Question...
I'm not sure if this is just a California thing, or if all states require car insurance now, but it is against the law to drive without it here.
DH asked BM if she had car insurance and told her he wanted proof before she drives with SS in the car. She doesn't have it. So he isn't letting her pick him up from school until she gets it.
What do you guys think? Knowing her history... is this something you would do as well?? Or did he go to far?
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Every state I've lived in (a
Every state I've lived in (a bunch) has required proof of insurance to obtain a license plate. Of course that doesn't hinder SS30 who has a car that he drives but has no driver's license, insurance or current car tag. Don't know how he gets away with this.
Baby Mama will not let SS drive with the baby in the car. She at least has some sense.
I don't think your DH is going too far.
I'm just curious what his
I'm just curious what his reasoning is for wanting proof of insurance? I don't imagine that having insurance will make her a better driver or that SS will be more safe with her in the vehicle than if she didn't have it. Is your husband worried that he could somehow be liable if something happened? I'm in Canada so I'm not sure how things work in the states.
If she gets stopped she could
If she gets stopped she could end up arrested with the car impounded. Not something you would want a child to go through.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
^^^Exactly^^^
^^^Exactly^^^
NJ it is required to have car
NJ it is required to have car insurance. They will impound your car if you're caught without it. I wouldn't let my kids drive in anyone's car without insurance crackhead or not!!!
Against the law to drive
Against the law to drive without insurance here also. Here you are supposed to have that proof in your car at all times.
DH is being a good parent. Being a bio parent does not mean BM gets to break the law and drive child uninsured.
Nope, not going too far.
Nope, not going too far.
No he's not. There is A LOT
No he's not. There is A LOT more to this. GO read her blogs. BM is a crackhead/meth whatever. She's a hot MESS!!!
You obviously haven't read
You obviously haven't read any of her past blogs.
He and OP are protecting this kid and he needs it. BM is a meth head who lives in her car or in a crack house.
Not all things are equal when it comes to visitation and COs.
You obviously haven't read
You obviously haven't read any of her past blogs.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Pretty much, that and her SS doesn't really care to see BM
there is no legal reason to
there is no legal reason to withhold visitation....that's the bottom line.
Would it be a good idea? probably. Would I do it? Probably not. I like to have clean hands. I would file a motion seeking to preclude parenting time until such time as the car is insured....
but I follow the rules like that....
I think it's just one more
I think it's just one more thing on the list of reasons she shouldn't be alone with him.
It's another example of her incredible irresponsibility.
BM won't change anything in her life, it seems her rock bottom is very very low and she hasn't reached it yet.
I agree with you, which is
I agree with you, which is why I would work to change the rules.
Notsobad, her rock bottom
Notsobad, her rock bottom apparently has a basement. And possibly a bomb-shelter under that, and an underground tunnel with a direct passage to Satan himself }:)
I don't disagree with that. I
I don't disagree with that. I just can't do it on my own. DH has to pull the trigger on that one. He's good in so many ways, but following through on this, he has ALWAYS lacked.
Your BM is an idiot.
Your BM is an idiot. However...does it state in to CO that she has to have insurance on her car? If not, your DH could be making a terrible mistake. Be very careful. I would hate for this to come back and bite your DH in the butt.
I don't think the court would see it as a reason to withhold the child from his mother.
No the CO doesn't state that.
No the CO doesn't state that. I'm not terribly worried about it. She is scared to death to go to court. She is a junkie.
She doesn't utilize her
She doesn't utilize her custody time with him. She just sees him when she feels like it if she can squeeze him in to her schedule. You know, that part time job at the bowling alley has gotten quite demanding! She sees him about an hour a week IF that. She disappears a lot, she smokes meth, and she is an absolute psycho. So, I don't think there really is OVERSTEPPING, but that's my opinion on our matter. I was just curious what the people that have followed my story thought.
I appreciate all opinions. Though none of them mean we will change what we are doing 
I think your DH is doing the
I think your DH is doing the right thing, and I think you're doing an amazing job of raising a delightful young man. The world need more good men in it!
Thank you. It's always been a
Thank you. It's always been a fear of mine that he would choose the easy way out in life and follow in her foot steps. But, I think she has removed herself so far from his life that he resents her for it and will be the exact opposite of what she is.
THIS - not a reason to
THIS - not a reason to withhold her parenting time, such that it is, BUT I would have no problem alerting the local police that an insurance absconder is driving on such and such street.
