Yes, but maybe not until after the funeral (to avoid any theatrics)

My DH's oldest daughter is estranged from him but is in contact with his family via FB (you know, how NO relationship looks like a close, loving one to those who don't know any better), so she would find out through them. Otherwise, I wouldn't waste any energy trying to contact her (we have no contact number or address for her and don't have FB).

I would tell my SD24, she has not been completely alienated from him, just enough to make their relationship a little awkward.

Whether you love them or hate them they are his spawn. I'd would tell them myself so they can't say I didn't. Call them and if they don't answer or hang up on you then leave a message giving them the time and day of the funeral arrangements or memorial service. If they hate you now nothing you do will change that so you might as well be a good person for your own self and do good by your DH. Tell them, attempt to tell them; what they do with the info is on them.

I'm on good terms with SS so I would make sure to pass on the message to him and he would then relay it to his sisters. I wouldn't feel that I have to personally call each one.

If we didn't have any contact with any of them, I would make an effort to get the message to them.

I just feel like its the right thing to do.

Unless my DH said under no circumstances am I to speak of his death to his kids, otherwise I would make an effort.

I would only make the call AFTER the attorney had been called, locks to the house changed and he's been buried. And we don't have that bad a relationship with skid, it's skid's mother I don't trust.

I wasn't told when my bio father died earlier this year. I actually respect him keeping his illness to himself, it might have felt manipulative otherwise.

If I knew how to get in touch with the skids, I would tell them. I would also put them in the Obit maybe with a sentence about him not being able to be a part of their lives like he would have liked. I would definitely wait as long as possible, though, as I do NOT want BM to show up ANYWHERE because I might get myself hauled off to jail. I do not want that.

All three skids are PASed out now. OSS is in very late teens (19) and has been PASed out for seven years--the reunification attempt initiated by Chef back in spring of 2012 didn't go so well. Never heard from him again.

They'd probably pee/crap on Chef's grave then demand an inheritance.

We don't have this issue, however if we did, that is not the time for pettiness.

I would have a family member on H's side notify skid. She would be included in an obituary and the service.

Death levels the playing field in many situations. I would show kindness if she grieved and then walk away.

When we were growing up the neighbour's across the road from us broke up and divorced. The wife continued living in the house with her kids. When she died about 25 years later her ex put a funeral notice in the paper... LastName, Firstname. (dates) She was a wonderful mother to our children -Hisname

I think that this was a very kind and classy thing to do.

If my skids were PASed out, nope. After the funeral I would notify one of their relatives to pass on the news.

DH does not want a traditional funeral and burial. Should I out live him I will honor that. But I would probably do a memorial service for my sake. And no I would not include ss30. SS would be free to have his own memorial service if he wanted to.

BM did not tell DH when OSS died. So my whole perspective on this is "fuck them all".

yes I would. My Bio dad dies and I found out years later doing some family tree stuff and found his death certificate, I think it is important to let people know.