This is right up there with Nutella, buttering toast, Icky Cram and “Sun rises in the South”.

Yes dear readers, hang on to your shorts and shelve the higher processing functions of your brain. You won’t need ‘em.

SS was with us this weekend because it was Mother’s Day. Did SS buy his mother anything? Nope. Did SS make anything for his Mom? Nope.

SS decides he wants to make pancakes for breakfast.

“I want to make you pancakes tomorrow.” SS says to DW Saturday night.

“Thanks SS, but I don’t like pancakes. How about you make me scrambled eggs and toast instead?”” DW says.

“Uh....Well...I really want pancakes. So can I make pancakes for myself?”

“If you want...”

By noon on Sunday, SS hadn’t woken up yet. DW was getting hungry. Since waking SS up is not an option (remember, teenagers NEED their sleep), DW asked me if I could make her my typical “loggers breakfast”. This what I normaly do on Sundays. Eggs, ham, hashbrowns, toast, beans and whatever fresh fruits I have on hand.

I cook, serve, clean up and then DW and I get to work on renovating BS new room (we’re laying in a new floor).

SS comes up and asks if he can still make pancakes. We say sure, go ahead.

SS goes into the kitchen and in the space of 1 minute he starts being a PITA.

“Moooooooom!?!? I need your help!”

DW doesn’t budge. She really wants to get this floor renovation project done, so she says no.

“But I don’t understand these instructions. It says for ten minus eleven people! How much is that? Do I need to halve the recipe or something?”

DW tells SS to come to the bedroom.

“You’re not reading the instructions right.” DW says.

“Yes I am!” SS says. “It says ‘for ten minus eleven people’. How many people is that? One?”

“Show me!” I say

SS shows me the pancake mix box pointing to the phrase that has befuddled him.

I start laughing.

”This recipe makes 10 – 11 pancakes”

“That’s a dash, NOT a minus sign” I correct. “And you see that word there? That reads PAN- CAKES...not people.”

“Oh.”

“And by the way, 10 minus 11 is negative 1. Not that it matters in your case.”

“Okay, so I can follow the recipe as is?”

“Yes.” I say. “BS loves pancakes and he might want one or two.”

SS heads off to the kitchen again.

I start counting down. “60, 59, 58, 57....”

Before I hit 45, another kitchen crisis occurs.

“Mooooooooom! Do we have large eggs?”

“Yes! In the fridge!”

“But are they LARGE!?!?”

“YES THEY’RE GARGANTUAN!!!”

“No, no...I mean chicken eggs...”

By now, I on the floor (well sub-floor) laughing my ass off....DW is shaking her head.

The hilarity ensues when SS can’t find the measuring cups and pours out too much of the pancake batter mix.

“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! I POURED TOO MUCH MIX!!! WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?”

After telling him to spoon the extra out into a bowl, SS finally manages to get the milk, mix and egg (LARGE egg) into a bowl and starts mixing....

He asks if he can throw in some chocolate chips in and I say sure but to only throw the chocolate chips AFTER he pours the batter onto the frying pan.

SS does so, but forgets to spray Pam onto the pan. Another crisis ensues and “MOOOOOOOM!!!!” is called for again. By now DW is annoyed. She goes to the kitchen to supervise Tall Boy.

In the end, SS made 8 minus 9 pancakes because the first two were botched and about half the pancake mix was spilled onto the counter.

But he finally made a pancake. Not sure how he got them rectangular shaped though...