I never thought I would be writing a blog about SK... I'm 45 and my NEW husband is 57 (got married 3 weeks ago). He's been divorced twice with 3 kids(SS30,SD28,SS26) from the 1st exwife and 1 kid(SD18) from the 2nd exwife.
The 2nd exwife is 100% off the picture; very depress woman with lots of personal problems with alcohol and men. Her daughter is DARLING, and keeps to herself as she is getting ready to go to College (which I'm helping to pay). This EX is the prefect one, never around and doesn't care. My H and her totally hate each other. So, no problems for me.
BUT the 1st Exwife... she's the worst person ever. Totally (fake) sweet and nice to me, very much involved with her 3 kids lives, very pretty but older (60yr) and has always influence her kids against their father. To my face she has been SOOOO sweet is sick, because she has the tendency to say things like..."We made amazing children together" or calls my inlaws "mom" and "pop" at the same time she loves to reminiscence about the good old days when they went on vacation and hang out together with my husband's family and the worst one... Watch out he drinks too much and he likes his women. I was so upset but didn't say anything, I just ignore them. But it hurt.
I'm having problems with the oldest daughter and the oldest son... my SD at the beginning, when I was dating her father, she was super nice, to the point that she would tell me that she loved me. She is married with a young child. About a yr into our relationship my SD started to change little by little, with the nasty comments like "I don't believe you did that" or just ignoring me, stopped inviting me to family events, etc., and when I would ask my H what was going on? he would say "It's all in your head", "You are exaggerating "You need to relax"... so, we started to fight!
My precious SD could not do anything wrong! I was the one that was going crazy!
My mother-in-law warned me about my SD and her mother; she told me to watch my back and to make sure I wouldn't let them get in my head. To simple ignore them and to have a good life with my H.
After dating for 2.5 yrs and having known each other for 6 yrs, we decided to get married; he really had been insisting for several months so finally I agreed to marry him. We arranged a quick civil wedding; my SD just mumble a congratulations and never spoke again for the rest of the night. Everybody else was happy.
We also arranged for a religious wedding; that we decided to go to a far location with mainly my family; I invited his children to attended but the FAR location was a great excuse for them not to go...except for 2 of them...GRRRRR - What a nightmare!!!! That stupid SS ruined our amazing trip. The wedding was great until my SS got drunk and was hitting on my cousin! Then he left the party for like an hour with my cousin all drunk and my H was looking for him all scared of an accident or worst. The next 2 days he behaved better but on the 3 day all HELL broke loose...My SS demanded to be taken back home, that he would not longer wanted to be there and that he would walk if we didn't take him. A 30 yr old man acting like a 5 yo... SO, we had to change everybody's plans (my family was still in town for the wedding visiting with friends) so, we all had to leave the BEAUTIFUL location and take him back (5 hr trip) so, the rest of our vacation days were just awkward and uncomfortable; this is supposed to be my honeymoon!!!! I got really mad and I should've held back but I was mad at my 4 day old Husband for letting his son change the rest of the group schedule. So, I can of lost it a little bit, but I NEVER once spoke to the SS, my rage was directed to my new husband... I would let him go walking and figure it out. He's a 30 yr old man and I'm sure he can get transportation on his own. But, my H felt it would be better to let him go and we could get back to our schedule. We got to the drop off location and he got out; everybody said Good Bye, I couldn't even look at him so I escape his good bye.
He got back home and told everybody in my Husband's family that I was the worst person, that I had made him cry!, that I was mean to him, etc., to the point that the whole family is unhappy with me at the moment.
My mom tells me that she thinks my SS had the intention all along to disrupt the wedding and pushed my buttons so I would break and have an excuse to talk bad about me.
I couldn't believe it; I refused to accept that some people can be so jealous and selfish.
MY oldest SD asked a couple of months ago if we were going to sign a PRENUP... I laugh because I'm the one with the money; my H has properties that are mortgaged for 20yrs, that's a hefty mortgage payment every month; also has several debts that he's paying... so, I should be taking care of my assets!!!
It's very disheartening to know that SOOO many women goes through this crap for nothing! All I want is to have a nice, quite, peaceful, happy life with my H. We are not having children together, I have my own money and I work, I love my H and I like to take care of him and he likes taking care of me. Why are his children so against this?
I am so in love with my H... but so afraid his children will try to separate us.
Thank you for letting me write it out. It really helps to know that I'm not going crazy; that their behavior is on them not me. I found the courage in this blog to stay strong and to NOT CARE what they do or say. I was reminder that the best defense against a bully is total alienation. My best revenge and the best way to make them pay is by been HAPPY and have a strong marriage. I'll keep my distance forever and ignore them and smile.