gives insight into step dynamics is helpful for me letting go of some of the feelings of betrayal I have had.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 10:12am

Thanks Sacrificial...It looks like there would be more literature out there regarding this topic, given all of us on the site-if nothing else, huh?

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 11:39am

Thank you Dancing...

How do you argue with the experts, right? I wish there were more out there, studies, current literature, etc. on this topic; not only for me, but all of us in search of insight.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 1:40pm

This is interesting, and has given me an idea - SD17 is having an 18th bday soon, in a few weeks. She has indicated an interest in taking courses to obtain degree in psychology. I can just say - "since you are interested in psychology, you might be interested in how someone else feels, rather than just your own perspective, as regards what you have gone through with your parents separation, divorce and the different relationships and feelings of the 'steps'."

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 03/15/2017 - 1:51pm

Right CLove, seems she might be interested in learning more about this topic, given her expressed interest...LOL

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/16/2017 - 1:39am

I was trying to get something and stumbled onto this.... read it,

it's not to share with DH, it's for you to read and see where SD and Dad are and why.... maybe you will understand their relationship better, after reading this I can truly say SO was/is an absent father, but that I've known for years..
https://holidappy.com/holidays/10-Reasons-Fathers-are-so-Important-to-th...

https://www.psychologies.co.uk/test-fatherdaughter-relationship
do this test on how you think SD would do it or what you see between DH and SD.... hahahaha spot on, my results was Aergia to the T