BM found out that SHE might have to pay child support
I can just imagine how it went down too: "What?!?!?!? How can this be? But, but....I'm the MOTHER."
For those of you who don't know, my DH has paid 100% of the BCSO since his divorce even though he had the kids about half the time at the time his parenting plan was written. They didn't follow the state guidelines for calculating CS. She just came up with a $ amount that she needed in order to not be a bitch and drag the divorce process out forever. He complied thinking that throwing money at her would shut her up. Bwahahahahahah! Men, lol.
Anyway, she has been lying about her income since 2012 and has refused to exchange W2s every year. Now that DH's son is old enough to have his wishes considered (if this goes to court), he has made it clear that he wants to stay with us full time and just visit his mom EOWE. She's not going to accept that at all and it will be a huge battle. I'm thinking about staying drunk for the next couple of months so I don't have to think about any of it.
Do you know what her first proposal to DH was after finding out how SS really felt? This is good... It was an email. She wants DH to surrender his parental rights and in exchange she won't try to collect child support from him. All he has to do is agree to it and they don't even have to get lawyers. She would have her "free legal advise person" from work write something up. :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
Yeah. That sounds legit. Who told her this was a good strategy? This was before she got served (that's another completely hilarious story) so we are still waiting to see what her real, lawyer approved response is going to be.
Am I crazy or does it seem like a flailing attempt at not having her financial info released? This looks so transparent to me. If DH gets custody, she won't be raking it in anymore or at the very worst, she will owe him CS.
The last time he saw her he told her that no matter what they decided, he didn't plan on taking any money from her. She stopped mid-sentence and started getting flustered and couldn't respond to him.
- Mercury's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I have been thinking about
I have been thinking about you and your situation ever since this started.
I have no doubt that his BM will try to do the exact same thing. She has already encouraged PAS in DH's daughter. We have some pretty damning evidence of it in writing both from BM and SD so DH plans to use that to build his case if necessary. I don't think wants to accept the fact that it could happen anyway, especially since BM has recruited SD in her campaign.
Right now, SS is rebelling against his mom so she had him put on antidepressants. Even that seems to be backfiring on her. SS finally started articulating his wishes in a more coherent manner. I guess he needed the meds after all, lol.
Anyway, I just keep thinking about your SS and how quickly things can change.
almost 13
almost 13
I've already told him to go
I've already told him to go for 50/50.
SS16 told BM the same thing
SS16 told BM the same thing when he was 13. Court told him that he had to see her EOWE and then when 14 it was up to him. She owed us CS, but DH said if she just signed it and stopped fighting it, then he would say no CS when my SD turned 18. She couldn't sign fast enough. It has worked for us. He has thrived being out of that house.
I would pursue it and make her pay the CS. Still irritates me that DH agreed to that.
SS17 also told BM he wanted
SS17 also told BM he wanted to live with her and she had him write a letter to the judge while he was visiting with her about a year ago.
DH didn't know anything about it until he got a letter from the court saying one of the parents needed to petition the court if they want to move further.
DH asked SS about it, SS told DH he did it to make her feel better and listed off a whole bunch of reasons why he didn't want to live with BM. SS then told BM over the phone the next time he spoke with her and it hasn't been brought up since.
When the court took BM2 for
When the court took BM2 for CS OMG. In the end she didn't have to pay anything but wow... for the 4 months the court date was being continued... It was Hell. 20+ voicemails and texts a day.
BM wanted paternity on only one of her children and she let it be known in EvERY voicemail she left.
See, I'm torn now. I told DH
See, I'm torn now. I told DH that I would support him and I was fine with full custody. Then I got scared of the horrible battle that he will have to go through and told him that 50/50 would probably be best. I don't really believe that it's best for SS, this was more for my own selfish reasons.
Some of you have had great success stories but then I think about Tog.
BM isn't on crack, she has a job, she goes to church, she doesn't hit the kids (very often but that's ok where we live). She is mostly abusive in ways that nobody pays attention to. Other than that she is a "Good Upstanding Christian Woman"™. And boy does everyone in this Bible belt believe it.
She will not be found to be an unfit mother. I'm certain of that. I'm also certain that SS will thrive if he can get away from his mom and sister's special brand of crazy.
I'm not convinced DH will win if he goes for full custody, even if it is what SS really wants.
Thank you for this.
Thank you for this.
I agree. She has done
I agree. She has done everything in her power to screw him over financially since the day he told her he was done with her. She honestly thought CS was the penalty he had to pay for leaving her. I'm not even exaggerating that point. I wish I was. The delusions run strong with this one.
Why wouldn't he try to get some of it back if he could? That is a good question. Here's what I suspect: he just wants to look good in front of the kids. If it turns out that he could stick it to their mom, he wouldn't, and he probably thinks they will respect him more for it.
edited to add: That's why he ended up paying 100% of the BCSO in the first place. He thought the kids would see that he went above and beyond what was required of him and they would respect him for it. Didn't happen. SD hates him.
The huge red flag for me is
The huge red flag for me is that when she learned that SS wanted to live with us, she sent DH the email asking him to surrender all of his parental rights. That pretty much says a lot about what she is capable of.
I agree with Rising. There's
I agree with Rising. There's probably lots of attorneys who would be happy to burn through your $$$ in a custody battle, but based on what you've told us, 50/50 is the best your DH can hope for.
It seems like BM's imcome is her Achilles heel, so hopefully your DH leverages that to his advantage. As for cs, often custodial dads are either too proud or too spineless to request cs from their exes. They don't seem to have any problem with using SM imcome to help with additional expenses, though. So if things get to that point, please don't get stuck paying BM's cs for her.
My SD was older when she said
My SD was older when she said she wanted to live with us (17), but here's what worked for us. SD and her mom were having major clashes. SD wanted out of the house and frankly BM wanted someone else to deal with her. She STILL would have fought tooth and nail against a change in custody except for one thing. DH agreed to waive all CS. As soon as she heard that she wouldn't have to pay him anything AND he'd be the one who had to deal with her, she was fine with it. The met a lawyer who drew up the papers for them and filed, cost all of like $100.