Now I know where SD's anxiety is coming from...
...as if there were ever any doubt. BM of course!
We had a great weekend with SD6's behavior much improved over the last few times she's been here. She is FINALLY back in school today after being out all last week due to weather. Things were going great until bedtime when suddenly she had a total meltdown complete with sobbing, crying, worrying about random things. Finally, the truth came out. Apparently, BM told SD that she had bought tickets to an event this Thursday evening and that if SD didn't pass her math test today, she couldn't go. WTF? I'm no expert, but I don't think dangling rewards then jerking them away if your child falls short is the best way to get results. Who says crap like this to a 6 year old anyway? BTW, this is the same BM who gave SD6 a copy of the Serenity Prayer to deal with her anxiety, so she is well aware that SD has issues with worrying obsessively over stuff like this (see my blog for that story).
There are several things wrong with this picture, but here are the top 3:
First DH and SD studied her math problems several times over the weekend. Considering SD struggles in math, she did really well (80-90% correct). So I am not sure why she was so worried. Secondly, SD seemed to think the test was pass/fail (as in if you miss 1 problem, you fail the whole test). I am not involved with SD's schoolwork but that seems harsh for a 1st grader. Makes me think that is BM's definition of "passing". Finally, BM has NO room to talk. She was kicked out of her Master's program a couple of years ago for failing her math class.
Just another item to add to my "why I hate the BM" list.
- asgoodasitgets's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Commenting here to see if my
Commenting here to see if my blog will post this time. 3rd time's the charm, right?
We tell SS7 that he is not
We tell SS7 that he is not allowed to play video games if he fails his spelling test. I don't see it as any different.
SS will throw fits about practicing his spelling and doing his homework. We say, "Fine. Don't study then. But you better be sure you know it because if you get an F, you're not going to be playing any video games until your next test."
BM flips out on us for "upsetting" SS about his grades. We call it being a responsible parent.
I don't really see that as
I don't really see that as the same, though. I can see telling kids that they will lose a privilege they normally get like TV time or video game time if their grades fall because those things can actually affect why the grades are falling (too much screen time = not enough study time). I can also see telling kids that they will be rewarded with something if they do well. My parents used to let us pick an activity if we made straight A's for the grading period for example. It gave us something to look forward to and work towards. But BM actually bought tickets to a one time only special event and told SD that if she didn't pass the test, she couldn't go. It would be different if BM bought them secretly and surprised her if she did well. That would be an incentive to continue to do well. I think what BM is doing is cruel. Especially considering how much anxiety SD already has on a normal basis.