Ok....your now warned.

Ah, and don't you dare say anything about my bio-son, SO, sibs, mother, dogs, cats or horses. I'll go all 'home-school' on you. AKA: bring out the can of 'whoop-ass.' (Gotta love Texas, you learn so much living there.)

Fruedian slip 'cuz adult felon AWOL SD and SGD-11 never entered that list. Gosh. Hate when I catch myself up.

Silliness but very true. We have certain visceral reactions to things.

Isn't it funny, if they were OUR kids he would listen but because they are his I'm just being a bitch.

LOL - if they were OUR kids we wouldn't HAVE to talk about them the way we do for one thing, because they'd be better behaved!

And secondly, you would think - given that OUR (meanng the SM's not his and mine) kids are well mannered, doing well at school and generally pretty well adapted and parented - you would THINK that they would bloody well listen up and learn from us, because obviously we are getting shit right!

NOT saying that mine are perfect by any stretch, they are still kids and learning and can be little buggers themselves - but not on anywhere near the scale of the step brats.

All hell breaks loose if you speak ill of the step children. All hell breaks loose if you say nothing about the step children. All the step dysfunction existed before before the new wife came into the picture.

I have not experienced dealing with young steps, only had the experience of marrying someone with adult daughters. I learned early on that Dh could complain and badmouth them to every friend, family member, or stranger who would listen. As long as his audience maintained the " Poor you, " attitude he was content. Once I began pointing out that he just might be encouraging and rewarding their behavior, I became the enemy who hated his children.

Does not matter if you say nothing more then " oh, hmm, really, " as they complain and express their thoughts about their other siblings or the parent they are mad at for the moment. Somewhere down the road, you will find yourself getting blamed for the words that came out of their mouth.

Never speak ill about so s kids
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
sorry...but I think this is a no brainer. Sometimes you are even the bad guy if you agree with your SO that the skid is an idiot. lol

But really...who wants to hear someone talk bad about their kid? No one. There is a line that you really need to figure out with your SO.

What did you say to him about his kid?

I am of the belief you say it once and then never again. I believe these BM's and BD's have their heads in the sand about their precious babies. They need to hear it sometimes, but be factual and not with malice and you can survive the conversation. Me, I should have stopped at the one time, once he realized there was a problem. But, she came after me and all bets are off.

When my family asks about SD16 I always answer 'fine' with a tense smile. They know that means, 'she's a nightmare, what else is new'.

I do not speak ill of my husband's daughters, I just speak the truth.