Ah so your son was making coffee right outside her room because he knew that being pregnant and smelling coffee would make her sick. As for the noisy one... well he should know that noise makes a pregnant woman vomit. (Big Arse Eye Roll x2)

I would take the boys to a hotel for a few nights. Or tell DH that being pregnant isn't a fatal illness and in 7 months this will all be over one way or another. Either he will back off or you will be gone. Is he really willing to lose his wife over his daughters bad choices?

Oh man.

My OSD who just turned 20 recently moved in with her boyfriend despite my DH's objections. Now...they are seriously talking marriage, and we both really like the guy...so there's some comfort there.

Not sure how it came up. We were talking about DH starting over with an "ours" baby or perhaps fostering or adopting. I said that I didn't want him to have to start over if he was ready to be done. He said: "Never. I would love more kids of my own. The only thing I am NOT willing to do is raise grandkids...so I hope DD realizes that...."

I must say, I breathed a huge sigh of relief hearing him say those words out loud...

It sounds like you are going to have to make a decision. Your husband is showing you where his priorities lie.

I understand that he loves his daughter but to expect the entire household to bow down to her because she got herself knocked up, well, I just don't get it.

My SD got pregnant at 17 and my DH was upset and worried about her future. He was not overjoyed and putting her on a pedestal, kicking everybody else in his life to the curb. And thank God, she did not move in with us!

In general, I see that your DH is not handling this right.

But.... You said your son was being loud getting up. Just how loud is loud? I was taught to be considerate of others in the home. I am not saying that he has to "tip toe".. but if others in the house are sleeping I was taught to be quiet.. have tv at low volume etc...

From the post, I can't see how out of line.. or not out of line the kid was.

why isn't princess getting up at a normal, morning hour? Does she not have work or school to attend.

If my DH spoke to a child of mine the ways yours did, he would be gone.

What is going to happen when there is a newborn in the house? Will everyone be expected to tiptoe around all day and night?

If I was you, I would have already left.

So I got pregnant at 16. My parents helped me. So I am not anti a parent helping a teen out who is pregnant. You know what they didn't do? Make any special accommodations for me. The food in the house? The same. People's routines? The same. I have no idea what I wore for maternity clothes but I can guarantee there wasn't a fancy new maternity wardrobe. Your husband is being ridiculous.

But I think focusing on this is missing the larger picture. Her being pregnant is barely one iota of your problems. The real issue is what happens when the baby comes. There's a good chance your SD will want to be out Friday and Saturday nights and use your DH for babysitting. From what you're saying I'm guessing DH will be 100% fine with this. She may also use him for a lot of other childcare. Whether you lift a finger to help or not, expect DH's time to be taken up with the grandbaby. Gone are your carefree almost empty nester weekends, etc.

I can't imagine being in this situation as a stepmom. It's almost like a brand new stepbaby.

*yawn*
You have been told repeatedly what to expect from this situation, both from the helpful advice on this site and your ignoramus dh. What would ever compel you to stay?! I would sooner drink razor blades then reduce myself and my children to this level of "crazy" but hey... It's your story, you spin it however you like.

Counseling... stat.

I don't understand how this is an issue still. The minute my DF made a decision like this, without even a rational discussion? I'd be out.

WE all told you this is what's going to happen.

I agree with the poster that said, sit SD and DH down and say, this is how it is in this house, we are not going to change, either you fit in or you eff off...

but seriously in your shoes, I would've looked for a place for me and my children and move out...

no one but no one will tell my kid he's not allowed to have his morning coffee or make a noise while getting ready for the day..

Time to buy some coffee scented candles and light up the house with the glorious smells of freshly brewing coffee. Only cook mocha and coffee flavored dishes for a few weeks. See if her residence changes.

Have fun!!!! }:)

Lots of advice.

I think you are in for a long battle because it is going to be his responsibility to raise the baby. It is going to breed more resentment and anguish. I would talk to him, and let him know that she is a member of the family not the only one. If he doesn't accept it, move on. Maybe Even a short term separation will give perspective.

ENOUGH.....

dang we are adults not children....

I think you will have to get your own place. I know the house is your DH. I can't remember if you have been helping make the mortgage payment or if there IS a mortgage. If you have been helping pay that for several years and can prove it, you MIGHT could get awarded part of that back if you took it to court. The reason I know all this is that our house is in my DH name only. He bought it at beginning of 2010. We married in 2012, and the month after we married, he became self employed. I have been paying the mortgage alone since 2012 because we half our bills, and DH pays the cell phone and utilities which works out to about the same as our mortgage. The reason I pay the mortgage is that DH no longer keeps a checking account, and he is not even on MY account. The mortgage is the one that I pay because we feel like that is the one we wanted to have checks to prove if anything was needed to be researched for any reason, etc.

Well, now sometimes I wish I didn't pay the mortgage because the house is in his name only, so my DS would likely never benefit from anything to do with the house after our death. I should really be contributing to something for his future because SS is probably the one who will benefit from this house that I pay for.

Lately I just let it go. It is only 698 dollars, and to rent a similar house in our area would likely be the same price. DS and I would have to have a place to live regardless, and DH does contribute his half of our expenses too.

DH and I used to argue more, and SS used to bother me more. Things are usually calm now (not always but usually), but there have been times when I have left for a few days or contemplated divorce. It doesn't seem fair since yes I pay the mortgage, but I have about decided that should something happen, yes I will have to leave.

If something happens here, I may print out all the payments I have made thru my checking account and attempt to go to court and get a settlement of some sort (we do not have kids together). I am not sure if it would work, and I am not sure if I would do it.

This is just one of the things that sucks about second marriages.

Anyway, I would not put up with your situation I don't think. It seems to me that it is not likely to improve and will get worse as she gets further along and as the baby is born, so I would probably leave. Sorry you are going thru this.

ETA-- In my case, I hope to be added to the deed soon. DH is all on board with me being added. He is not trying to be bossy to me or take away from DS or me. It is a money issue here. We are always pinched for money, and when I called the courthouse to ask how to do it, they said we would need to go through a lawyer. Our kids are teens, so it seems like they are more expensive as teens than they are when they were younger. We don't have the money to go through a lawyer right now and get me added to the deed, but hopefully in the coming years we will and at least I will be on that. I can't be added to the mortgage because during my first marriage, we owned 2 houses. The one awarded to me I sold. The one awarded to my exDH he lived in a while but let foreclose. My name was on it too, so now I have a foreclosure on my credit.

I personally think if your DH could afford it, a reasonable solution would be to help SD get set up in a nearby apartment or rental house and keep a check on her. I feel this might spur her to be on her own and be eventually more successful as a parent and adult. He could help however much he could afford without draining your current household.

If he can't afford that, I still feel a reasonable compromise would have been she gets one room only. Right now, it is almost like rewarding her for what has happened. I am not judging her because it could have happened to me at that age too, but I feel like if it is waaaay too easy for her, she would fall into a repeating cycle.

But if he were going to be such an ass about everything, I still think I would get my own place.