O/T: Another failed cycle

So have just been notified of my 3rd failed IVF cycle this week.To say I am devastated is an understatement! I can't bare to look at SS right now & have to leave the room when he is around as I feel like I am about to have a full blown panic attack. Please,please can any childless SM tell me how do you cope with skids when you can't have bios, I feel like I am drowning.I feel like such a failure as a woman.

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oh my.

oh my. (((hugs)))

counseling, support group, therapy, SOMETHING. do NOT try to handle this pain on your own.

I'm so sorry . I am in your

I'm so sorry . I am in your position, childless and about to turn 41. Miscarriage a few mths ago. It's not easy, I wish I could give you some reassuring words. All I can say is that you will one day somehow make peace with it because you have to- what's the alternative?
Fur babies can help to fill part of the gap left by the absence of bios. You long to have that unconditional love and bond? Focus that energy on yourself for a while- you deserve it. Hugs

Thank-you so much for your

Thank-you so much for your kindness ladies. I miscarried twins in March & it's a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.I have 6 Ragdolls & they are my babies who have got me through my darkest hours.notthemooma880 you are a bigger woman than me, I couldn't imagine having a child that is not biologically mine it that's probably because I have become so bitter & twisted because BM allegedly fell regnant whilst on the pill where we now know DH has severely low sperm count.I just feel such anger-if she was on fire I wouldn't piss on her!DH wants us to do IVF # 4 but I don't know if I can cope with the heartbreak.I am so angry at my body too for not doing what it is suppose to do!

OH sweetie. I am going to

OH sweetie.

I am going to tell you something, that I am sure you have heard multiple times.

I have THREE, not one. Not TWO, but THREE friends that were all trying IVF with several failed attempts. That had given up... and decided to adopt. And then ENDED UP PREGNANT ON THEIR OWN?

I swear the stress of IVF is more than most people can handle. I have 1 friend (my best friend) that has had 3 successful IVF's. Resulted in her twin 5 year old girls, her 4 year old son, and her 8 month old daughter. But more often, I have experienced friends that got pregnant on their own, once they stopped all of the medical interventions. Don't give up hope.

I am SO SO sorry! Like

I am SO SO sorry! Like others, I have also been in your shoes. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. All I can say is that as long as you feel able to keep trying, don't give up.

I was very lucky and eventually had bios, but I will never forget the hell I went through to get to this point. I was less and less able to bear SD the longer my infertility struggle lasted. I was also lucky that SD was not with us frequently, and bratty enough that DH didn't really care to be around her much.

My DH also has a very low sperm count. My RE (with baby pictures of her own kids on her desk) told me that even if I were fertile, we would have less than a 3% chance of ever having a baby because of my DH. (3 babies later, I'd like to know where she came up with those statistics) But knowing DH's count was so low, I had to constantly wonder if SD was even DH's! The only way I ever learned to tolerate SD was by having our baby.

I'm happy that your DH is willing to keep trying. Mine didn't want to try to begin with, and refused to try to find out why his count is so low. It was such a struggle doing it all alone except for his sample. I think I battled it for so long, I no longer know how to let go. I'm rapidly approaching 40, and now have children, but I never feel like saying I'm done trying.

After we had our first, my DH said we should schedule IVF for our second immediately, and I said to him that I didn't think I could emotionally handle IVF again, so I know how you feel. Infertility is so cruel.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is a loss. I think that you need to try and relax. Do some yoga, go for walks, meditate. I know a lot of friends who had difficulty conceiving, but once they stopped stressing they were able to conceive. Try not to give up because that will guarantee no babies. Maybe a break is all you need.

z3gitl DH has 50/50 custody

z3gitl DH has 50/50 custody so SS is here every single Tues & Weds & alternate wkends. Luckily not our wkend this wkend but I am dreading next week.I walked into SS room today to change his bedding & I felt my chest constrict & I was struggling to breathe.I sound like a crazy person,but can't help it.I am dreading Tues,when he is back here.I sound like an awful person but I can't help the way I feel it's so much more powerful than me.I honestly think if I am not meant to be a mother my marriage is over as I could never be a SM but not a BM.

I am so sorry! I completely

I am so sorry! I completely understand how you feel because I felt the same way!! I kept asking myself how DH could have a child with a woman he supposedly did not love, but we couldn't! And yes, just the skid's existence hurt...nevermind any other issues they may have.

I feel that I would not still be married to DH if things didn't end up the way they did. I know how you feel. I keep telling DH that I wish I could tell my old self not to hurt so much because it would work out. All I knew while going through it was that I would die trying if I had to. I don't know how I got lucky, but I will NEVER take it for granted.

I don't have much good advice after a failed cycle because my first weekend after was the worst. DH wanted to party and act like nothing was wrong, while I couldn't stand being around happy, drunk strangers while I was bleeding out my potential baby. We had such a horrific weekend that we couldn't even talk about it afterward. If I had to go through that again, I think I would have insisted on spending the weekend alone in my bedroom.

**HUGS**