SD18 coming over this weekend - in theory
DH talked to her last night, and she says she's bringing the baby (SGD) over to visit this weekend. We'll see. Her H (I HATE calling him that) has so far refused to let her visit us at all - and refused to let her bring the baby to BM's, although he does allow SD to visit her mom. SD was supposed to come over last weekend actually, but SGD was sick so she didn't come. (Although... like I said, her H has forbidden her to come to our house in the past, so I do sort of wonder if "the baby is sick" was truth or her covering for him.)
Anyway, DH was on speaker and I could hear SD's H in the background at her house. And it sounded a little bit like SD did NOT ask permission to come visit this time - she simply TOLD her H that she was bringing the baby to visit. If that's true, it's new. And for the first time in a year, I am ever so slightly hopeful.
Oh, and she said something about her H having a new job, and DH asked her a few questions. Not only did she have no idea what her H would be doing, she also didn't know what the company did. This seems.... weird. I mean, wouldn't she have asked him about it? I don't know, maybe it's "normal" in an abusive relationship for her not to know anything about his job, but to me it says "disinterest". Which also gives me some hope. 
I really hope she actually does come this weekend. Although BM is going to LOSE HER SHIT if she finds out we got to visit with SGD when SD's H refuses to allow BM to see her at all!
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"I don't think in my off time
"I don't think in my off time thank you very much."
This literally made me burst out laughing!!!
Oh I know what you mean about not asking about work! DH and I don't really discuss work at all - mostly because for both of us, what one person does is over the other person's head. (We're both in highly specialized fields with their own training and jargon. When we try to talk about work both of us have to "dumb it down"!)
I feel bad for your SD.. of
I feel bad for your SD.. of course it's her own fault for getting herself wrapped up with this assface.. but what an awful way to live! when you have a baby one of the first things you WANT to do is share the love with your family and this guy won't "allow" it? It'd be a cold day in hell before a man told me I was not "allowed" to do something.
hopefully, she's wising up and growing some balls... I just hope that doesn't make this guy escalate.
p.s. how are you feeling?
p.s. how are you feeling?
SERIOUSLY. Of my 3 SDs, THIS
SERIOUSLY. Of my 3 SDs, THIS is the only one with the lady balls to stand up to her mother. So I do NOT understand how she got herself into this. Oh, I get that she's got a fucked up idea of what "love" is because of her mom, but jesus.... So he tells her she's "not allowed" to come to our house because it's raining (yes, that was the "reason" one time). She was in fucking TEARS, sobbing to her dad on the phone that she was so sorry, she couldn't come. DH hears her H yell in the background, "If he shows up here anyway you'll be sorry!" Not only does she spend the next 10 minutes convincing her father NOT to come, she also tells him that the only reason her H is acting his way is because he "loves" her and he's "worried" about her safety on the wet roads. :sick: (In the end, only the fact that SD would refuse his help AND it would end up hurting her convinced DH not to go over anyway.)
She's got this screwy idea that that actually IS love because her mom is a controlling fruit cake too. But I'm hoping that she starts to stand up to him the way she eventually stood up to her mom. She might, for her daughter. Maybe.
I'm all right, thanks! My BS2 pounced on me when I wasn't paying attention and landed right on my incision though, so I've been in a bit more pain the past couple days. Drugs are good though.
He refuses to let her visit?
He refuses to let her visit? That is one of the top signs of a controlling asshole. I feel bad for your SD. I hope as she matures, she learns to stand up for herself.
My SD23 (very immature) is again involved with this ex-con (who I am pretty sure is in jail right now but she will not admit it). She tells DH, "He is so protective over me and the boys." Uh-huh. The guy has treated her like crap from the beginning. I know what "protective" means with guys like this.
I know what "protective"
I know what "protective" means with guys like this.
Ding ding ding!!!
Oh yeah, the winner my SD had the misfortune to have a child with and marry is a controlling and abusive asshole with a prior conviction for domestic assault, with diagnosed and unmedicated bipolar disorder. We've witnessed him being verbally abusive, although I haven't seen physical yet. (He punched a hole in her TV, apparently, but hasn't hit HER that I know of. Again - YET.)