My worst nightmare
Tonight i came home to find that my two 19 minth old twins were left alone.
I got off work and came home by 834. My so their father had apparently left them here alone . They were left in the dark, with no food or drink, doors to the house unlocked.
When i found him, the cops already had him. He was super wasted. I had to go make a statement. He is being charged i am told with 2 counts of child endangerment.
I am so sick right now. The officer told me i must go file for emergency custody and a pfa in the morning.
I cant stop shaking and ive thrown up a few times. This doesnt seem real.
My god i am ill. I should let bm know right? I mean if ciurse i should. He is supposed to get sd tomorrow. He is not allowed at my house. He is not allowed around my boys.
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Yes contact BM. Then call a
Yes contact BM. Then call a friend or relative to come and give you some support if you can.
That sounds horrifying. I am glad that your kids are ok. Horrified that the asshole would get in that state when he was caring for them let alone leaving them by themselves.
Things to think about tomorrow as well as the legal side of things are changing your locks and protecting your money if you have any joint accounts.
Stay safe and get support.
What a wasted loser. Yes
What a wasted loser. Yes contact BM. And be done with him. If he wants to see his kids he has to prove he is capable of taking care of them. Which sadly seems like no time soon.
I am assuming he will get
I am assuming he will get jail time yes? I hope he does. This is my first night alone in 5 years. First night ever alone with my boys.
My heart keeps breaking over and over thonking of my babies sitting here in the dark alone.
poor kids and good for you
:jawdrop: poor kids and good for you getting him out of the house,
now I'm on the other side, why should you call BM and inform her about anything? I would not, if she arrives with SD, I would simply tell her the truth and say, sorry that your Ex did not inform you, but he's not allowed back here, you will have to find out from him where he wants SD and where he lives now.
If you call BM then you are taking responsibility for this idiot... don't...
I told his brother to contact
I told his brother to contact her to let her know. I slept for a few hours. I woke up andnit hit me like a truck. Not going back to sleep now.
So he is being charged with two counts child endangerment, he is not allowed to see the kids until court right?
I want to sleep so bad. I have so much to do. It makes me sooo angry that while i am up stressing, he is probably passed out jn jail right now.
The cops were pissed at the scene.
Ill get emergency custody right? I cannot see ever trusting him with these babies alone ever again. God knows hoe many times this has happened. I work all nights. My mind is racing. He could have done this so many times.
His brother stated that hr hopes he has a friends house to crash at because there isnt room at his dads.
If you are in the states,
If you are in the states, this is what will probably happen. He will see a judge this morning or this afternoon for arraignment. There will more than likely be a temporary protection order put in place to protect the babies. You need to go to the courthouse TODAY and file for an emergency civil protection order. A civil protection order is what grants temporary custody, gives you control over the house and contents, and temporary child support. A judge will sign it or deny it within a few hours. If it is approved, a temporary order of custody will go in to place as soon as he is served. A hearing will be scheduled for a permanent order. You do not need a lawyer and there is no cost to file for this. Just go to your county clerk and she will give you a form. If you need support, please don't hesitate to contact a DV shelter. They have legal advocates that will meet you at the courthouse and help you. This has to be done or else once that temporary order of protection expires, you are up the creek. This is indeed a nightmare but you are not alone. You are a good mother and you are protecting your children. He is a grown man that made the choice to drink himself in to oblivion and put his kids in danger. Also, do not be surprised if CPS shows up. Keep your house spotless and assure them that you have a protection order in place and that he is not welcome at your home. If they think you will take him back and let him live with the kids, they will remove your kids for their own safety.
HOn - go and take a long
HOn - go and take a long sleep - you will feel much better, no person can think straight when tired.
When you wake up you get a restraining order against him and while busy full custody of the kids.
I tried to sleep. I took a
I tried to sleep. I took a hot bath after my friends put my kids to bed for me.
I am currently trying to choke down toast because i keep dry heaving.
