He probably doesn't want to tell you what was said because he knows how you feel about his kids. Maybe SS asked for privacy and didn't want it shared with you.

Is your DH the type of person to just act like nothing was said instead of saying to you "It's private between SS and I?"

If it was something truly important, do you trust that your DH would inform you? Maybe you are on the need to know basis, especially if you are disengaged.

If you are disengaged why did you even ask? Do you really care what SS wanted to talk to DH about or is it more because you are nosey (this would be me, so I'm not saying it to be rude).

Sounds like manipulation to oust you from the equation.. but have they done this before? Seems kind of odd that all of the sudden they would do something like this? Maybe skid chickened out from telling dad whatever he wanted to tell him??

My guess is he had something he wanted to talk about but lost his nerve. Maybe he was waiting for an opening from dad like "so what did you want to talk about, son?" I know I'm like that, it's so much easier to bring up something uncomfortable if someone else gets the ball rolling.

Sounds like they didn't want you around, either because they DID discuss something you aren't being told about, or they wanted alone time with their father. Either way, I doubt it's anything important.

I would keep my ears open and see what happens. Asking your DH and/or the skids probably will not get you any answers.

Could it be that whatever he wanted to talk to Dad about got resolved by the time you got home?
KK and BV had some discussion and KK said I'm going to ask Dad about it. Then BV said no, don't I don't want Dad and WOB to know it and BV went with them to make sure KK didn't talk about it?
Or they worked it out themselves and so it was a non issue by lunchtime?

He shouldn't have been sneaky about it but would you have been okay with it if the kids wanted to have lunch with just their dad and said so?

I know some SMs get really upset about it, and when constantly excluded, I get it, but I really never cared if SD wanted one on one time with her dad, as long as there was not an ulterior motive, like trying to manipulate him.

Sounds like the kid manipulated the situation to exclude you.
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That would be my guess. But what is more disturbing is that DH knows that is what happened and he is semi, turning it around on you. So when KK said he did not want to talk about anything, DH just dropped it and did not ask…”why did you tell me that then?” I call fowl.

But not much to do about it especially since DH is trying to make it look like you are being too sensitive .

I can see both sides. I think the skids just wanted alone time with dad but they way they went about it was rude. I am not sure how you could go about it with out seeming rude though. Like if my SD wanted to go out with just her dad, what do you say?? I want to go have lunch but just with you not Newstep, that seems rude to me but how else would you go about it?

Just thinking about made me wonder. SD has never done that as far as I know but I don't know what SO would tell her if she did. For the record I try to give them lots of alone time which suits me just fine }:)

I can see kids wanting one on one with just their bio. Heck there are times when I want to do an activity with just BS and I and not my husband or sometimes my mom without my dad. When your blended there are a whole lot more possibilities to hurt someone's feelings.

Follow up questions:

1. Did KK know where you and DH were when he called? If so, sounds like he just wanted to disrupt your outing akin to when a skid interrupts an adult conversation to say "I saw a squirrel once" (yes YSS really did say this; most of the time he was trying to find an excuse for interrupting because he just wanted his dad to stop interacting with me)

2. Has Medusa been in contact with KK or BV? If yes, then you have a partial explanation.

Hopefully KK will not start to play the ASS role.

WOB, I don't know you well enough to know if those texts are how you usually speak to your DH or not. If not, I'd suggest being more aware of how polarizing you sound. What I 'felt' from the text exchange was that you were pointing out that KK was a jerk, that DH was a jerk to allow it, and that you were hurt and angry about what happened. But you don't talk about how you feel, you just push back with "Good to know." So now DH is pushed into a corner too.

Personally, I think DH should have a) not allowed BV to come, b) walked out when KK admitted there was 'nothing' to talk about, or c) called you, while they watched and learned, to come join them since there was 'nothing' to talk about.

Since he didn't do that, I think he should go talk to KK about 'nothing' and explain to KK exactly how much KK just screwed with the trust DH had in him.

And DH should be figuring out, with you, how you (collectively) will be handling this crap. Because ASS was enough, you do not need a repeat.

If you are well and truly disengaged AND if your finances are seperate (so YOU aren't paying for their lunch) I would completely let it go. Don't even give it a thought; it's not worth it.
I certainly wouldn't send a text to my SO that's going to start an argument, mainly because that's probably what the skids want.
You got some free time at home, and got to avoid an outing with skids? Score! Who gives a shit what they wanted. It's not your problem.
I would however be pissed if your DH hadn't offered to Pick you up some lunch. That makes it personal!

That is exactly the type of situation the creates resentment from the SM. Kids come off as manipulative and your DH comes across as a wuss for allowing it and NOT calling them out on it. I would of been annoyed at all of them!

Now IF the whole situation had been presented by DH as "Hey my kids want to hang out for a bit and grab a bite to eat , do you mind if we go without you". Maybe then you wouldn't of cared , unless you were hungry...because that would of just been rude lol.

Instead you get the " Skid wants to talk to me in private at lunch ". Which is understandable and would of been legit...until the other skid hops in the car crap. The second the other skid got in , your DH should of asks them whats up and had them go get you. Or at least asked them both if they needed to talk in private to verify the reason for not including SM.

The skids seem to have ample "alone" time with their Dad , so that doesn't seem to be an issue. And since nothing was even talked about , just seems fishy. He allowed those kids to win a small power play.

Overall it might be a minor thing , but since you have those kids dang near 100% of the time I would be really aggravated. I hope they didn't go somewhere you really like !

So now he is away for work and you are stuck home with them, lucky you!

mY STEPkids are really, really really into eating out. They will do anything to go to a restaurant. Mine like the food and will always order appetizers and really expensive entrees and their father is short on money and will say no if it isn't framed with guilt so they do the "I really miss you. " or "I really want to spend time with my father" but they can't spend time with him at his house or doing anything free... They can only spend time with him at a restaurant where he is paying or at the mall if he bring his credit card.

So that's my guess. They were hungry for some restaurant food

This is probably far off, but is there any reason he may have wanted to be alone with them and made up the story of KK needing to talk about something?

As a first sign of potential manipulation of the situation I would let it pass. If it were repeated then I would probably raise my concerns. It seems your husband picked up that something strange was going on so hopefully he should be more aware next time too.

I'm going with manipulation to get DH away from you and DD.... jealousy in over drive...
KK and BV planned it this way, she was not invited last minute that's just a pot full of crock...

but I would not even bother asking DH about what lunch was... I would just go on and be happy I did not have to join them }:)

if I am giving you my honest gut reaction after reading this plus the text exchange, I feel like your DH does indeed know what KK wanted to talk about, and that they did indeed talk about something, and that he is hiding from you what they talked about, possibly to avoid hurting you or possibly because he knows already what the reaction would be, or possibly because he dealt with the issue and thought it isn't even worthy of mentioning. Since obviously I do not know your dh personally, there is no way to gauge his actions though

I don't want to beat a dead horse and I know the last post to this thread was several days ago, but is it possible they wanted to speak to DH about being left home with you while he went on his business trip?

That's my two cents worth. I may be way off base though. That would have been my first thought.