Boundaries...BM may need to set them with DH!
Wow. Just wow.
DH told me tonight that starting this next school year when OSS is in HS in BMs suburb (17-19 miles from his office and he has one of those have-to-be-there jobs) that he going to have OSS walk to BMs house and he will get picked up from there on DHs nights.
Now DH got that idea from me because before DH I lived just blocks from DSs school so ExH and I agreed that DS would walk to my house as that was easier for him than remembering who would pick him up (and this was early elementary school). If ExH or I were late, DS just let himself in the house and waited.
Here's the part where it went sideways with DH. He's gotten offers from my mom and our retired neighbors to help with afternoon pickups for OSS. Uh...so BM is threatened by me and my mom, she is never in touch with the old neighbors and thinks DH has discussed their divorce (he has) with them. DH expects them (and me if I might help with a pick up) to go to BMs house! How uncomfortable will that be for everyone?! BM and OSS included!
I told him he can't do that and he told me that he can. The lawyer said that BM can't dictate how he handles drop off and pick up for HS. Um, true...but I think she meant if those happen at the high school. Your authority to dictate your drop off and pick ups on your days stops at BMs driveway. (Yes, I said that to him.) Just like she doesn't get to make decisions for here, you don't get to make decisions for her house.
He got upset but I held my ground. That is not right. He did come around when I asked him to think about how they all would feel trying to get OSS. Was there a neutral spot instead? Apparently the public library is close to the HS. OSS can go there.
Jeesh! Seriously?!
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Comments
The emotional obtuseness of
The emotional obtuseness of men never ceases to amaze me. It was ok with him so he figured it was ok for everybody. My own dh's favorite line is "that doesn't bother me." Never mind that it bothers every other sane person in the world!
Nope. Smaller city, the outer
Nope. Smaller city, the outer suburbs don't have city bus service.
Your first paragraph: exactly
Your first paragraph: exactly what I said to him! You see it too. Sometimes I wonder if BM has his brains, not his balls.
Your second paragraph: I agree with this, too, and also suggesting that the skids may want to spend weekdays at BMs and maybe he goes for extra weekend or summers for HS is met with anger and resentment. But remember, I actually like my skids. It's the reality though that they may want to be at the closer house...BMs.
It's also been happening that my DS wants to spend more time with his dad. We figured this would happen so we are letting it happen. I am closer to the HS for DS so may end up with the arrangement I suggested above for my own kid.
I'm with dad on this one The
I'm with dad on this one
The kid is in high school. Whoever picks him up can drive up and sit I the car(on a public street). The kid can walk out to the car. No one hasn't to set foot on mom's property