The Room
I've been ignoring SD12s room for a LONG, LONG time. Since the summer.
DP has asked her who knows how many times to clean it, with a sweet "Yes Daddy!" answer and he's over the moon and never follows up. I remind him, he says he'll take care of it.
But it smells now.
And then she lied to my face about cleaning something up this weekend.
I told DP last night what happened, and said, "She does NOT get to lie to me. She may get away with it with you, but not Cover. If you do not take care of that room tomorrow, and that includes going through her dresser drawers and closet - everything - I will take care of it myself when I get home tomorrow."
Line in the sand drawn.
I'm done with it. My house, my responsibility...if kid isn't made responsible, I'll take it over and no one will like it. The trash bags for EVERYTHING not in it's place when I get home tonight are at the ready. Done asking - I don't want infestations of any bugs/critters since the weather is now getting warmer and I don't want to think about the smell when that room heats up.
I already took over monitoring the SDs bathroom, DP has been cleaning that up when I ask, or the SDs when I am down there (somehow I'm always around doing laundry when they get out of that shower...) and can check to make sure they've cleaned up at least appropriately. Told DP that if he doesn't I most certainly will and he's got nothing he can do about it. I'm not having my house a filthy pit. I don't clean it but I make sure it's done. I also moved all my good towels from the general linen closet up to our closet since SD12 uses all their towels, but never washes them, they don't get to use MY good towels for the master bath. You don't have bath towels? OH, too bad.
I found my comfort zone! I can make sure things regarding house are clean in general (like the upstairs is) but personal issues like if SD12 doesn't brush her teeth any longer (true story), or wants to wear pajamas that are so dirty they are turning gray (from light blue), not my problem.
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Comments
what about that woman who
what about that woman who bagged up everything in dark plastic bags and then her child had to pay $25 a bag not knowing if it had soccer gear in it or trash? I thought about doing that with my own kids but really my problem child is my year and half year old. She is such a mess maker!
I'm kicking myself for not
I'm kicking myself for not taking pictures last night when I was in there!
ASS's bedroom has nothing on SD12...
On the other hand, if DP cleans it I'll be surprised so maybe pictures tonight....
I already know there's rotten food in old school lunch bags, I mean really, really rotten (from before the holidays), broken glass, smashed toothpaste tube, empty chip and candy bags, overflowing trash with dirty tissues, dirty underwear, dirty dishes with food remains - like bowls 1/2 full of melted, crusty ice cream, masses of dirty linens and towels, etc. All this stuff smells.
And I'm certain she's going to be one of those SDs with women's tampon/pad disposal issues and I'll be all over that in a heartbeat.
Ok, but does SD12 have
Ok, but does SD12 have FINGERNAIL AND TOENAIL CLIPPINGS on her dresser?
Because ASS does.
minus the toothpaste and dirty dishes, it's the same damn room.
Too bad she's not older - we could introduce them.
She has her fingernail
She has her fingernail scissors out (or her sister's, it's not clear) so she's either trimmed them on her desk or is using them as actual scissors...because I don't have any scissors in the house they can use because they keep losing SCISSORS...But I'm betting the trimmings are on the desk or around the desk. And she doesn't cut her toenails so that's not a fair comparison.
lol! Well, I think if you
lol!
Well, I think if you can't SEE them then you can't prove they are in there.
ASS'S fingernail and toenail clippings are all over his dresser.
And, no, I am not impressed that he can bend his leg that high.
IT'S GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
oh, no one in my house is allowed to have scissors, either. they lose them all the time. It's unbelievable, isn't it??
I ALWAYS wear slippers in the
I ALWAYS wear slippers in the house. Even if I didn't, I would NEVER walk into ASS'S room without protective clothing.
I DO have a canister vacuum
Yes, I wear slippers with a
Yes, I wear slippers with a HARD SOLE on them.
I used to have a canister vacuum then DP bought us a Roomba. It's my best used cleaning appliance other than my dishwasher. I hate vacuuming. The catch is DP has to clean it; they require a little more upkeep than a regular vacuum but I don't have to push the thing around.
Love that idea of bags for $
Love that idea of bags for $ but SD12 doesn't get an allowance so she never has cash but for birthday money.
My plan is to bag up ALL of it, including bowls of melted ice cream and glasses of water - all still full, put it in the garage for disposal. If SD12 and DP want to clean up, go for it, take the crap out of the bags.
I already have a huge box of SDs stuff from our move that SDs never went through in spite of multiple reminders that's going to donation next month...with brand new items of clothing and school bags in it (hmmmmmm, actually I might sell some of that stuff....).... }:)
I'm going to have to follow up on what DP does if he "cleans" the room.
All the bedding that's been on the floor for months (after being walked on) also needs to be washed - I'm betting he just picks it up and puts it into the linen closet dirty.
That is HILARIOUS Jasper!
That is HILARIOUS Jasper! You are kidding right?
