DH is all over the place and I don't like surprises! UGH
You may remember my recent post about DH offering to give SD19 one of our vehicles, while I was OK with that, as long as she pays insurance, I was NOT OK with us spending $600.00 to replace the bumpers because they were rusting. I told DH that was ridiculous for us to blow that money on getting the bumpers replaced, when we bought new cars last year because we were tired of dumping money into the old ones. So WTF are we still dumping money into the old ones??? Then DH mentions last week that he told SS18 that if he got his act together that HE could have the same vehicle that he told me he told SD she could have??? Then last night he tells me that I was right about selling the vehicle and he sold the vehicle. OMFeckingG?! I can't keep up.
So I'm laying on the couch, feeling all giddy about the fact that DH actually listened to me and sold the vehicle AND because that means that SD has no reason to come home now and I don't have to worry about all this insurance crap! THEN DH tells me that since he decided to sell the 4 Runner, that he told SD that she could have our extra 3rd vehicle, which we actually use! (Granted it's more of a luxury to have it.. we really don't NEED it, but it is nice to have an extra car to drive when we don't want to get one of the new ones dirty, or salty, or too many miles etc) So DH says he told SD that she could have that car, but that he will not be giving her $150.00 a month any more, and that will be her "payment" for the car. So Daizy, what do you think about that? I told him that it apparently doesn't matter what I think about anything, since he has already had these discussions and made these plans. Then of course he back pedals and says "Oh no, it DOES matter and I told SD that I would have to discuss everything with you first" Harde har har DH. I was not born last night.
So THEN he says, "OR, maybe it'd be better for SD to just get a newer car.. like lease it or take out a loan." I said, well she's not going to be able to get a loan on her own, she'd have to have a cosigner. DH says, "Oh, I'd cosign for her" UGH... the man has officially lost his fecking mind. I've decided I'm going to stop stressing about this shit, because a. he changes his mind so much and b. he is putting the cart before the horse... and I told him that. SD doesn't even have a DL yet!! Nobody has checked on insurance, (SD told DH that her boyfriend pays about $150.00 a month, so they both just assume that's what she'll pay), and c. because SD still has a few months to do her usual routine of doing something boneheaded that pisses DH off and he tells her she isn't getting shit.
I seriously wish my DH didn't have to procreate with not one, but two worthless piece of shit women, who do NOTHING for skids.. because of course DH will just do it. I mean why do we even HAVE to get either one of these losers a car??????? Oh that's right, because nobody else is going to do it! 
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Ewwww I got all stressed out
Ewwww I got all stressed out reading that.
IKR? DH DOES tend to do this
IKR? DH DOES tend to do this with other things as well. He'll get a hair up his butt and decide he's going to start a business and he'll talk about it for a couple of weeks, be all gung ho.. then change his mind and decide that's dumb and then on to the next bright idea... so it's really not anything new, I've learned to just listen and try to roll with it.
BUT when it involves skids and putting them on our insurance policy or cosigning loans, THEN I tend to get a little edgy!!
Does your DH have ADD/ADHD?
Does your DH have ADD/ADHD? Has he had a TBI? Or maybe some sort of neuroprocessing problem?
I would find all this impulsive back and forthing very stressful, Daisy.
Sell the damn third car. If he can sell the 4 runner, you can sell one, too. Just put it on craigslist, and be done with it. When he whines, tell him you couldn't take the stress any longer.
He had a TBI and Post
He had a TBI and Post Concussion Syndrome. I've learned to deal with him, I can generally tell when he's on a tangent or some sort and I know it will blow over. Generally the tangents DON'T involve skids though.. THAT's when I get stressed!
oh and great minds think
oh and great minds think alike!! I was just thinking this morning.. I'm going to start driving that 3rd car all the fecking time now. Maybe the transmission or engine will blow or it will get vandalized in the hood where I work, and then SD will be SOL.
This is what I hate, and I
This is what I hate, and I JUST told DH this when he called a few minutes ago. He said he thought about it and he doesn't feel bad about not giving the vehicle to SS because SS 18 and has made no effort to get a job, is failing school, and SS hardly even contacts him. I said "Exactly, the only time you hear from SS is when it close to Christmas or Birthday, other than that it's you trying to track him down" SS claims he doesn't have a phone.... even if that is true, he could always use BMs phone, his stepfathers phone, his girlfriends phone, his friends phone etc. If an 18 year old wants to make a call, they'll figure out a way. But no, that's not important to him, unless it's a gift giving occasion.
And honestly the same goes for SD. The only reason she has been in contact with DH recently, is because she thinks she's getting a car, so she's all up in his grill to make sure that happens.
I can't stand to watch this shit show.
ack! First issue... 3rd
ack!
First issue... 3rd car.
No DH. we need to use that car. I wouldn't mind if she needed to borrow it for a day or so, but I am NOT for giving her the car full time. I use it, you use it. We need to have a backup. Giving her that car is not an option.
Second issue.. cosigning.
DH, are you prepared to pay these payments and can you afford to pay these payments and still cover your share of household obligations? If not, NO, you do not cosign for a car for her.
(if he does happen to have some savings, perhaps he can shop for a very used car and consider not paying the 150/month as pmts for that to him. We just found a low mileage ford escape that my YSD bought for only 4K. Her other car she helped pay for was only $1600. She actually did get a loan for the 4K car and pays about 125/month.. but she has a decent job and no bad credit) Both cars are older.. but they were in good running condition
Third issue
Telling her that you will have to "check with me" is basically throwing ME under the bus with her because she will know that I was the one that vetoed these plans. Next time, talk to me before you promise princess something Mkay?
First issue... 3rd car. No
First issue... 3rd car.
No DH. we need to use that car. I wouldn't mind if she needed to borrow it for a day or so, but I am NOT for giving her the car full time. I use it, you use it. We need to have a backup. Giving her that car is not an option.
Addressed. (she goes to college in another state, so there is no borrowing) I did tell him though that we both use that car and it's nice to have and he agreed. So I'll just keep putting that out that every now and then and hopefully he'll come to his senses.
Second issue.. cosigning.
DH, are you prepared to pay these payments and can you afford to pay these payments and still cover your share of household obligations? If not, NO, you do not cosign for a car for her.
Addressed. He said if she didn't pay, he would just take the car and we'd sell it or keep it. No it would not hurt us terribly financially, it would just be a PITA.
and throwing me under the bus? Meh. I don't care anymore. Everything gets blamed on me anyway, so what's one more thing?
Good grief, that's
Good grief, that's exhausting.