Why couldn't you or DH just take the older kids?

Why is a kid made to go back to bed at 7am?

I'm not even going to engage on the issues--which are plentiful--other than the peeing the bed. With a 5 year old, you might consider that it's happening willfully.

5 year olds like to stretch their proverbial wings, and defiance can sometimes manifest in strange ways. I would use some kind of Mat protector (normally I would say mattress protector, but whatevs), and he would be required to help me clean up his mess. I've found that when defiant little people have to literally clean up their own mess, they don't make them as much.

I don't want to be harsh, I can see you have a lot to deal with, but it seems that some of your problems are easily solvable. First, your husband needs to parent his own child. You did not make the 5 year old, you should not be dealing with pissy clothes, bedding, etc. Your DH needs to step up, bottom line. If he's not working, there's no reason he can't deal with the accidents in the morning. It sounds like he needs to reset his clock and stop staying up all night and sleeping during the day. Just because you're a SAHM doesn't mean everything falls on you. He is in essence a stay at home dad at the moment, so tell him to start helping you out and take control of his own son, period, dot.

Secondly, he needs a formal custody arrangement . No way would I put up with expecting my step kid to be there a week and two months later he's still there. Sorry to be blunt but that's bullshit. If the boy is to start school next year, no way will this non schedule even fly. And you need to get communication with the BM established with the courts, whether it be through email, text, Our Family Wizard or a good old landline, no way should BM be allowed to be incommunicado with a five year old child in the mix. What if there is some kind of emergency, how would you get a hold of her?

You really need to sit down with your DH and let him know how you feel. You're not the babysitter and it's not fair to you to leave you to deal with a child HE created while he sleeps. What if you weren't in the picture? Who would take care of the boy then? He's taking advantage of you and you're letting him. And your own children are losing because of him. That's not fair. Your kids need to come first as far as you are concerned. They didn't ask for this.

Good luck to you. It's a bad situation, but you can fix it by being firm and standing up for yourself and your children.

Sorry that you're having these problems, which are obviously serious. Have you looked at your priorities? Why do you have a special room with a computer, and internet access - but not beds for your children? Why do you have a car, with gas and insurance, and money for parking to drive 45 minutes to a haunted house - but no beds? Why is your DH up all night and sleeping all day when he could be keeping a normal schedule and be available for job interview or for on-call work?

It sounds like your family is living in poverty. That can really affect your ability to make good decisions and appropriate plans for the future. While you still have the computer and internet, do some reading about that https://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S37/75/69M50/index.xml?secti....

The best way out of your situation is a paradigm shift. If you feel like you're losing the game, change the game. Good luck.

This is your DH's issue, not yours. Make him deal with it AND with getting his kids to where they need to be. He is being lazy because he doesn't work.

WOW

I wonder if dad knows his kids are sleeping on the floor. I would be livid if I were paying CS each month and my kids didn't have beds. I would call CPS and fight for full custody.

I sure hope you and your husband are also sleeping on the floor.

You should seriously consider giving custody to your ex until you get your shit together. I can't imagine WHY he hasn't already taken you to court to take the kids except maybe he's got a wife who doesn't want to deal with you freaking out when your "income" is threatened.

Call churches, call shelters, they can help you find furniture and help you get on your feet if you WANT to.

I have to agree with what's already been said. It sounds like SS has very little stability in his life. Mom says she'll be back in a few days and then he has no contact with her for months. Who knows what kind of life he has when he's with her. A mother who abandons her child for months at a time probably has some issues of her own. The bed wetting is possibly a symptom of a larger emotional issue. It would be worth speaking to his pediatrician about so that a physical reason can be ruled out. Also, he's not quite 5. My SD5 wore pull ups at night until around that age because she's a deep sleeper and sometimes she had accidents. All kids are different, and boys can develop more slowly than girls.

Your children need beds. I don' think that can be stressed enough. Try Craigslist, Freecycle, Salvation Army stores, thrift stores, Savers, etc. Even friends on FB might have an old twin bed hanging out in the attic or the basement that they'd be willing to pass along if you post about it and let them know you're in need.

This group can be a great resource. Calling people "hypocritical assholes" is going to burn that bridge. An apology may be in order.