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He's putting words in my mouth...and then blaming me for saying them?-Rant

tonieye11's picture

Things haven't been so rosy in tonieyeville as of late. SO still very a$$chapped about me buying a house and not putting his name one it. Sorry, not sorry. Now he's holding against me things I've never actually said but based solely on how he thinks I would feel about said subject. And, quick frankly it's pathetic and rather annoying. Somehow not allowing him to replace BS bed with a bunk bed or put bunk beds in one of the bedrooms means his kids can never come over. Granted I can't see why his special snowflakes can't sleep in normal beds. Why must an entire room be blocked off for only children, who almost never spend the night. Then it was "I have a problem with BS and SS6 hanging out together." I've never said that. I don't dislike SS, I just don't have a high opinion of his parents, both of them the way SO is acting. The new one is: "it would be weird for SS6 to spend the night at the house." Where is he getting this stuff? I literally had to ask him "What lower backwards facing body part are getting this stuff from?" He's best response is "Well that's how it feels." So your making crap up, attaching it to me, acting off that assumption and then blaming me for the fall out of things outside of my control. Nice SO, nice. I think he's losing his mind and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I'm in that unique situation where the SKs are not the problem, surprising fairly well behaved kids, but their parents...

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tonieye11's picture

Household bills ~3k a month
Preschool for our BS ~600 a month
His rent ~600 a month

And he wants to block of an entire room for 3 kids, where 2 are not allowed to spend the night per BM (no court order) and 1 has spent the night maybe 10 times in 5.5years.

That would be a negative. His kids are welcome to come over. His kids are welcome to spend the night. It however will not be on bunk bed that I never wanted, that were bought before he discussed it with me which was before my closing date. Every piece of furniture I have bought I have asked his opinion of, even though I pay for it myself, he did not ask my opinion. Since he wanted to do this behind my back, a blanket NO has been established.

uofarkchick's picture

Listen to Morri. Sounds like you're an intelligent woman but sometimes we do stupid things for looooove.

hereiam's picture

He's pouting and trying to start arguments. He WANTS you to argue with him, do not engage.

Icansorelate's picture

If you put him on the deed and you break up, he has equal rights to your house. He could refuse to ever leave. Do not do it. The way is his acting over this, I would invite him to move out now.

notsobad's picture

Saying that yo said things when you never did is Gaslighting.
Good for you, not falling for it.

tonieye11's picture

There is space for them to spend the night as is. There are 4 bedrooms, only 2 are currently being occupied. All 3 kids could (will never happen, BM1 hates him mightily for good reason) spend the night as is. No bunk beds were ever necessary. I just don't want to turn one room completely for just kids, when I live 4-14 hours from my family and when they visit they tend to come in groups. He just wants to steak his and his kids claim in my house which pissed me off because he did this before I even had the keys to the house. That already didn't start the conversation off well. I tolerate a lot of crap but having his kids and his BMs profit off of something that I did and do completely alone ISNT HAPPENING. His name shall never be on the deed, that ship sailed. My house is my house, he setup this mine versus his divide so he can live with it. If that means I'm an unaccommodating step-witch then so be it. All of his kids have two fully functioning parents, I'm 100% sure BS has never gotten anything from BM1 or BM2 so why should it be the other way around.

I have nothing against the kids, in fact I have nothing really against BM1 I understand why she hate him. Not the tactic I would take but I also understand why she does what she does. BM2 could go jump off a bridge for all I care, and based on how I feel right now SO can follower her.

Acratopotes's picture

ignore him, he's acting like a bratty teen.... smile and say if you feel so strong about it why don't you buy a house
for you and your children