Yep...i've become a bitter pessimistic old hag since entering the step life.

Nope, I have always been a bitch.

I went in thinking that we could all work together for the best interests of all the kids. HA! Maybe if everyone involved was sane and mature!

BM showed me that there are mothers who care not about their own children except how they can be a means to an end.

Now I am just sad that I spent so much time, energy and, yes, money on BM drama and skids who were taught to not care less. I could have used all of that for my OWN son and my own wants/desires.

BUT, in GOOD news, I went to college for a second degree that I probably would never have bothered getting if it wasn't for the fact that the leech was draining so much of our finances. There's that, I guess

Preach sister! No matter what I do,it's never enough. Sd,"Ruby Sue" is an entitled brat and Bm Is an attention seeking whore who manipulates. I Find myself always On the lookout,trying to stay a step ahead of the bull.Also,I try to avoid doing things with sd,she is embarrassing and nasty. Before I remarried i had repaired my self esteem and was very sure of myself as a human and mother to bs10. Now I have dh whining and being dramatic because i don't dote on his brat who raised and have to deal with her miniwife behavoir,as well as crap from bm. I am trying to not let this get to me so much,enjoy my life,limit my exposure to the crap and be more like my old self.

Agree completely ..I am a changed person because of this crap..I honestly don't recognise myself...I have so much hate in me now..because of this shitty situation I'm in..I arrived like the good fairy..I'll leave like the worst disney villain...lol

"I mean, if I can't even connect with the kid living under my roof full time now, then how the Hell can I help change the world for the better??

Stupid me."

I can relate to this so much!!!!!

I feel the same way all the time. Just sad that I live with a kid that I do not really care for. What is the matter with me??? Plus, how can I love a man so very much and not like his own flesh and blood? Makes me sad at myself at times.

But I KEEP TRYING and it goes to shit EVERY TIME!!!!! sigh..........

YES!

The worst part was how much I loved taking care of other people's children. Babysitting, having them over to make cookies, jewelry-making, field trips, sleepovers, hanging their pictures up, buying them little gifts... since I'm an only, I treated all of my younger cousins and friend's kids like precious nieces and nephews.

Enter Satan's kids... Now, I don't want to waste any emotions or mental energy on other people's kids (especially GIRL kids) because it feels like SO's brats are on my mind constantly.

AND, I'm ruthless when it comes to my personal boundaries now. I have kicked a few people out of my life because I can't bother with the slightest over-stepping anymore. I guess that's a good thing, but I still feel like a big ol' grump.

Well, if anything, it's made me more of a bitch than I actually am. I no longer suffer fools gladly and have a very, very low tolerance for maniulative people.

I also realise I can now smell bulshit from a mile away..can sense when someone's trying to pull the wool over my eyes and I can spot a goddamn lie before it fully forms.

My tolerance for disrespect is zero and I have absolutely no hesitations about speaking my mind when someone crosses boundaries. Never used to be like that..I'd second guess myself and over analyse everything.

So..Steplife has made me a bigger bitch - yep..absolutely!!

Absolutely agree and this is why I came to this site tonight. I am enraged right now and it makes me so sad. DH and I fight basically when the skids arrive- he never says anything about the rules of the house (put your belongings away, do your homework, make your lunch, help when asked) unless I speak to SSs about something they haven't done- then he's all feathers ruffled, but he doesn't even see this. Until we've wasted another weekend (because this always happens on a Wednesday or a Thursday, the weeknights they're here) rehashing and talking, omg the endless talking, and he says "Maybe I just need to stay out of the little things." And then the next time he's right back in it. So tonight it was me daring to teach them where the silverware goes (we've been married for five years and have put the silverware away before- they should know)- he came ranting and again I just snapped. And of course I got mad at the skids...why should they have to follow any rules?!
So yes, I am surprised at the person I've become, and beyond sad at what has happened to DH and me- I had the same fantasy of us all working together, etc...I thought our love was unbreakable.
So so frustrating. And wth is it that he thinks he needs to protect these kids from? My expecting them to follow rules? Yet he couldn't care less that I expect the same of DS and DD.

Well I was a bitch with my exH but that started after about year 11/12 when he decided to be a cheater. I use to believe that LOVE cured it all. When exH and I split, I became me again. I was happy, always had a clean apartment, my kids and I enjoyed trips. I was nice and exciting to be around.

Fast forward to 5 years later, I am a total Bitch again. I use to like everyone's kids, I have friends that their kids would beg to come stay at my house. Because I baked, cleaned, talked to them, and we all had a good time.

Since SDs and DH have become a permanet fixture in my life, (UGh don't even get me started on BM), I don't do any of those things. When my kids are at their dad's, I steer clear of all other kids but my baby. I go straight home, half the time I don't even stop for milk.

I don't want to have people over, I don't talk to anyone on the phone. I had started a journey into becoming a photographer. Now, I just do it when SDs and DH aren't around. I use to get with a friend of mine, her 2 girls, my 2 kids and we'd go to the park, NOPE. I use to go to my cousin's house, my 2 kids & her 5 kids, NOPE.

All children irritate me now, even my own. I think my tolerance level is too low but I can't get it back. I am almost 40, my DH keeps hinting about having another kid. I told him straight out, HELL NO!