I cannot get the image of my kids alone in the dark screaming out of my head.
it's just stressed out and
it's just stressed out and being tired... knock down some burbon and pass out
I wish i drank!! Lol i have
I wish i drank!! Lol i have not drank since we were trying to concieve. So 3 years almost. Well i had that one beer on my birthday a few weeks ago.
Plus cant drink now that i am the only adult who will be with my kids.
I have to figure out my job. I do not have a sitter on weekends. My kids father and i worked opposite shifts so none was needed.
Hon not saying turn into a
Hon not saying turn into a drinker like me.... but you should have a small bottle of burbon there for cases like this, it takes off the edge and knocks you to lala land quickly....
see with me it will not work, but for a non drinker no better way to go to bed and wake up stress free...
Hang in there, you will know what to do....
I am just waiting for my aunt
I am just waiting for my aunt to get here so i can get to family court. The cop said i needed to go first thing in the morning.
You will get through this.
You will get through this. Get a plan and go for it. Do what is best for the twins and yourself right now to keep you all safe.
I filed and was awarded
I filed and was awarded emergency custody. He is not allowed to have contact with the boys.
I am cleaning and packing. I cant eat. Every time i try my throat closes.
Thank god, through my shit life has made me handle stress wonderfully except for the not eating and vomiting part. I even managed to pay my electric bill.
I have to try and break the lease on this place. I have to try and clean and pack before a dfs worker shows.
He is iut of jail. He texted me this morning and said he has had a problem with drinking for awhile. I am a fucking idiot. I knew he was drinking. He said he had some kind of mental break and doesnt know why he left or where he was going.
I do not get the luxury of a breakdown.
I filed and was awarded
I filed and was awarded emergency custody. He is not allowed to have contact with the boys.
I am cleaning and packing. I cant eat. Every time i try my throat closes.
Thank god, through my shit life has made me handle stress wonderfully except for the not eating and vomiting part. I even managed to pay my electric bill.
I have to try and break the lease on this place. I have to try and clean and pack before a dfs worker shows.
He is iut of jail. He texted me this morning and said he has had a problem with drinking for awhile. I am a fucking idiot. I knew he was drinking. He said he had some kind of mental break and doesnt know why he left or where he was going.
I do not get the luxury of a breakdown.
Is it awful that i dont want
Is it awful that i dont want him to be in jail?
He needs some serious help before he even thinks about seeing our kids but him sitti g in jail isnt going to do anything for us.
He had never missed a day of work until yesterday. We rely on his paycheck.
Are you trying to avoid a cps
Are you trying to avoid a cps visit? I can understand that. It's scary when they get involved. I had a therapy group with a woman whose boyfriend shook her baby (she lived) while she was at work. They still took her baby and she is fighting like hell to keep her. She has to jump through their hoops and she didn't do anything wrong! If you need to pick up and move for a while, then do it! And I understand the guilt you can feel when the perpetrator is in jail. It makes no sense, I know, but that does dissipate. And I've you have the hearing for the permanent order, he will be paying child support. Hon, his actions led to these consequences. He is a big boy and he chose to drink. If he loses his job and family over it, that's on him. He made a mistake. We're all human. But now is the time to pay for those choices. I hope, for the sake of your children, that he gets help. But until then, follow the court order and protect your kids.
We have to move. I cannot
We have to move. I cannot afford to stay here. Its more then what is doable. A friend offered to move in but..even then we cant afford it.
Im not trying to avoid a cps visit. I know they are coming. My friend is coming today to help me make sure its cleaned up.
I am still in panic mode because i am the type of person who HAS to do something during stressful situations.
Stress is a catalyst for change for me.
I know i cannot rely on his check which is why i need to move in with my mom. I was about to lose my daycare anyway because my aunt who watches the boys during the day is getting surgery for cancer. We were planning on me going part time at that point.
We were not married but i know and will file for child support. I know he also will not fight anything anyway as i saw how he is with his daughters bm. I was the one making sure paperwork and that stuff got done.
Im having a rough morning. He went out last night having fun. So i know in my heart he wanted out anyway. I think a man that fucked up abd was sorry would be doing something other then going out.