If this is going to really stress you out - don't go. You have only been dating 7 months, I don't think you should feel obligated to go to the event. Is there any chance you are being blamed for him deciding to file? If so, that could make things more difficult.

That being said, if you do decide to go make sure you dress appropriate to the occasion and have your hair and makeup done. That way you will not worry about how you look.

My suggestion would be to meet her shortly after you arrive. Either have DH introduce you or just walk up, extend your hand, and introduce yourself. Exchange a couple of sentences of small talk and then move away. That way you are in control and you don't have to keep looking out for her. Get it over with at the beginning and then enjoy yourself. As others have said, avoid her friends as much as possible, and if you do have to talk to them confine it to the weather.

You will be fine and it will not be near as bad as you think it is going to be!

SD was a teen when DH and I started dating. He didn't go to many events for SD, but when he did, he went alone. I didn't meet BM for over 3 years, and we were already married. We met at SD's high school graduation. It was terrible (sitting between the two of them while she provoked my husband and they bickered) so I made it clear that I will not go to anything like that again if I need to be anywhere near her. DH also gets moody around her, and I don't like being around him when he is like that. (When BM saw I was getting upset with him snapping at me afterward, she smirked and told me to get used to it. Uh, not in my marriage!)

Anyway, 7 months in and not even a "major" event...I would pass. If you want to go, just steer clear of the BM.

If you don't feel comfortable going, don't go. He should be supportive of your decision not to meet BM for the first time on "her turf".

Are his kids going to be there? If they're not, I'm just wondering what sort of social/party this is, and if he'd consider not going. Youth sports can be so over the top these days, where parents are made to feel like awful parents if they're not shelling out money and spending weekends on travel leagues.

Okay, stepping off my soapbox now.

If you go, just be prepared. I met our BM at a school function, and she's an extrovert and a teacher (in another district), so I could practically hear her marching around to the tune of "mother and teacher, two hardest jobs in the world" as she went around peeing on everyone.... er, talking to everyone. It was definitely a bit of a dominance display, though.

I was nervous and felt really out of place. I'm an introvert, and I'm not a parent, so this was not at all my scene. My SO introduced us, I smiled and said hi to her, shook her hand, and then she was off talking to other people. She never tried to get to know me, which is fine with me. She's not the type of person I'd choose to spend my time with. I got the sense she was nervous as well.

Just remember you're there to support SO, so stand by his side. Tell him going into it that you're nervous, and that you'd like him to keep an eye on you and not leave you standing on your own. Also have game plans for everything that could go badly - if someone is rude to you, if the BM makes a scene, etc. It could all go fine, but it's good to be prepared, just in case.

You'll want to tell your SO if you'd prefer he hold your hand, and all of that stuff. Basically you want to communicate clearly with him, because if you don't and expect him to read your mind, you will most likely walk away disappointed and resentful. So best to be clear ahead of time.

And just remember that he's going to feel nervous, too, especially if this is his first time bringing a lady friend to this type of event. He may act weird, you may catch him looking at BM, and it may have nothing to do with romantic attachments. They may still have a few co-dependent ties, and it may still matter to him what she thinks of him. It takes time for those things to fade away. Just don't worry about it too much if it happens.

And remember to look nice, but not like you tried hard to look nice. You know what I mean?

7 months is a decent amount of time, but it's not a LOT of time. If you aren't comfortable then don't go.

If you decide to go, then do just as you said you wanted to... support your boyfriend. Don't be over the top, but just as you would any other event with him. If you would hold his hand... then hold his hand. If you wouldn't, then don't. I think too much pressure is placed on us from the start to outshine the BM. Set the tone of this "relationship" early. Let her know that her existence weighs no importance on your relationship with your BF from the start. She is the kids mom, and that's it.

JMHO of course.

meh. this is no biggie really, unless she's already shown to be high-conflict, NPD or something.

i met dumbass within, i think, two months, at one of the kids' games. treat her the same as any other adult stranger you'll meet there. i let my dh take the lead, i wouldnt go around purposely trying to outshine or be up in any of the other parents' faces. he of course talked mostly with the other dads, and i sat next to dh and would occasionally chime in to the conversation.

dont exude any "sorry for existing, but i'm the 'other' lady". just do you, and be there for your hubby. instead of feeling like he's being given the hairy eyeball by the moms, he may feel more comfortable knowing you're right there by his side.