Who are you and what have you done with my DH?
So, it so happened that I got proof again this morning of OSS being on his phone more than he should. He was on it at 11pm last night, from BMs. That's way past his bed time. DH has suggested to BM to put in controls (since she owns the phones they use to text, surf, etc.). But she insists that there's no need for anything.
Before anyone jumps on me, I did not tamper with the phone. OSS did something from the browser to access a site using an account we have. The account happens to send email when you log in from a "unlisted" device.
It was an opening to show him the other proof I had of OSS not following rules here. DH was not happy at all (blatant proof that your kid disobeyed you should do that). He's *always* made excuses for the skids. He didn't this time.
When I explained how we could set up some things for better monitoring and control, DH got interested. He's not at all techie but he was asking questions and volunteering ideas.
Interesting. Very interesting. It's the first time he really has thoughtfully and logically talked full-on, specific-topic parenting. I'll admit it's a bit of a turn on to have him interested in parenting *and* tech stuff.
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I wasn't in BMs business. I
I wasn't in BMs business. I stated, that before people jump on me, I have done nothing to the phone. I don't talk to BM except for maybe once a year if we are at the same event for a skid.
I don't have control over OSS going on his phone while at BMs house to go into a website with an account we set up at our house, not BMs. No one has called BM about it. The only reason I know about it is the email message I got notifying me someone logged in from a new device. I saw the email in the morning and was surprised and happened to say something out loud before I had my first coffee.
The phones are a point of contention between DH and BM. I don't say much about them when the skids are here with them.
DH wants some help with boundaries in our house. I can see where that may seem like I'm getting into a world of hurt. However, I have a teenage kid who needs (and gets) some watching on the electronics. DH is just for the first time interested in doing more parenting/monitoring...in our house.
And, no, none of it involves tracking the kids or jailbreaking their phones, or knowing or dictating what BM does in her house.
And it's not really about the phones, it's about electronics in general and house rules overall.
"But it PROVES she is right
"But it PROVES she is right ... and adds to her ammo against OSS and ... OP can "save" DH and help him become a more effective parent by showing him tech mods and ..." No matter how I read it, it just doesn't end that well for OP.
My advice: let stuff that doesn't affect you daily and intimately, just lie. Seriously. I don't discuss hygiene practice at SGD's BD/SM house, but I address the fact that I had to kneel down to wipe menstrual blood smear off the bathroom toilet. Not a little, but "you cannot freakin' use this toilet 'cuz it looks like I killed a person" amount of dried blood. That interfered actively in my life = act/educate with SO awareness.
After hours phone use? It smacks of looking for trouble and will bite you in the butt.
Leave it alone girl - you're
Leave it alone girl - you're inviting a whole world of drama into your life if you keep it up. Better for BM and your DH to sort out.
I think it's cool that your
I think it's cool that your DH is starting to want to pay attention and think ahead about how to handle problems. You didn't do anything but open a door to a conversation.
For all the naysayers, go get some coffee.
I can understand that you
I can understand that you weren't trying to interfere in BM's business. You just happened to get an automated email that some sites have for security purposes.
But some posters are correct too that if the bios don't care, you are just wasting your time.
I had our computer under a keylogger for the minors' accounts. I saw that SD would do some mighty inappropriate things on different sites. I told DH. BM had to have known because she was listed as a friend/follower. Nothing ever happened so I just quit wasting my time and getting all upset over their (lack of) parenting. This resulted in my SD being pregnant shortly after her 16th birthday.
I agree. No good deed goes
I agree. No good deed goes unpunished. You will eventually get the blame when the parents do a 180 and are looking for a scapegoat. "SM was SNOOPING against my SON!!"
I understand you just saw it,
I understand you just saw it, and know that the same behavior may be replicated at your home.
I understand because I have been there.
My exH lets the kids stay up all night, any night, even school nights on their devices. I see kindle down load emails and "chatting" all night long. I have not told him (ExH) I do not agree with his parenting, but when DD and DS complain, I do point out to them I do not agree whit his rules, that' s why mine are different.
We do not allow devices after 9pm, the Wifi turns off, locks the devices out!
We also collect all electronics and charge them in our bedroom over night.
Growing children need sleep