Been awhile but could use some advice from bio moms and step moms
Ok on my phone so sorry for Grammer and bad paragraphs lol but could use some advice.and I tend to ramble. so maybe too long fyi. I'm not trying to be a hard ass to my SD13,but if I don't do something I can for see an issue.
My SD who dh has full custody of and we do get along great normally and try to treat her as my bio and teach her responsibilies. She does do great, high honors and great with her brothers. But since we got her phone for her she was told she was to do the laundry. (I help cause I know the life sucking feeling when it's all on you. ) she understood and saw it more like a job to earn it (both dh and I couldn't have a cell phone if we didn't pay for it)
Latley she has been slacking. Yes dryer has been broken so I step in too..hang dry yuck.. She will wait last minute or say sorry I forgot. Anyways what I need advice on is. If your bio or skid slacked on a choir to earn something would you take the privilege or change the chore to something she would do but didn't like as much... I'm thinking dishes every night after dinner. (We do not have a dishwasher in our new house yet.) I really want to mean it like she is demoted (that would upset her she is a high achiever). I don't want to upset the already moody but we'll behaved teen..something needs done if her lil Bros don't have clean pant ya know wah F I mean. But I also don't want her to turn on me. And all of a sudden think I am just a mean step mom.
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Parenting isn't about fair.
Parenting isn't about fair. Life isn't fair. If parenting was about fair, kids would grow up and be suprised by real life. That wouldn't be fair to the kids. Parenting is a lot more that making sure no one gets more cookies than the other. Plus, kids aren't exactly created equal either. It would be pretty silly to treat a 12 yo boy with Down's syndrome the same as a 16 yo girl with autism the same as 5 yo fraternal twins, one with ADHD and the other with an unnatural attachment to his Spiderman suit.
Wouldn't it?
I'm sorry, I'm getting
I'm sorry, I'm getting confused. What makes you think that this is a situation of girls being dumped on?
So the alarm over the OP
So the alarm over the OP dumping all the work on the girls/SD is because SD is doing a chore that the family relies upon, including the boys who need clean pants? Doing dishes or cutting the lawn or sweeping are all chores that the entire family also relies upon. Chores are an important tool to teach children that they belong to a group, with responsibilities and benefits. Reminding the child of that is not dumping.
Or did you mean something else, because that does sound thin.
This is really strange.
This is really strange. You're posting several comments that are your thoughts about the situation that you invented in your head and are talking about like it's happening?
No reason to think this kid is getting dumped on but you are talking about it as if it happened because *if* it did it would be easier to dump on a kid who isn't yours?
No reason to think girl has a weekly chore and the boy does lawnwork 3 months a year but you are talking about it as if it is the case because it *can* end up that way?
I got really distracted by these comments thinking I must have missed something, but it was all stuff you made up?
Well, you say you want more
Well, you say you want more information in the same comment that you say it sounds like the OP dumps a lot on the SD, that all work should not be pushed on girls.
So that's why I'm getting confused. If you saw something in the blog/previous blogs why you think OP is dumping all the work on SD, then please explain because I'm missing it. But if you didn't see something then I'm really confused about why you're talking about it.
?? :?
Even the best teenagers are
Even the best teenagers are the most forgetful creatures on the planet. And yes, they will try to "forget"about a chore. Happens in my home all the time.
When I'm trying to get them to remember something, I put a note on the bathroom mirror in red ink so they can see it every day. I write something nice on it, a joke or a smile and then the chore that they need to remember.
And even with the note up you'll still have to remind her. When she forgets, give her a big hug tell her go to the bathroom and look at your note and then get to work baby.
OK so are you expecting this
OK so are you expecting this girl to do the laundry for the whole household all week and hang it out to dry? That is for 2 adults, 1 teen and 2 little boys. 5 people? By herself?
I would break the chore down for her. She can either a)Do the washing hang it out b) fold it all. Expecting her to do it ALL is a little too much. Or she can be in charge of dishes. I hope the older son is picking up chores as well.