I’ve been with DH for 4.5 years. Married 2.5 years. We’ve split 3 times. The longest was for about 4 weeks. Our relationship in the very, very beginning was incredible…then we moved in together after 10 months….and reality struck.

It was hard. It still is sometimes. In 2009, I had two successful IVF attempts, each to be followed by miscarriages (DH had a vasectomy during his first marriage). Hence, no bios for me.

Before DH, I was the quitesential Independent Woman. Never married, no kids, lots of relationships in my 20’s, starting my career, but all the time, wanting a family.

What am I getting at here? I’ve been on Steptalk for at least 3 years. I’ve gotten incredible advice. At times, I think I was addicted to it.

I’m in such a better place now than I was 2 years ago. I think ST is partly responsible for that. Filtering, and gathering the good advice…..and I’ve gotten a lot of pearls of wisdom from some very, very smart women.

For Valentines Day treat, I took my SD10 to get a manicure. We had our nails done, then went to a coffee shop next door for a steamer and latte. It was really nice….we laughed, we joked at how completely filthy the nail place was and how we’d never go there again…. She was telling me about a time when her BM took her to get a manicure last year and when DH picked her up, the manicurist asked BM if DH was her boyfriend? Husband? SD and I joked about how that must have been “awkward!”. Then I asked SD….”Do you sometimes wish that BM and DH would get back together?”. “No” she said, without hesitation….”because I wouldn’t have you”.

It was a Disney moment that I wasn’t expecting.

What’s the point of this blog…..I really don’t know. I spent such a long time in such a depression, hating my life, hating who I was in the family dynamic. I think I’ve struck the balance of “disengaging” in responsibility/expectations…but staying engaged in the family…successfully and I don’t think I could have succeeded, without Steptalk. Its the only way my marriage/family works.