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oh dear dh i love you but you be makin' me cray-cray!

Tuff Noogies's picture

yesterday kaos came home from spending the night at g-ma's. dh and i were watching a movie. he starts pin-balling around, getting into one thing than another and talking from one subject to another. dh tells him to knock it off. so he sits on the couch and starts writhing around and sighing. we both ignore him.

he goes into his room for a minute, then comes back out asking if friends "jim" and "john" can come over. dh tells him no. but whhhyyyyy? i'm booooored. of course they go around in circles for a minute or two. kaos goes back to his bedroom.

two minutes later, he's back. "well can i go over jim and john's?" no. "but whyyyyyyy i'm booooored." same conversation ensues. kaos returns to his bedroom.

i swear this happened probably four or five times. he then comes out one final time and says "john said i could go over there". "YOU CALLED HIM?" dh says. "well i texted him." they go back and forth and of course, i reached my limit "yeah, after you dad has told you no several times."

kaos goes back into his room, and dh hisses at ME "you have no idea how damaging it is between you two, when you say things like that!" **** really dh? wow... so i kept my mouth shut. dh asks kaos what john's mom said, they go round and round for a few minutes and finally hammer out an arrangement with lurch taking him over and dh giving him 5 bucks for gas.

flashback- that morning, dh gave him $20 to get two dollar menu items, and to put the rest in his gas tank. he told him NO UPGRADES, no substitutions, you are putting $17.88 in your tank. he made that clear three times.

oh so back to lurch getting home after dropping off kaos. he makes an appreciative comment about being able to get twenty bucks of gas in one day. dh says "well it's actually more like almost 23.00." "well i didnt get x this morning i got y." dh CRAWLED his a$$ for doing precisely what he had told him NOT to do. (and he had every right to.)

i kept my mouth shut. then later on in the evening, dh and i are out on the back porch and i start out by saying "i'm not wanting to get into a big discussion or argument, but i have something i feel i need to say i'd like you to think about. please be careful about having double standards with the kids. you got on lurch's case for doing precisely what you told him not to do. but when kaos disrespected you by going behind your back and doing something you already said 'no' to, he gets rewarded with precisely what he wanted."

well. not sure what dh's problem was, but that went over like a fart in church and of course turned into a big argument. what in the ever loving h3ll....

we still haven't spoken. Sad

Comments

robin333's picture

Sounds like Mr. Tuff didn't like you pointing out rewarding bad behavior.

Men, they can be so frustrating!

Tuff Noogies's picture

oh i was redhot mad that he freaking hissed at me like that - i told him hey, calling him out on going behind your back is FAR LESS damaging than your teaching him that doing that get's an effing REWARD. THAT causes far more damage.

i'm just all weepy and emotional tho'. i should have just remained disengaged and not given either incident any thought. and i hate when we argue, i still desperately miss him so much. i miss the way things used to be.

and now the waterworks start. sheesh... i'm going to take my meds and a double dose of bcp.

Tuff Noogies's picture

thnx robin. it's short for birth control pills. i feel like i'm having pms, emotionally.

lintini's picture

I'm sorry Tuff. I can't believe he got mad at you when you backed him up. Those two kids are turds that know how to work their dad.

Tuff Noogies's picture

noogies update - ok so my hubby is not a complete ass Wink he had a friend doing some work at the house, things started off icy but then he started with his way of showing me that he's sorry by small words/gestures (that's part of his love-language). later on last night, we had a lovely heart to heart, and even hashed out some disagreements that had been festering for the last few days (not just sunday). i shared with him some stuff we'd discussed here on STalk, and the words to take each day and see what we can do to make it a better day for our spouse. he loved that btw Smile we talked from about 1115 to maybe 1145 and fell asleep in each others arms.

so, happy happy night. today is a new day.

Salems Lot's picture

Awe. I m glad to hear you were able to work it out. Perhaps there's still hope for some of the rest of us. Smile