SS awarded. DW not impressed.

So DW threw me for a loop yesterday.

Yesterday morning, SS showed DW a certificate of merit he received the other day.

The certificate is for "Most improved student in Social Studies".

I guess this is to reflect the fact that SS went from a 38% to a 70%.

Considering how strained DW and I have been lately, I decided to be the optimist.

"This is great!" I said. "I am very happy to see this."

DW, by the look on her face, wasn't....and at first I thought she was still mad at me. I asked her what was wrong and she said "He shouldn't have gotten this award in the first place. If he was not fooling around in class and doing what he was was supposed to be doing he wouldn't have received this award."

I was stunned! This is the first time I have ever seen DW lay the blame solely on SS.

She did not blame the teacher.
She did not blame SS being a COD.
She did not blame SS's father.
She did not blame SS's ADHD.
She did not blame herself.

She blamed SS!

I cannot tell you the slew of thoughts that ran through my mind at that moment.

Namely;
Who are you, and what have you done with my wife!?

It's these moments of clarity that give me some "hope" that there is a future for us and our family.

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Namely; Who are you, and what

Namely;
Who are you, and what have you done with my wife!?

That's what I said!

Touché!

I miss Fringe!

>That's a fucking award

>That's a fucking award now?<

In my day, they gave this award to the one student per grade who improved his OVERALL average throughout the year. So really, there was only 6 of these awards given out per year

Now days they give it to the most improved student per subject, per semester. By my calculation that means 75 of these awards are given out every year.

*shrug*

On the other hand, I'd MUCH

On the other hand, I'd MUCH rather they give out awards that are based on actual effort (like improvement) than simple participation. *shrug* So this one wouldn't bother me. DW's got a point that he only got it because he was fucking around to begin with, but (playing devil's advocate) anything that encourages him to STOP fucking around is probably a good thing. And recognition for effort is a good tool for that.

To be fair, that totally

To be fair, that totally depends on your school district. The schools near me, the ones my BS5 will go to, are NOT like that. (We, in fact, picked where to live based on the school district.) He's in K, I've met the elementary school teachers, and they are *serious* about education. And they'll jerk a parent up short who doesn't seem on board. My aunt lives in another state and teaches HS, and she's not like that either - but she still loves being a teacher, even after 30 years of it.

The HS my skids went to though? UGH. Horrid, burned out teachers who didn't give a crap. It's like the school teachers go to to die or something.

WOAH! Did you ever figure

WOAH! Did you ever figure out who that woman was? Does DW have a twin or something?

Did Donkey Kong book that trip? The one that SS HAS to pass everything to go on, otherwise he has to go to summer school? Just wondering how much of DK's current zest for SS's schooling is due to his non-refundable deposit....

Good question. I don't know

Good question. I don't know at this point. Right now SS's sole motivation is getting his electronic gadgets back. That's the only thing he cares about right now. He has tried to manipulate DW at least three times since the punishment was enforced to get his stuff back. That's three times that I know of. I have a feeling it's more but DW won't tell me what she and SS talk about when he pulls her aside and he has been pulling her aside a lot lately.

Haven't heard anything from Donkeykong since before Spring Break. It would seem he is on board when it comes to forcing SS to put his nose to the grindstone.

This ^^^^^ once I stopped

This ^^^^^ once I stopped enforcing all the rules DH started getting really frustrated with SS. Because homework wasn't being done, chores weren't being done and then DH was done being a Disney dad.

I already planted my stick in

I already planted my stick in the sand on the point of disengaging.

It's not that I am opposed to the concept. I understand the rationale behind it.

DW wants my help. On this point she has been very clear. DW just has a HUGE problem letting me discipline her son and protecting his fee fees.

I could very well step back and not do or say anything to SS. I could just save myself the stress and aggravation and just concentrate on raising my two bios. Believe me, nothing would make me happier.

But what is going to happen when SS is 18 and a high school drop out?

I already stated that I will throw his ass out of the house if that day comes to pass. I would rather do it with a clean conscience. "At least I TRIED to help."

So I cannot sit back, do nothing and just count the days until "Ejection Day".

I already spoke very plainly about this with DW. Naturally it is a conversation she doesn't like and I have to repeat it on occasion as a reminder of where my limits are.

Back in the early years, it

Back in the early years, it was helpful at times for me to try and polish one of Chef's turds--I mean "angels"--it makes the bioparent obligated to point out that it still is a turd.

Reverse psychology.

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SS awarded. DW not impressed.

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