I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine.

My mother is aging and in poor health. She could live a long time, but the quality is continuing to decrease. I have mixed feelings - I love her and admire her and think she's great, and I have lots of great memories of loving things she's done and said and been. But her mistakes were doozies, and she didn't necessarily learn from them.

And I am so not ready for her to pass on, I miss her. I haven't lived on the same continent for almost a decade, and for a decade before that I lived on one coast and she on the other. The time difference is horrible, and I can't do anything from here anyway.

Sorry about making this about me... I just don't think anything prepares you.

awwww... ((((((hugs)))))))

i'm glad your dh is being so wonderful during this difficult time. i am sorry that some of your friends are either showing you who they are, or are just that insensitive. and i am so very sorry for your loss.

I'm very sorry you're hurting:(. Your post is making me cry. Take the time you need to heal, like you said it is a process, one you may go back & forth on for a long time. Not that this is an excuse, but some people are very uncomfortable with grief & we all appreciate different things when we are grieving. Perhaps your "friends" are the kind of people that prefer space, so that's why they haven't reached out directly towards you? They've given you what they'd want. Maybe they figured your guy would give you the message & when you were ready to talk you'd call. I can't say for sure, because that's a lot of people to have that response. Well they always say you learn who your friends are when times are tough & I've learned that's true. I say stick with the people that are taking care of you in your fragile state, the people that are making you feel good. Again, I'm so sorry.

My sympathies to you and your family. I lost my dad some time back and I don't think I'll ever truly get over it.

(((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry Merry. It's been my experience that death is so uncomfortable for some folks, they have no idea how to talk to someone about it.

I feel for you losing your Mother. {{ Hugs }}

I just took my mother to the eye doctor and got cross with her rewriting history and kvetching. Your post today is a great reminder. Moms are so important in our lives --- whether we had a great relationship or not --- and their passing leaves a hole in the tapestry of our days.

What are some of your favorite memories of your Mother?

I remember when I was tyke going up to Zomba Plateau and walking with my mom around a small lake surrounded by trees. I remember the most amazing huge bugs which were the color of rainbows and flew so fast. My mother named them: "Dragonflies." I thought she was magic.

I'm so sorry you lost your mother, Merry. I think that losing that primary relationship is awful no matter what age we are. There's an enormous void left. Please be good to yourself as you grieve.

The last illness and death of my mother was the one and only personal crisis I've had since marrying into a family filled with dysfunction. The exploits of my in-laws and skids read like a movie on the Lifetime network, and I bent over backwards helping many of them. Yet when mom passed, it was mainly crickets. Fortunately, I have some great friends who were there for me, but the lesson was there.

Hard times show us who we can really count on. It may be time to tighten your circle.

My sincere condolences to you on the recent death of your Mother.

My condolences on the loss of your mother. They are irreplaceable. I think sometimes when the decesased is very old, people figure you won't be sad. Losing someone is losing someone, no matter how old they are or how long they've been in your life.