YSD to DH "Can you give BM and I another $100"

YSD sends DH a text asking for another $100 for her and BM for graduation.

The way she worded it, of course pissed me off. Her and BM??? DH isn't giving anything to BM. He may give you money YSD but not BM.

So YSD proceeds to tell DH that she needs $100 for graduation and if she doesn't get it she won't be able to graduate. She also said in her words "OSD is back in town and basically robbing BM".

So of course DH is like oh I need to give her the money to graduate. Just need to get through these next few months and then I am done. And I'm thinking- yeah okay.

And I'm also thinking- she's pregnant and she can't even afford to graduate but she's having a baby.

Well this morning I send an email to the school asking for confirmation on what is due in order for YSD to graduate. Response back: No fees are due for YSD at this time.

Just as I suspected. YSD is notorious for working with BM to con money out of DH. I can not tell you how many times this has happened. DH is such an idiot. I mean I can't even be mad at BM and YSD at this point. DH is the idiot who keeps allowing for it to happen. Handing out $20s, $50s, $100s.

So I send him the email and of course... crickets from him... no response.

You'd think that he would be pissed that his daughter works with BM to lie about money due to get money from DH. You'd think that she would have some kind of conscience about it?

And then we won't even touch on the whole "OSD is back in town and basically robbing BM" statement....

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maybe its due to the cap and

maybe its due to the cap and gown company not the school directly?

It's easy to solve these. "send me the bill and I will pay it directly"

Even if it's for the cap and

Even if it's for the cap and gown, that doesn't keep one from graduating. Participating, maybe, but not graduating.

That's semantics. I'm sure

That's semantics. I'm sure that walking in graduation is important to the kid.

I can empathize with the constant ooze of cash from these types of requests. My DH just asked for the bill and would pay directly. If they weren't real then he didn't pay. If he didn't find the cause "worthy", he didn't pay either.

Sadly DH isn't that smart

Sadly DH isn't that smart enough to ask for an actual bill.

Then you need to put your

Then you need to put your controlling wife panties on and TELL him to demand a bill before he hands over squat to a couple of liars.

Exactly. Her exact words were

Exactly. Her exact words were she could not graduate with out the money. Even if it's for cap and gown, it doesn't cost $200. DH has already given $100. What happened to that money???

It would be BM who thinks

It would be BM who thinks that YSD needs it and she doesn't.

He better not! Idiot. (DH,

He better not! Idiot. (DH, not you) LOL!

Wow... Just wow.

:jawdrop: Wow... Just wow.

My reaction too!

I'm going to tell him he

I'm going to tell him he NEEDS to do that.

Yes they are in cahoots

Yes they are in cahoots together. They have done this before.

My guess is that OSD is back in town, sucking up BM's resources, BM needs money so she tells YSD to text DH saying she needs $$ for graduation.

She told him it was fees that

She told him it was fees that needed to be paid otherwise she wouldn't be able to graduate.

She's a teenager. That

She's a teenager. That dramatic statement could mean just about anything from sincere fees to nail polish to go with her gown/cap.

First up, ask exactly what for. Second, if legitimate sounding, demand form, link whatever an Dad can look at it and follow through if agreeable.

If it turns out to be nothing and just scamming Dad, have him remind her it happens again she may end up not getting cash for something she does need. H8ll, tell her about the little boy who called wolf.

Dear SD: You might want to

Dear SD: You might want to get a Go Fund Me started now, I know you are familiar with this after your plea for new teeth. If the Go Fund Me is not a smashing success, then you might want to get a job.

Dear BM: Go fuck yourself

I paid for my own graduation

I paid for my own graduation fees, senior pictures, cap and gown. Not because I really had to (though we were "poor" growing up) but because I wanted to. It felt good to work and pay for things that I needed as opposed to just things I wanted.

You'd think that she would have a job considering she's about to be a mother.

You'd think that she would

You'd think that she would have a job considering she's about to be a mother.

that's the most hilarious thing I've heard all day!

I know... makes too much

I know... makes too much sense.

Agree. He won't say anything.

I agree...

...and you know what? This

...and you know what? This is something I say to my DH all the fucking time when skids/BMs are begging for money "You DO know that it is OK to say NO???!!!! I mean BM has zero problems saying she doesn't have the money, so why can't dad????"

