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Merry's Blog

AITAH—$ for SS

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DH and I live comfortably. We're not wealthy but I don't worry about paying bills. Occasionally we take a nice trip. We're both retired, he has a decent retirement income and no savings. I have more retirement income and I've saved all my life. I don't consider my savings as joint money, but sometimes I tap into it for things we want or need. Travel, new roof, etc.

Deep down, they know.

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I believe that my DH knows his kids are jerks, deep down. He lives in a fantasy world sometimes but now and then the truth slips out.

I showed DH a photo of a mini donkey on one of our neighborhood pages. So stinkin' cute. Owner was looking to rehome it.

DH says, "I don't need a donkey. I have a daughter."  Took me a minute and then I couldn't help but laugh. 

How has your DH/DW acknowledged that their kids are difficult without saying they are difficult?

SD is not FIRST

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Well DH sure got an earful from SD. Her decision to have nothing to do with him is because he NEVER put her first and he doesn't put her first NOW. This is a grown woman with a husband and children, but apparently Daddy needs to fall at her feet.

And he's not allowed to be in touch with her children because she doesn't want them to feel the way she has felt her WHOLE LIFE. I'm

She's delusional, and narcissism comes to mind.

O/T dog storm phobia

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My sweet Pittie mix has a terrible time with storms. Very little response to Prozac or Xanax and I think one other thing the vet tried. Thundershirt and hemp chewies also not effective.

She pants, drools, shakes, climbs on me, runs out into the storm if she gets half a chance. She really suffers, and so do I.

And my grumpy old lady border collie mix is super protective of me and doesn't share well.

DH makes a funny

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My pocket manager (my phone) has stopped talking to me. I set an alarm reminder for something today and I did not receive the expected confirmation from Siri.

I commented to DH that Siri must be tired or upset with me. DH says, "Or she's gotten instructions from SD."

Laughter all around.

SS called yesterday, finally. I didn't stick around to hear the whole convo, but what I did hear was all about SS, his latest car repair, and the great job he's sure he's on the verge of getting. I could write the script.

 

My (non) conversation with DH: A demonstration of disengagement

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A bit of background:

DH's sister, in her mid-70s, has some health issues that requires her to live in an assisted living facility. A year or so ago, she made some legal-type changes, including setting up a trust for her own care. She appointed SD and SD's cousin as co-trustees.

It was a terrible idea. SD and Cousin do NOT get along. I don't know the details about their falling out, but I do know SD is a control freak and displays extreme jealousy whenever she feels like someone else is getting more attention. She is competitive in this way with even her own brother. 

O/T Adults Paying Rent

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There have been several posts about adult skids paying rent (or not paying rent) when living with a parent. I'm all for treating adults as adults and making sure they contribute in some way -- rent, responsibilities, something.

But it reminded me of the time my adult brother moved from HisTown back to Hometown when he accepted a senior-level position at a good company (meaning he was being very well paid). He asked to move in with our Mom temporarily, while he found he own place and could get his family moved. She agreed.

Skidville Wonderland, anyone?

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To the tune of Winter Wonderland, of course.

Skid bells ring, DH is listening

In the house, they are whispering

The plans are all right,

If we bring more tonight

Walking into skidville wonderland.

 

Gone away is my sanity

Replaced with pure profanity

We sing a skid song, as we go along

Walking into skidville wonderland

 

In the living room, we will open presents

And pretend that it’s with pure intent

They’ll say thank you Daddeee

He’ll say nothing

Sure, DH, I'll handle all the hard stuff while you go chasing after your adult kids again

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I've posted before about DH's kids ordering him around. They punish him if he doesn't "obey." It's gotten MUCH worse since DH's sister has been having some significant medical issues.

Brief recap: DH's sister (Auntie) lives about five hours from us. DH's brother lives about five minutes from Auntie, and the brother has all power of attorney -- legal and health care. DH and skids are very close to Auntie, and I like her too. She's been wonderful to me. I have no problem with DH making the trip to help out as he needs to or wants to. Totally supportive.

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