Just want to scream!!
This is my first entry on this site, i am very happy to have found it. I need a place to vent my frusterations. I have two step children and no biological children (yet). My husband and I have full custody of his daughter and shared custody of his son, both have different moms. Our daughter's mother has nothing to do with her and refuses to pay child support. My sons mother refuses to get him more than 6 days per month yet we are required to pay $85 per week to her for child support, she is supposed to get him 4 days per week. I never really mind because i love both kids as if they were my oqn but qhen it all boils down, my hubby and i can not afford any extras in our life! We both work mandatory saturdays and both BMs dont work at all but they force me to pay a babysitter instead of watching/spending time q their kids!! Im stuck paying for all their clothing, before and after school care, saturday babysitters, as well as any and all school activities and functions. We've gone to court w my sons mom swveral times but they do nothing!! Please tell me there is a light at the wnd of the tunnel bc im starting to lose my mind!!
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Comments
I agree with what all the
I agree with what all the ladies have said... but here is another good tip... take a deep breath now practice saying the word, NO!!!! If she doesnt work why the hell would you need a sitter? unless there is Court order stating your HUSBAND has to pay for all to pay a babysitter, clothing, before and after school care then dont pay it, BM will though a hissy fit maybe take him to court thats when you show proof of how often you have the kids instead of her. oh and only communicate through emails or text so you have proof of conversations. BMs taking advantage of you and DH, just dont put up with it anymore.
Get proof he is with you most
Get proof he is with you most of the time, do the child support calculator, calculate BM earning min wage go take all this to court to have the nonsense stopped. You need a ton of proof!
And if it does not stop - dad need to drive the kid to BMs house and drop him off.
Document, document, document.
Document, document, document. Save all your receipts for the next four months and record all the days that stepkids' spend with bms. You can probably file for a court hearing in two months because it takes two months to be seen, but I would not go to court unless you have documented proof that you pay for everything and that you have skids all the time. CSS told dh that they review from the past four months, so that's why o would wait. You need to have physical proof.
I do stuff for my SS but not
I do stuff for my SS but not as a priority. My priority is to plan my f uture and my children's future. So I save first and everythign else comes later.
I hope you are planning for
I hope you are planning for YOUR OWN retirement. Please have a savings and investment plan for yourself because if you don't you will regret it. I promise. Plan your future.
I document everything, have a
I document everything, have a lawyer and have been to court for the last 3 years. He was never married to either of the mother's so there is not a divorce anything, I am his first and only wife. Every time we go to court for custody or child support the judge tells us to bury the hatchet. My STEP sons (for those of you uncomfortable with me not inserting step in front) bio mom absolutely refuses to get him. When he was in day care, she'd leave him there and ignore all calls and texts until they called us. Last year when my husband was out of town and she ASKED to keep him for the weekend, I woke up on Saturday to find her trying to open my front door to push him in my house! When i refused to take him and pushed the door closed she left him on my front porch!! When I called the police they told me that was OK because he lives with me half the time. It didn't matter that my husband wasn't home nor that she was the bio mom. I've had my STEP son and STEP daughter full time every single day (minus 3 weekends) since they moved in with me in 2011, When my STEP son was 4 months old any my daughter was 4 years old. I am the only mother figure they have known. And if I don't buy their clothes or food or paybtheir bills then they won't have anything. After child support insurance and taxes my husband brings home $200 a week. That one check doesnt even cover the power bill. He just got out of school in may so he's still the low man on the totem pole. I get frustrated because both of these women do not help with their kids and rely on me for everything. When my husband asks them for help they both say "you got married, you have two peoples income and two people to take care of (insert their kids name), I don't. I can't. Too bad. Figure it out." Getting a court date is a joke and by this point after 3 court dates my lawyer is now seeing what we have been talking about, literal pissing contest. No consequences to her ever. Its always a back and forth make up time crap and bury the hatchet, start fresh, give her another chance"!!
If you have the kids full
If you have the kids full time, why is he paying CS? Go to court and have it cut off.
Your DH is required to pay
Your DH is required to pay $85 for his son because the CO reflects BM has SS sixteen days a month and Dad twelve days. The CS enforcement won't be corrected until the CO is modified. There is nothing to 'bury a hatchet' over, and that answer doesn't even make sense in what you're telling us the case to be. Bury a hatchet over what? Dad approaches the court for a primary custodial change. That's not a 'hatchet' scenario request. Your lawyer seems to be worthless. What exactly has he/she filed and requested that has already been heard three times?