Like Mustang, I live in Michigan. She's right - minor traffic violation that is cured by going to the local police station with the ticket and proof of insurance. Not a big deal.
What would be a big deal is withholding parenting time based on no car insurance.
BS - can your husband do the transport for a while - on his terms, of course - until such time as she gets insurance on the vehicle?
He's in the middle of travel
He's in the middle of travel season. He isn't even in the state.
She won't get insurance. She has no desire to be a functioning adult. She could ask her MOM to help with transport and we would allow that, but she avoids her mom because she is a meth head. She had the nerve to ask if MY mom would help her with transportation today. NOPE. Not happening.
well, it's not like she is
well, it's not like she is going to take him to court, right??
Man, she is such an idiot...
Oh, no, she won't take him to
Oh, no, she won't take him to court. Not a chance. She knows she will have to be drug tested and have supervised visits if we do that.
LMAO Meth Mary it is!!!! And
LMAO Meth Mary it is!!!!
And that is kind of the avenue we were going, any excuse... you get me, I like that.
The vehicle must be insured.
The vehicle must be insured. But the driver doesn't have to have a policy. Like if the Bm is driving her so car and he has insurance then she is covered
The vehicle must be insured.
The vehicle must be insured. But the driver doesn't have to have a policy. Like if the Bm is driving her so car and he has insurance then she is covered
The vehicle is hers, and she
The vehicle is hers, and she has no coverage.
Which means she also has no
Which means she also has no way of paying any medical/compensation if she causes a vehicle accident with bodily/property injuries to anyone else. A meth head driving a vehicle with zip for liability coverage.
He doesn't have the RIGHT to
He doesn't have the RIGHT to withhold custody, but it is necessary in this case. She doesn't have the juevos to take him to court. So I'm not really worried about that.
It would be a lot different if SS were asking to see her, or making an effort to keep in contact with her. At this point he wants nothing to do with her and is always looking for an out to have to be with her. He doesn't like her lifestyle, he doesn't want to be around it.
It's also against the law in
It's also against the law in my state. I think it's a very serious concern since someone mysteriously stole her car the other day. Obviously the friends she has and hangs around are not good people and SS should never be around them or her while she's in that type of friendship. My DH cares about stuff like this such as making sure BM has SS's car seat whenever she picks him up in a stranger's vehicle or if she sends someone who might not know he needs it. To defend him though, when he and BM first split up she had a 6m old SS strapped incorrectly in his carseat which was also not properly secured nor rearfacing because BM was too drunk to do it correctly. Atleast someone else drove her to drop SS off to DH that night.
i'M in Florida and it is
i'M in Florida and it is required to have insurance. If you quit paying the insurance company notifies the DHSMV and your license get suspended. Now I worked for the police department and Sheriff's office here and you can absolutely go to jail for driving on a suspended driver's license.
Thanks, I backed his decision
Thanks, I backed his decision 100%. I just had a split second of "did we go too far" but with her, we just never know what to expect. She got pulled over and her car searched in SS's school parking lot a few months back. My mom took a picture of it. Picture made me laugh, but also is good for evidence if we ever need it
It's crazy to me that there
It's crazy to me that there could be states where you don't have to have insurance. If you hit someone, who pays for the damage? What if you hurt or killed someone?
In Canada you have to have insurance. First offence is a $2,500 fine, car impounded. Then add jail time for a second offence. You have to have proof of insurance to register a vehicle. Police will regularly pull people over to double check your reg and insurance.
we should have included that.
we should have included that. ...
You can always do the
You can always do the exchanges at the police station. I'm sure that you could get an officer to come out when she gets there to check to make sure the vehicle is insured. Asking an officer to come to your home might not be taken as well by the police because they "have better things to do".
I would tell the BM that because DH is concerned about her insurance issue that you will need to meet at the local sheriff/police station and that you will be asking the officers to check her vehicle for insurance coverage. If she has no coverage, the child doesn't leave in the vehicle with her. She is welcome to bring another driver/car, but they will also be asked to prove it. So, no denying visitation but I believe you could (if taken to court and that's unlikely) that you were not denying visitation but were acting in the best interest of the child. I mean, the courts wouldn't expect you would have to turn over your child to a person that was drunk out of their mind.
I would love to be able to do
I would love to be able to do this. The issue is, DH is out of town A LOT. Usually on her "days" (which she doesn't utilize) I have SS. I am his main caregiver. But I also work. She always wants to see him right after school. I am at work at that time (like most adults) So I don't have time to meet her at the police station.