I would like to lay out for you, in no short order, My story of struggles and successes in hopes that I can better understand my failures. Over the last 20 years I have grown from an adolescent with no knowledge of navigating step issues, spending a short stint as a disney dad (guilt trips are a hell of a drug), to an adult with the understanding that nothing is more important than the ability to stand up for myself and my true family from all abusive oppressors at all costs. This will be long, and I will break it up into multiple entries so thank you for your patience.

I spent my childhood being raised by a mother and step father that lived their lives for themselves and would rather never interact with me. Or at least as little as possible. I was also the only child of an adopted only child of 5 siblings, none of which had children of their own. This caused a dynamic of being raised as a golden child and being told constantly throughout childhood that I would never have to work a day in my life. My parents lived their lives in a small town to stay close to the money in hopes that they would one day be part of this massive inheritance. As many of you may know about small towns, word is lightning fast and everyone is in everyone else's business at all times. I believe that word of my situation caused me to become targeted by BM's in training. This coupled with the fact that I was practically raised by cable tv left me ill equipped to see through the lies that led to my very first and only other relationship.

The BM of our story will be R. R spent the first three years together when I was 17 pretending to be as perfect as possible to ensure the groundwork of a long con. After being on birth control for years R decides its time to stop taking it without mentioning anything and I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Say hello to unplanned pregnancy and a total 180 from cool to bat guano insane. R was now in a position to stop the act and be her true bitchy self in an attempt to make me leave and play the victim. I had other plans though because even though I was not ready to be a father at the age of 20, I decided that I was responsible for this life and I wanted to be the best father I could be. This back and forth destructive relationship ends up lasting 8 years including marriage. I was determined to see it through and because of the money I was already receiving I was a SAHD while she worked even though she didn't have to. I paid all the bills, she got whatever she wanted, and she was able to save all her earnings for herself which is probably why she took this runner up approach to the usual BM attack strategy.

Along with all of this I had a childhood best friend (we'll call Q) that I was close with throughout my entire life. Sleepovers as children, our parents were friends, we did most everything together on the daily and looking back I see how easy I made it for anyone in my life to get anything they wanted. Q and R never really got along very well, in fact their very first interaction ended with him calling her a bitch. Over the years I was with Q for his first relationships, I helped him get his first job, and he always had a safe place to land with me. While I was raising my son Q went to college and was gone for 4 years. Once he returned we spent everyday together at my house being generally lazy while he looked for a job in his field. During this time R decides that she wants to have a second child and sets to make this happen. She positioned this to me as a "save the marriage" child. I was firmly against this but I also did not want to divorce the first person I had ever been with (idiotic idealism, thanks disney!). Time passes and R eventually becomes pregnant with a daughter. I in my infinite wisdom took this at face value and went along with whatever I was told without asking too many questions. I had begun revolting though as my life had gone in a direction I hadn't imagined as a teenager and I spent most days depressed, temperamental, and wishing I was with someone that actually made me happy.

Daughter was born when I was 23 and I set about continuing to be a responsible adult and keeping the home running smoothly. Fast forward a year, I’m following a routine of getting the kids ready and in bed. After they're down I would normally sleep as well to be ready for the early rise. I laid down but had a nagging feeling in my gut and started creeping around without even knowing why I was doing it. Thats when I catch R and Q going at it on the floor in the living room. I yell "WTF!". She yells "We're in love!". Q sees my face and realizes its time to run and locks himself in his car. I spend the next few hours raging on R while she could really care less about how I feel. I challenge everything I thought I knew and end up finding out that their romantic relationship goes back over 4 years. I am a joke to the people I had spent my life surrounding myself with. Being Q’s closest “friend” makes me aware of all the questionable relationships he has been in because he has always been avid on dating sites, and that now I have to get tested as quickly as possible.

I kicked out R, which she was fine with and immediately moved in with Q. The fallout was brutal. His family, her family, and half of our friends turned on me to take their side. This was my rock bottom and I didn’t even know yet what was in store for me. A future of visitation schedules, payments, and daily assaults to any boundaries I try to create awaited me. My life changed in so many ways as I suffered daily mental assaults by R. She had a plan on what role I was going to play for her value in their new relationship.

My next post will cover how R (now referred to as BM for the rest of time) fights tooth and nail to have me as her new family butler and her conditioning of the kids to help her manipulations. To offset the sorrow regarding all of this I will say I do find true love for myself but if you think this has been dysfunctional so far, you wont believe the lengths of drama that happen once BM sees me happy.