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Time for more changes

mommy0104's picture

Submitted by mommy0104 on Tue, 11/10/2015 - 3:00pm

It's not like I want to walk into my therapist's office and say "Hey, I'm an immature asshole, help fix me"..but I think that's where things are headed. When I think back on all the stupid, annoying, petty little things the skids do that piss me off, I realize..I'm a huge part of the problem. Sure, the skids are immature, whiny, spoiled, self centered, "the world revolves around BM" people..and BM is a bitchy, controlling whorebag, and DH is a tool that never puts his foot down..and I hate it all...BUT..and this is a really big BUT...I LET IT BOTHER ME! In my entire life, whenever I have went to school with, worked with, or just was around people that I didn't like, or didn't like their behavior, I was always mature enough to be able to deal with it..just ignore them..but for some reason, with the skids and BM..I just get so annoyed..it's like "Look at those bitches over there eating saltine crackers like they own the place". Yeah, there are some pretty big things that would bother anyone..but most of those things happened in the past and I can't change it..I've developed this annoying resentment that I just need to let go. I don't think I've ever been so filled with dislike before and I'm not quite sure how to turn it into something positive. Welp, I know what my next therapy session will be about..I'll admit though, it's hard admitting that I'm part of the problem. But, I will say, the skids and BM are no angels. I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to dislike them. Over the last 13 years, they've given me reason to not be their #1 fan..now, I just need to learn how to handle them better. Wish me luck..it's been a long 13 years and I'm tired of being angry. But with my dumb ass, it's not always as simple as a plain "just let it go". I've got a lot of mental work to do.

Comments

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Submitted by NoWireCoatHanga... on Tue, 11/10/2015 - 4:03pm

well in the first scenario you got to go home to the privacy and sanctity of your own home and leave the middle school mean girls at middle school. Now the middle school mean girls and the Queen Bee follow you home and you have no place to escape to. That is your world and your everyday environment and it affects you . Yes you can't sweat the small stuff. That's true. And You only get to Control you. That's True too. But sometimes you do need that peaceful place to retreat too and you don't and ya, That would bother most of us

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Tue, 11/10/2015 - 5:52pm

Oh resentment! How hard it is to overcome. It sounds like you are on your way. Hopefully, your therapist will be able to help you see things in a different perspective. When I catch myself thinking negatively, I literally tell myself that I choose to be happy. Sounds stupid but it works for me.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Tue, 11/10/2015 - 7:54pm

How old are the skids now? I assume that they are pretty old if you and your DH have been together for 13 years.

At some point (their adulthood) it's okay for you to just "let go". That does not have to mean banning them from your home (like I've done), but it can mean that they just become people that you occasionally interact with.

And when that happens there is ABSOLUTELY UNCONDITIONALLY NO Fing REASON why you have to put up with BM intruding in your life. Yes you may on occasion (graduation, wedding) have to be in her presence - but those things do not happen that often.

There are many things that I do not like about SS30's BM - but most are in the past. The only current one is her rabid homophobia. But I never have to see her - even when she lived just a few blocks away. So it really, really, really easy to keep her out of my life.