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Devastated

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:24pm

Well our happiness was short lived.I had a scan yesterday which revealed the baby's heartbeat is very weak & the scan today revealed the heart had stopped beating altogether.So tomorrow which would have been my 8 week scan I am having an ERPC instead.Devastated doesn't begin to explain how I feel right now.

To add to the horror of today BM started with her petty bullshit.SS went on a school trip from last Weds to Sat (her weekend).As he left here on Weds with a suitcase of clothes she dropped them off this morning-unwashed.Whenever SS has brought clothes here from BM I always make sure it's sent back washed & ironed.In addition SS had a football match on Sun (as usual) and generally whoever has SS washes the kit and sends it on to the other house clean.Well the kit came back from Sun caked in mud.SS said he put it in the wash,BM took it out and said DH/SM can wash it.

It is SS birthday this weekend and I am dreading having to stick a fake smile on my face and celebrate the birth of a child which DH had with another woman when our baby has just died.

Just needed to vent feel so down and lost at the moment.

Comments

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:29pm

Very sorry for your loss.

Let your dh do the wash. Check into a spa during the kid's party. You don't need to face that right now. Let yourself be pampered and get some peace. Do not subject yourself to more misery and sorrow this weekend.

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:30pm

SO sorry to hear this. You personally can "celebrate" SS's birthday in private, DH can explain to people that you are "not feeling well."

I lost a baby at 10.5 weeks pregnancy, I was pretty down and not up for company for a while after that. Give yourself some emotional space.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:38pm

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sure you can get some forgiveness for not wanting to participate in festivities this weekend. You need some time to grieve. Plan a spa day. Or a girls shopping day.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:47pm

I'm very sorry for your loss.
In our culture we do not tell anyone about our pregnancy until we have completed the 1st trimester. We believe in the evil eye and the wicked thoughts of others affecting the turnout.
Try and do something kind for yourself. A spa day or something relaxing.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:51pm

So sorry. Big hugs

Hubby and I lost our baby 25 years ago. Still haunts us. We sometimes are so sad that we lost the baby and then broke up about 1.5 years later. Had we not lost that baby, maybe we would of not broken up and end up having kids with other people, only to get back together to raise each others kids....sigh....

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 2:47pm

Thank-you all for your kindness and support, you are all so amazing, helping me to feel less alone.I just feel such incredible anger and sadness all at the same time.

monkeyseemonkeydo I'm having a ERPC as we want them to do karyotyping to see if the pregnancy failed due to chromosomal issues or my raised immunes.This will be useful for the clinic when we do another IVF cycle.

My poor fur babies can sense something is not right, they keep head butting me and purring I suppose it's their way of trying to comfort me.

tryingmom's picture

Submitted by tryingmom on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 3:18pm

Hugs! Don't worry about SS, let his parents take care of him and make sure you take care of you. I'm so sorry.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 3:20pm

Oh no. I am so sad to hear this. Please make sure to take all the time you need to grieve and work through your emotions.

I am pretty damn sure that your DH will understand if you aren't up to faking a smile for a while.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 5:29pm

I am so very, very sorry. I lost a pregnancy at 12 weeks, 30 years ago. I still grieve that around the due date, even though had I had that child I would not have my wonderful DD. Logic has no role here. You've lost something powerful, and you need to grieve and take care of yourself. I don't think I could manage a birthday party for my own kid much less a stepkid at this point.

Hugs.