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Trying to get on the same page as DW with major home renovations...

Drac0's picture

...is not easy.

We're doing a big shift in our house. SS is moving into the guest room. BS is moving into SS's room. BD and BS are currently sharing a room so BD will have a room to herself as well.

Everyone likes the idea...

Unfortunately, time and budget are becoming an issue. I've done numerous painting and renovation jobs in the past, so when I say "This room is going to take 2 hours minimum just to prime." DW doesn't believe me. Argument #1 ensues.

SS's room is a freaking pigsty. It needs to be cleaned out before we can do anything. DW asks for my help, and I say "Okay." I grab a garbage bag, and anything that looks like trash to me, I toss. So I am tossin things out like:
- a broken platic slinky
- an empty pez dispenser
- An empty M&M's tin container
- A broken figurine of Obi Wan
- A ball made of rubber bands.
DW demands that I stop. Apparently, all this stuff I am throwing out are "valuable" to SS and needs to be kept. So I hand her the plastic garbage bag and say "I can't do this then" and walk away to play on my iPad. Argument #2 ensues.

DW finally concedes that SS has "a lot of stuff". So she runs out to get two "scrap boxes" to safeguard these little keepsakes. It doesn't take long for these boxes to fill up.

DW then says she wants to go buy a new dresser for SS. I tell her "Why do you want to buy furniture BEFORE we do a paint job?" I tell her she is just going to get paint splattered all over it. DW says that won't happen. I remind DW that the last time she painted she got paint on the floor, the ceiling, her hair and the dog. Argument #3 ensues.

DW then states she wants to redo some of the electrical and the phone wiring in SS's new room so that he can plug in his laptop, his TV, etc. the way he wants it. Redoing electrical work when the drywall is put up is a pain. I've done it before, but it's a two man job and the two people need to know what they are doing. I tell her that what SS wants will take me and my Dad working together for a whole day to do. Again, DW doesn't believe me. Argument #4 ensues.

Dad actually came over later. DW immediately ran to him to ask him his opinion (because really, I am LYING about the amount of time it will take). My Dad listens carefully, surveys the surroundings and says "Yeah, this will take a couple of hours, and even then, it may not be possible. But why do you want to do all this? Couldn't SS just hook up to the Wifi on the laptop? And why would you do all this work for a kid who may no longer live here in 2 years?"

I thank Dad. Dad leaves.

Argument #5 ensues.

Comments

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

You are right. I just painted. I got paint on the floor, on the baby, on the dog and wait for it ***** the new dresser I bought **** it's got pink paint on it.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

yes seriously but painting is a lot of work. A lot of prep and a lot of cleaning and clean up and tape and I have four kids and a dog and no time so I skimped in those areas and paid the price

Drac0's picture

I have no problems giving her what she wants. Really I don't...but DW just doesn't understand that Rome wasn't built in a day. Every time we do something like this, something else comes up.

"Oh Draco! We need to fix the door handle on the bedroom door too."
"Oh Draco! We need to cut that tree branch so SS can get some sunlight in his room"
"Oh Draco! What about the mouldings? I don't like them. Can we change them?"

My goto response is "Sure honey... Just add it to the list."

List already has a hundred items on it.

I'm not kidding.

Drac0's picture

Believe me, I would prefer it this way. That was argument #43.

SS has been spending a lot of time in the guest room because (get this!) it's cleaner and he sleeps better in there.

His current room had a large desk that I initially put in there so he could study because I was fed-up of him studying in front of the TV or out on the kitchen table. That desk just became a repository for crap. He hasn't used that desk in a year. DW and I debated over it and we both agreed. We'll get rid of this desk and exchange it for a smaller desk. This way SS still has a place where he can "study" and he has less surface area he can mess up.

tryingmom's picture

I got stuck on why you and DW are cleaning SS's room. I'd give him the 3 boxes: Trash, Keep, Donate and if anyone had to stand over him it should be his mother.

Drac0's picture

SS isn't with us on the weekends. The only time DW and I are free to do any kind of home renovation project, is the weekend. If we were to wait for SS and DW to be free to do this, my kids will be going off to college before DW and I could agree on what colors to paint their rooms.

thinkthrice's picture

You should do the "Chef" method of painting. No warning, nothing. He just shows up with paint in hand. No masking off, no drop cloths. He shows up and says "move it/cover it or I'll get paint on it" about 15 minutes before he proceeds to paint.

If you must "clean" then say " I'll put everything in a bag and put it in the guest room then YOU can sort it out at a later date. Say: "DW, we can't get furniture (2nd hand of course) until we get SS's input; then "forget" about getting his input. This is guerilla warfare, man! Don't telegraph your punches!

momandmore's picture

Oh my Gosh I feel your pain! We started on one room and now almost every room in the house is a construction zone because DH can't stick to just one thing.
It started with painting one room and now we are ripping up carpet in another, painting in another and then he started some outside projects over the weekend with nothing finished and I get to keep our toddler out of everything!

MommyNotMommy's picture

Seems to me that you could move BS to the guest room and hand SS a couple of cans of paint.

Drac0's picture

Guest room is about the same size but has a sharp angle to get into. Only way to fit furniture in there is if it separates into pieces.

B22S22's picture

If your DW doesn't believe you, then let her do it. Easy peasey.

My DH has a rather rude habit of contradicting me when we are doing a project - if he's trying to figure something out and I "suggest" doing it X way, he'll say "NO! It can't be done 'that way'!" So I shut up, and usually within 3 min, he's doing it 'that way'. I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, but DH can't seem to grasp the concept that my Dad was the one I always hung out with growing up - doing construction, working on engines, etc. I can't cook with a darn, but I can change your oil and put on new brake pads.

It's gotten to the point that I'm more than happy to do stuff like that on my own. And we've done a LOT of home projects - painting, ripping up all the carpeting in our home and replacing with either tile or wood floors were the biggest projects.

Drac0's picture

DW's father is a carpenter. At least he used to be one. DW also hung around and helped him do some renovation jobs when she was little so DW thinks she has some "knowledge" when it comes to renovation projects.

Okay, when it comes to carpentry work, yes....DW has some good advice and she is right and I am usually wrong....

But carpenty is a unique skill set.

Carpentry IS NOT PAINTING
Carpentry IS NOT PLUMBING
Carpentry IS NOT ELECTRICAL WORK.

DW doesn't seem to get that.