I know I was doing alright being semi-disengaged but I entered back in the ring this morning for another round. I can't watch DH get beaten down like this any longer!!! Below is the email I sent the attorney (names left out to maintain some sort of anonymity:

Dear ________,

I know I said I didn’t want to be CC’d on any emails (my apologies, I was in the throes of a breakdown after a horrible few weeks financially and otherwise.) I just can’t keep silent about some of the things I am seeing!

I know DH hasn’t been able to keep up with your legal fees, or any bills for that matter. When he settles the (workers compensation) case your fees are a priority. He would be willing to sign a note or affidavit if you would like, putting a hold on the funds.

With that said, we really need to do something about BM because it gets worse each week. I understand if you don’t want to take this on having all of those outstanding invoices, but even if you could point us in the right direction for him to file a motion pro se I would appreciate it. It was easy to keep my mouth shut until I saw the impact her antics are having on SS (and our life, every week).

SS is afraid of her boyfriend and is very vocal about that. He was screamed at for walking inside at drop off with a $25 scooter from DH. The kids tell us “boyfriend makes mom cry” and “flips out on us.” BM and the boyfriend talk very openly in front of the kids about child support, their dislike for DH and other adult issues. Keep in mind, this is the same man that stormed outside and beat on DH until he collapsed onto the pavement a year ago, with the kids home. SS is petrified to contact DH or me (he thinks he will be punished) and he has begged us not to tell his mother because “he will be forced to go to therapy.” I also noticed the kids are very preoccupied about money and know way too much about child support and court.

The last Friday the kids were supposed to be dropped off she literally called and said she was on her way to us and then shut off her phone. For all DH knew, they were in an accident. He was pacing around calling until 10:30 when he finally got a hold of SS. The next morning she just drops them off at her convenience, as if nothing ever happened.

Another incident that shocked me was Halloween. She fought with him about 5 or 6 days before regarding costumes. She even texted “I don’t want to take your Halloween.” He called for 2 days and left messages and she was well aware it was his night. She intentionally took off with the kids and then today she calls him and pretends she had no idea it was his Halloween – and told him she was home until 7:00 (when he was sitting outside for 20 minutes at 6:00 PM and the house was empty with no cars there.) She calls him “crazy” and hangs up. I know as a mother she wants control but she takes it to an extreme that you would have to see to believe.

I read about parental alienation and that is exactly what she is doing. This is the second man she has acting as her kids’ father (the only time she allows DH to be with the kids is when she is going through a break up) and she continues to use the kids as pawns when it comes to DH -- and she decides whether she “feels like” abiding by the court order. It is awful, and although DH is far from perfect and struggles financially, he tries to do everything he can for them. He is constantly devastated about the loss of those kids. She told him today before she hung up that she wanted to keep SD this Saturday and take her to a baby shower. He is a glorified babysitter at best.

SD has been begging to take gymnastics and it has been almost 2 years – BM refuses to allow DH to take her but won’t sign her up. The ONLY thing she will discuss with DH is money.

She has destroyed his relationship with the kids (ripping them from him at her convenience) and now they are getting older and are questioning everything, asking why they don’t see him, why he doesn’t “show up” and more. The holidays are coming and after Halloween we are afraid to make any plans because we anticipate they will be ruined with her indirect answers, ignoring, game playing, etc.

I don’t know what the court can do in these situations but I feel like DH needs to go forward and do something. How much does it cost to file a motion and is that the next best thing to do? Help!

Thank you!!! Without you he would have been completely forced out of the picture right now. I really am sorry for the nonstop drama.

AJanie

Stalkers -- let me know your thoughts? Did I sound like a nutbag stepmom? Thanks!