Not the EX.. It's the strange MIL
Just curious of other options ..
My Mother-in-law is constantly openly talking about my husbands ex. They dated for 6 months and have NO children together. We have been together for almost 6 years and you would think it would have faded out by now but it's still a continual habit for her. His ex is 28 and she is 52, the MIL and ex did not know each other before they dated for that short time. She continuously hangs out with her, inviting her to the wine nights she host's with her friends and such. This is nothing new but even from the beginning before I knew this, I would invite her to hang out with me, cook, shop..etc..all things we both like but she never has taken me up on the offers. She's never tried to hang out 1 on 1 and declines every invitation I give her. Not to mention, I'm never invited to anything she is doing. There is no effort, wich is fine, I've excepted it But she constantly hangs with the ex.there is always pictures posted and talk of how much fun it was. We have never had any problems with each other. Her son is great, he's taken care of and happy. anyone else find this odd?
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I think it's more about MIL's
I think it's more about MIL's friendship than any perceived "issue" of liking DH's exgf over you. Think you're seeing ghoulies where there are none.
First thought: My ExMil
First thought: My ExMil never did the shopping for baby things with me, or lunch or much of anything with me. Holidays, birthdays, deaths, emergencies were good. I've known her for almost 30 years. From the outside I thought I was doing the right things for a DIL: career, care and feeding of her son and then grandson, encouraging regular contact with the grandparents. Earlier this month my BS casually mentioned that "G-Ma & G-Pa have always thought you were a bit weird."
Admittedly, I was a bit hurt when BS tossed that out and blustered mentally; then I remembered the time MIL was visiting us and rummaged around in the refrigerator to see what I was planning for dinner. (I was at work). She found the placenta from my mare who had just foaled. We're talking spring in Texas with heat/humidity & rot, so I refrigerated it until the vet could check it out. Seriously!! No wonder they think I'm weird.
Second thought: My mother prefers to hijack my friends, my causes, my adventures. My mom is a lovely, strange woman who really is not that good at inventing adventures for herself or making friends, ... so she tends to adopt mine.
Tossing it out there. Maybe your MIL gravitates towards different styles of people? Maybe your MIL is happy to have an already vetted friend introduced into her life. Less work involved.
Rooibos tea.
Rooibos tea.
Or, the English high tea with
Or, the English high tea with cucumber sandwiches ... I remember learning to tie my shoes while bored spitless at a high tea --- I escaped to the foyer and sat in an odd chair reciting: "... and then the Indian ran around the rock, dove into the cave ..."
What I mean to say is that it
What I mean to say is that it doesn't matter what style of tea you share or if you go shopping together at the nearest mall and have regular lunch dates; sometimes, MIL/DIL styles don't mesh. Some of the difference is colloquial, some personality, some idiosyncratic, some just thoughtless. Sometimes, people meet friends of other people and just hit it off.
I 100% agree with this. I
I 100% agree with this. I cannot stand my MIL. However her and Jabba have maintained a very close relationship despite everything Jabba has done. It does not bother me any more. A MIL/DIL relationship is not a necessity and is not always a possibility.
Banana beer?
Banana beer? Chabuku-shake-shake
Gonna have to ask one of the
Gonna have to ask one of the White Fathers riding along on his "piki-piki" preaching against it. Sally, I'm so old school that I'm moldy. Just remember vats of that stuff and someone popping up all proud 'cuz they had Chibuku-shake-shake in a bottle.
My wine-in-a-box nowadays wins the competition.
I live in Colorado, USA, now
I live in Colorado, USA, now ... "grass-rolling" has a completely different connotation here with legal marijuana.
Back then? I was living more rondoval.
What are you doing up at 3am?
What are you doing up at 3am?
No, BS-now 14 ... cut his
No, BS-now 14 ... cut his hand when the lightbulb above his loft bed exploded tonight ... so now, 2 cats, one dog, and one boy occupy my bed, and I'm out on the couch.
Slow on the uptake there.
Slow on the uptake there. Happy banana.
Dang. Sorry, OP for diverting your post. Just don't get as much interaction with our STepTalker's overseas as I'd like.
Did MIL like the ex as much
Did MIL like the ex as much when she was dating her son?
There are women who can't stand (are jealous) of women that their sons date, only because they are women that their sons are dating. They don't like girlfriends/wives when they are taking their son's attention away from them, but as soon as that's not an issue, suddenly they're best friends.
She obviously can do what she wants but I'm sure nobody else wants to hear about it. It is quite rude to her son and to you.
THIS. And I would never give
THIS. And I would never give MIL fodder for gossip. I had to get on DH about blabbing our private business to his mom who would immediately run to BM with it
She was not a fan of hers
She was not a fan of hers when they dated. The kicker here is that my husband and the ex broke up because she cheated on him. I actually forgot to add that in original post. His family knows she cheated on him. I'm just confused as to where the loyalty is to her son? He was really into this chick. I just find it odd. If my mother was close to my ex that cheated on me (to the extent of hanging out intentionally ) I would be just as confused as my husband is.
This is not uncommon, believe
This is not uncommon, believe it or not. I have come across this before here and in real life.
My DH's ex wife cheated on him (that is the least of what she did to him) and DH's sister, his niece and nephew, all claimed they hated her. However, it wasn't long after we got together that they were befriending her. And I had been friends with his sister for 10 years before I even met DH, so it was not that they didn't like ME. Granted, BM can talk a good talk but after what she had done to DH, I can't believe any of them ever talked to her again. It also had nothing to do with SD because they didn't care about seeing her.
It was odd and it changed my friendship with DH's sister and his relationship with all of them.