and another lovely little one step up and two steps back moment from this morning.

So, DH made a few tweaks to The List to make it more specific. I was feeling a little better on Saturday, so I asked DH if ASS had mentioned The List to him yet. In fact, yes, it seems that ASS said “so, are we gonna do this contract thing or what?” on Friday night. DH decided to head into ASS’s room with The List.

I was in the kitchen while this was happening, so while I could hear that they were talking, I couldn’t hear what they were saying. DH was in there for a long time, but he finally came out of ASS’s room. I asked him what happened and he told me that ASS was upset that there were no “requirements” for us. BINGO! Just as I predicted. DH said that he told ASS that it didn’t work that way, took back the list and then left ASS’s room. When I asked him what was going to happen next, he said he was trying to send the message that there was no room for negotiation and he was going to let ASS stew for a little while. Um, okay, dude.

Yesterday came and went. I was finally off the damn Vicodin, so I took a little drive out to Rockstar’s college town and took him to lunch. He is the midst of interviewing for internships for the summer (which will hopefully turn into offers upon graduation) and needed a new pair of shoes. We had a lovely time. When I got home, I watched a little football, did a little laundry and generally had a very nice evening.

This morning, however, was a different story. I came downstairs to find ASS, Baby Voice and Karate Kid in the kitchen. No big deal, right? BabyVoice and Karate Kid were at the table, and ASS was standing at the counter watching his toast in the toaster. I headed into the pantry to feed the cat and, of course, one of the pantry cabinet doors was open. I closed it and kept walking down the hall. I grabbed the cat bowls and walked back into the kitchen to find the toaster on the counter and ASS sitting at the table. Now, I love my kitchen, but the one thing it doesn’t have is very much counter space.

I turned to ASS – whose chief complaint, don’t forget, is that he doesn’t want to be ordered to do anything, he would prefer to be asked – and said very sweetly, “ASS, can you please put the toaster away so I can have a little space?” “NOT UNTIL I FINISH MY TOAST!” was the response. I asked again, “ASS, can you please put the toaster away?” “CAN’T YOU FUCKING WAIT?”

I headed upstairs, walked into our bathroom and ordered DH to go downstairs and deal with his son. He goes down to the kitchen, asks ASS what happened and ASS unleashed a fury of expletives at DH. Typically, ASS saves those nuggets for me, and I was surprised to hear him speak this way to DH. An argument ensues, culminating in DH throwing ASS’s plate of toast into his room and then physically moving ASS out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. I went about my business feeding the cat, making my coffee, making my lunch and generally ignoring the situation. When I was done, I went upstairs to hop in the shower.

DH is in the bathroom, and said to me, “why did you have to start something?” UM, EXCUSE ME???? “I didn’t start anything, DH, I merely did what he requested and ASKED HIM VERY NICELY to please put the toaster away so I could have some space. Why on EARTH are you angry at ME when YOUR kid was the asshole here?” DH said blah blah blah blah why can’t you just ignore it blah blah blah. “Because I get to ask people who live in my house to do things, dude. Without being sworn at and without attitude.”

Still not speaking to DH. Jerk…