In my household, if BS wants something and we say no, don't have the money, it doesn't mean you go and ask someone else, it means no. But somewhere along the way it has become acceptable for these CODS to come begging to the one parent when the other says no or I can't

Last night he was like yeah

Last night he was like yeah well BM paid for her braces and I didn't pay for them. And I'm like well did BM even consult you about the braces? No! Did YSD NEED the braces? No! So what's your point. Because she made a hasty decision and screwed herself now you have to pick up every other cost outside of CS?

REALLY??? BM paid for her

REALLY??? BM paid for her braces?? Come on. Does he mean BM's government insurance paid for her braces like my SS and SD got free braces because their scumbag mother's have them on their government freebies, while if my BS needs braces DH and I will be paying with our left arms AFTER I all pay my right arm in insurance premiums every month?? GRRRRRRRR this chaps my ass.

True...

Yep- I have to be

Yep- I have to be "controlling" as well otherwise DH would be broke.

So true... just like her

So true... just like her sisters.

I'm sure the money was more

I'm sure the money was more for BM then it was for YSD.

So I just talked to DH. At

So I just talked to DH. At first he was trying to act like I don't know what I am talking about. Then he reads the email and is like Oh that came directly from the school and I'm like YES!!!!!!!! The school said NOTHING IS DUE OR IS COMING DUE!

So then I had a little discussion on how if she needs something paid she needs to send the bill to DH and DH needs to pay the bill directly and he did agree to that.

He seemed mildly annoyed that he was lied to. He did say "I figured" when I said "They were just trying to get money from you".

Nothing has changed. They are

Nothing has changed. They are just liars.

In my school district, you

In my school district, you MUST pay school dues or you CANNOT walk across the stage for graduation and they will withhold your diploma until it's paid. It's not voluntary. My children graduated in 2010 and I graduated in 1982 and both times those fees had to be paid BEFORE graduation. Parents are notified of the school dues in the freshman year. They give you 4 years to pay those fees. I paid the $100 fee in my children's freshman year, and by the time they were juniors the cost had risen to $140.00. I paid the $40 in their junior year, but the school had no record of ever receiving the $100 for my one son. The school was harassing him about payment in his senior year and told him he would not graduate with his class. Even after I proved that the entire $140 was paid, by giving them copies of the cancelled check and a letter from my bank saying the funds were transferred into the schools account, they continued to harass him. I had to threaten to go to the school board to get it resolved before they stopped harassing him. Each graduating class has a President and treasurer and a teacher who oversees the money. Apparently someone didn't bother to write down that my one son had paid. This problem happened all the time because I have twins, and someone would always forget to credit one of my sons account.

Everything the school does, in my area, is a fund raiser. Pictures, cap & gown (where I live you can't rent - you must purchase the cap & gown) school rings, etc. A portion of the money paid goes to the school for a "legacy gift" from their graduating class to the school. My childrens graduating class purchased a new scoreboard for the football field. I don't remember if it was the kids who voted for what the legacy gift was or if the school decided.

You are incorrect. I've had

You are incorrect. I've had friends who didn't pay and didn't get their diploma, until they paid. The class dues does cover the cost of the diploma, cap & gown, the cost of the venue, and several other items. You don't get something unless you pay for it. Diploma's are not free.

Well apparently here that

Well apparently here that stuff costs $200

I think dad does need to

I think dad does need to either see the bill or get the "truth" about what the girl really wants.

In theory, I think SM's can tend to be shall we say protective/possessive of their DH's money. I understand. I am a SM who hated to see the CS and other money go out the door... especially as we were often struggling to make ends meet due to his business ventures.

Then again, I had to kind of let it go to a certain extent. Begrudging his kid an extra 20 bucks when they are going on a trip with friends or something is kind of petty. My parents certainly gave me money and bought things for me (even frivolous things) from time to time.

The thought that it was supplementing the BM is a hard pill to swallow. My DH's EX used to blackmail him into giving her "gas" money at custody exchange. As in, if I don't have the money, I can't meet you with the kids. (CO was not specific on visitation...so she could do what she wanted) Honestly, the cost to fight her in court would have well exceeded the 20 here and there.. so I just got over it.