"Chores" is not a word in our household unless Cover mentions it and DP turns white with the thought of actual work to be done by his precious darlings...
OMG - we are married to the
OMG - we are married to the same man.
Chores? Chores? We don't need no stinking chores.
Good for you. A messy house
Good for you. A messy house drives me crazy.
See here is the problem...
See here is the problem... she's 12 and your DH has allowed this to go on since the beginning of time. You are fighting an uphill battle. SD18 was the same way when she was living in our house (she came to us at 14)... her room was a filth hole. When she first moved in DH would clean it FOR her because he didn't want to rock the boat with her just moving in and it wasn't her fault because she lived in filth her whole life at GBMs(read this with the smarmiest tone you can connote) whatever. Well, then after a couple of months, and a couple of unwrapped used tampons later, DH decided to get on her about cleaning her sty.. but she just ignored him or half ass "cleaned" it but then within a day it was trashed again. I remember a couple of times that DH came to me and was like "Ya know SD cleaned her room all on her own today, I didn't even have to ask her!" (Clap clap, giddy smile)
Well, I should think that a fucking 16 year old would be capable of this without getting a participation trophy but that's none of my business.
When SD moved out last year, MIL offered to come and pack up her room since the stuff was all going in their SUV anyway, as MIL and FIL where the ones who were driving her to Aunt J's. It took MIL FIVE hours to clean/pack SD room. FIVE HOURS for one room!
When BS6 started to be old enough to pick his toys and such up, I would ask him to clean up his mess. Of course he would argue with me, tell me he was too tired, procrastinate etc. I'd calmly tell him that was fine, but if I had to pick the stuff up, it would be going straight into the garbage. The farthest I ever had to go with that was walking over to the pantry and grabbing a garbage bag out of the closet and heading for his stuff. He knows I kid not. He picks up his shit. It's really not rocket science.
Yep, Daisy. That's exactly
Yep, Daisy.
That's exactly why.
And why I'm done being patient.
It's funny because SD10 is a neat-freak. She gets upset when things are NOT clean.
She loves to learn how to clean things, even to the point of wanting to know how to clean my cast-iron pans one evening, after I told her she didn't need to help.
SD10s room needs to be gone through but at least her things are neatly stacked and out of the way and there's never any rotting food (rotting science experiments are another matter...).
I'll very nicely take him to
I'll very nicely take him to her room so we can finish the job together and/or go through where he put stuff.
He listens to me, but his follow through isn't always there, which he admits.
He knows I'm at my wits end.
Well, if he doesn't do it
Well, if he doesn't do it all, and he refuses to help any longer ("I'm too tired" excuse) then the bags come out...nice to a point.
we have a problem with our
we have a problem with our dishwasher. It seems that no one but me and DH are actually smart enough to figure out how to open the door and load it. Wait, it's more than that - apparently we are the only two who can figure out whether or not the dishes are dirty or clean.
Wait, it's more than that - it must be that we are the only two who can read, because I specifically ordered one of those "clean/dirty" signs that is affixed to the front of the damn dishwasher. You slide the panel back and forth - to the right for dirty, to the left for clean. It's not hard.
I no longer touch the dishes. I have had it. I load my own dishes and leave the rest for DH. He is convinced that they "forget."
Uh huh. Every single time?
No matter, I no longer touch anyone's dishes but my own.
LOL - If I'm there, those
LOL - If I'm there, those other people know how to use the dishwasher. If not, apparently it magically disappears and a "housekeeper" is assumed to be hired for nothing to do the dirty work.
If there are too many dishes for the dishwasher (the appliance) to wash at one time, DP gets frustrated. Then he starts doing dishes by hand, which can involve slamming things around. Including glass, ceramics and crystal. Our glass inventory is slowly dwindling and many of our bowls/plates have chips in them (newly purchased a year ago).
I was advocating going to the thrift store for ALL our kitchen needs but DP thought it was an awful idea. SO I bought all our glassware there instead and left the rest of the dishes/silverware up to him...he's now in agreement that replacements will all be purchased from the thrift store and who cares if things match or not? I just don't want to be serving guests with chipped and cracked dishes.
So in light of this, I have begun washing breakables myself to save myself the aggravation (and to save my precious good wine glasses) and leaving unbreakables for DP to wash. It is working for us!
The girl is lucky I am not
The girl is lucky I am not her SM, and your DH is lucky I am not his wife. I would have not under any circumstances tolerate this kind of mess in my home. No way. All of her stuff would in the bin, and she's have the bed, one duvet, one pillow, one set of sheets - that's it. Room inspection daily, any rubbish taken out immediately and anything out of place - you have 5 minutes to put it away or it's going in the bin. Sheets to be washed weekly - I would strip the bed and shove them in the wash, she can handle the rest (or sleep on the bare floor). Any complaints from DH and I would sweetly remind him 1. Just exactly who is being a pig and 2. Who provides the s@x. Just sayin'...