DH finally got the lowdown on BM's recent antics which include an arrest for battery, leaving SD with her Ex-MIL and first ex-husband who's an alcoholic that she had to get a restraining order against, abusing her prescription meds, then taking her son's and finally buying them off the street. It seems her relationship with the on again off again boyfriend has been more volatile than we thought and the cops have been there numerous times for domestic disturbances and domestic violence, which culminated last week in her attacking him, him calling the cops then her trying to injure herself to claim self defense, which only blew up in her face when her BF got it on camera. Of course BM didn't disclose any of this info but SD6 told us that BM got arrested after the BF attacked her and she just went to the bathroom but the police let her go because she told them she had kids. Add that in to the mental instability of her untreated bipolar and the numerous guns in the home and you'd think that CPS would at least follow up! The woman DH spoke with actually said to him "but the guns are licensed." "And if the child isn't in immediate danger, we can't do anything" WTF?! Since when is it okay to be a drug addict, take your son's ADHD meds so he doesn't have any, repeatedly engage in acts of domestic violence, neglect your kids and after there's documentation of her temper, violent nature and mental instability, there's no cause for concern? Seriously?!

It's gotten pretty out of hand with her lately and from what SD6 had said about the boyfriend, DH had asked BM time and time again about the relationship and whether it posed any danger to SD. Of course BM lied and said everything was ducky and the famous "none of your business" but now she's telling DH that he can't speak to her ex because he's a danger to her and her family. Either way, it's a really screwed up situation that SD shouldn't be exposed to. DH is thinking about trying for full custody now instead of just a change of placement. It's still another two months until court but so far there's the change of placement, child support and three counts of contempt on the docket for that case. The daycare center that BM has SD in has has 30 licensing violations in the last two years and the "phonics tutoring" that she claimed to have signed SD up for through the daycare is recommended for kids ages 3+, SD will be 7 in three months. We're planning on having her tested to show where she's at educationally since she won't even try to read a book that's got more than four words on it. Going into first grade she should be able to read basic kindergarten level books! She's also got her second therapy apt tomorrow which BM wants to take her to. DH and I don't trust that she'll actually do so since she's blown off her eye exam twice, rescheduled her dentist appointment and hasn't taken her to the doctor in over two years so he's trying to set it up so he gets his week vacation time this week, that way SD can get another week of summer school and she'll be here so if or should I say when BM doesn't get here in time to take her to her appointment, I can do it.

All of the craziness and stress is taking it's toll on everyone. SD fell asleep at 6:30 Thursday night and didn't get up until we woke her at 7:30 the next morning. She's so sleep deprived at BM's and she doesn't listen when DH tells her how detrimental it is to SD. She won't even go talk to the pediatrician about how waking SD up multiple times throughout the night to keep her from wetting the bed doesn't help and interrupts her already limited sleep which causes health and behavioral problems. BS14 was talking about wanting to go see his father for a month just to get away from everything that's going on, DH is on the verge of losing his job, which I've had to go help with the last few weeks, He's taking on jobs that he can't handle without help and yesterday we didn't get home until almost 11. Since SD wasn't here it wasn't a big deal but it was a really long, ball busting day! Luckily DH has the next two days off, I got a "new" car after mine crapped out on the 4th and as hard as things have been DH and I haven't turned on each other. In any other relationship, I'd have been screaming about bad decisions and mistakes, pointing fingers which would have inevitably been pointed back, but we've held strong, which gives me hope. He's finally starting to realize just how bad things are with BM but also that he can't make decisions based solely on SD6, that we have to survive too and we have three other kids, who this is impacting and who have problems of their own.

SD12 has started calling me "Mom" (DH and I have been together 2 1/2 years). I don't know if BS14 will ever get to that point with DH, but I'm not pushing it, we've talked about it and I've told him it's up to him, if he wants to and feels comfortable enough, he can, if not he doesn't have to. On a side note, it seems so quiet here since we lost Wolf last month, crazy how two dogs and a litter of kittens can seem quiet but I miss her. I have done my best not to find a new rescue in need but one day, when all of this is behind us, I'll have quite a few.