There have been other times when the girls had some pretty big "asks" and I put my foot down and told him we couldn't afford it.

So, I don't know if the household can "afford" the 100 dollar give or not. But, if the girl has a legit need, I don't see why dad can't pitch in if he wants to and can afford it.

i agree esmod, however in

i agree esmod, however in this case there is no legit need. according to the school itself, there is nothing remaining to be paid that is keeping the sd from graduating.

maybe if she came outright and said "hey dad can you buy me a school sweatshirt?" or something, then yeah, it's frivolous but really not that big of a deal in the long run for something she may treasure for years to come. but fact of the matter is, she lied. straight up lied. and for that, i'd say not only no, but H3LL NO to that request.

It may have been a bend of

It may have been a bend of the truth for her. Something graduation related, but not a direct school expense. He needs to find out what it is.

"So YSD proceeds to tell DH

"So YSD proceeds to tell DH that she needs $100 for graduation and if she doesn't get it she won't be able to graduate."

i'll respectfully keep my personal opinion in that i would consider that a bold-faced lie. you might consider it a bend of truth, but if that was the case, i STILL wouldnt give her extra for playing that game when she has an extensive history this. JMHO <3

I agree... it's a bold face

I agree... it's a bold face lie. She has no problem any other time asking DH for money to go to the water park, for new shoes, for whatever.

I'm almost certain BM told her to ask DH and say she needed or she wouldn't be able to graduate.

It wasn't a lot of money

It wasn't a lot of money really. Just 20 bucks here and there.

I did get livid with BM the time that she beeeggggeed to have her support paid early because she wanted to pay for SD's cheer dues. DH said he didn't think it was an activity that needed to be paid for since she was already on the school squad and we really didn't have extra money laying around.

So, he paid 1/2 of her support early. Well, he went out of town and it fell to me to make the deposit to BM's account (I worked near a branch). So, I texted her that I put X in which was the support less the advance.

She texted me a bunch of curse words and said that I better put the FULL amount in because that "cheapass" needs to help pay for her cheer dues.

He ended up giving me more money to pay the full amount.. but advances were a thing of the past at that point.

wow. that's ballsy of her!

:jawdrop: wow. that's ballsy of her!

Since you need a cap and gown

Since you need a cap and gown to participate in graduation, I think this could be what the girl meant by she "couldn't graduate without it"

Now, perhaps she didn't highlight the fact that she ordered a premium package vs the standard old cap and gown. That's why I would make DH find out what it is for.

I would be less angry if it was for cap and gown plus some tshirt package vs it was just for makeup at the mall to wear to graduate... because it is close to being true that she "can't graduate" without it.. as in walk in graduation.

Yeah, she would still get a diploma, but HS grad is usually a big deal to participate in.

DH already gave $100 towards

DH already gave $100 towards graduation stuff. So really it's now up to BM to pay whatever else is needed. There is no way that the cap and gown is over $100.

If BM and YSD chose some expensive package over the $100 that DH already gave, then that is on them. They don't get to just pick some package and expect DH to pick up the cost.

And while true that she will need a cap and gown to WALK she does not need it to graduate.

That little trick and her

That little trick and her mother will keep doing it until the well runs dry....or your DH stops being their ATM.

So yesterday morning YSD sent

So yesterday morning YSD sent DH a text "????" and he responded "Hey". So she then sent him the same texts that the sent the night before. DH responded with "I'm broke until next paycheck" and she responded "Oh".

#1- DH should have just addressed the fact that he knew she was lying, but he's a wimp so I'm not surprised. Or he even could have asked her for the bill if he didn't want to call her out for lying. Instead he won't address the issue, so she will attempt it again soon.

#2- If YSD REALLY needed the money she would have asked him if he would be able to help her when he got paid. So her response of "Oh" tells me "Oh well, I tried to get money from him".

Dh should text her back -

Dh should text her back - sorry no money required for graduation as per school reply received... and I'm not responsible for your outfits and hair

Great response .... Or better

Great response .... Or better yet - Sorry no money is required as per the schools response... and ... I have already provided for the rest of the things when I pay CS to your mother each month. I gave your mom the money already. Proud of you for graduating. Buh-bye.

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YSD to DH "Can you give BM and I another $100"

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